The Mating Game
by Northern-Southern Belle
Summary: Roxie and Lucy try and get a girlfriend for Klaus, and he struggles with the loss of Alistair as his assistant and the appearance of Alistair's replacement, a bossy. perky witch named Amy, who wants to whip him into shape.
1. Amy

Disclaimer: Only plot and original characters belong to me!

"Where are you going?" Astrid asked Alistair.

"To Klaus'," Alistair replied. "I just...need to go see him.

"Are you surre you have to?" Astrid asked. "I think he's perfectly capable of managing himself by now. You need to start living your own life, separate from him."

"I don't think that's possible," Alistair scoffed. "I'm under strict orders from the powers that be to be in his service forever. You know that."

"I don't know if that applies anymore," Astrid told him. "Putting you with Klaus was originally meant to serve as a punishment for the murder of your clan leader, right?"

"Yes," Alistair nodded. "So what?"

"Do you really think of it as a punishment anymore?" Astrid asked. "Or do you just feel like a man who's helping his friend?"

"Why can't it be both?" Alistair asked. "And why should I still be punished for a mistake I made five-hundred years ago, anyway? I already was banished to another dimension and forced to be separated from my family, and then my daughter was killed. Isn't that enough punishment for my killing the clan leader? I was young and foolish back then. Now I'm older and wiser and I've learned my lesson. But at the same time, I also made a very good friend and I don't think I should have to stop being his friend just because being in his presence no longer makes me miserable."

Astrid gave him a look. "You know that when Conal put you with Klaus, he never intended for the two of you to get along as well as you did. He was counting on the two of you fighting forever. I think it would be best if you separated yourself from him so that Klaus can have help from someone else who truly deserved to be shackled to him for the rest of their lives."

"I'm not the only one who's changed," Alistair argued. "He's not as bad as he used to be either. I bet, depending on who they sent, being with Klaus wouldn't be a punishment. I bet they'd have just as good of a time as I do."

Astrid sighed. "I'll talk to Hazel and see what she says. But whatever it is, you have to promise to go along with it, all right?"

"Fine," Alistair sighed. "But I really think you're making a big deal out of nothing."

* * *

"Yes?" Hazel asked, appearing in Astrid's office. "What can I help you with, Astrid?"

"First, thank you for coming," Astrid told the woman who basically controlled all of magical law, even more than the people on the council. "I know you're busy and I'm just really grateful you could make time."

"It's my pleasure," Hazel responded, pushing her white-blonde hair out of her eyes. "What is it that you need help with? Is someone being particularly unruly? Do new laws have to be made to deal with them?"

"No," Astrid sighed. "And this is why I feel stupid bringing you down because it's more personal. Has your father ever expressed concern or discontent about my husband?"

"Alistair?" Hazel asked, eyebrow raising. "Now that you mention it, he _did_ ask me if I would come down and talk with Alistair, I was just thinking about when I was going to do it.

Astrid nodded. "So he _does_ think that Alistair and Klaus have gotten close enough that the entire point of their association is moot?"

"Yes," Hazel sighed. "That's true. I know it's going to be difficult for him to step away, though. Won't it? All those years of being with Klaus and now what's he going to do with himself?

"And what's _Klaus_ gonna do?" Astrid added. "That's the more interesting question."

Hazel grinned. "Don't worry," she said. "I'll tend to Alistair, and you think about what to do with Klaus."

* * *

"Alistair!" Klaus exclaimed when he found Alistair at his door a few days later. Alistair was looking sad.

"Why so glum?" Klaus asked. "Come in! Come in!" He ushered Alistair inside and urged him to sit down. "What brings you here?"

"I really can't stay long," Alistair told him. "I just came to say that although you and I got off to a rocky start, I've really appreciated your company over the years and I'll really miss seeing you every day."

"What are you saying?" Klaus asked. "Are you leaving? You can't be leaving!"

"Yes, I'm afraid," Alistair sighed. "Now that you and I are friends, the powers that be decided that our being with each other doesn't make any sense, since the original point of our association was to punish me and now it's no longer a punishment." He reached out his hand and firmly grasped Klaus'. "It's been a pleasure knowing you," he said. "Astrid promised me she'd find someone to replace me who'll be just as good at managing your life as I was. I don't know who it will be, though. So it could be a rather unfortunate surprise, just to warn you."

Klaus nodded. "If it has to be this way, there's not much we can do, is there? Goodbye, Alistair. And good luck."

Once Alistair was gone, Klaus spent the rest of the day wandering around the house aimlessly and drinking and when he went to bed that night, he had the bed all to himself. He slept fitfully, and in the morning, as the room filled with light, he noticed that he was no longer alone. There was a shape next to him. She was fully dressed and grinning at him, but that didn't make her any less alarming

"Bloody hell!" He cried when he saw her. He scrambled to cover himself up but the redhead with big blue eyes who was in the bed next to him didn't seem particularly alarmed. "Who the hell are you?" He asked her. "And what are you doing in my bed? Did I order a prostitute last night? I don't remember doing it. I'm pretty sure I went to bed alone."

She giggled. "I'm not a prostitute," she said. She got out of bed and, using magic, moved the curtains apart so even more light filled the room. "There," she said with satisfaction. "That's better, don't you think?"

"No," Klaus groaned. "Let me sleep."

She just shook her head and magicked the covers off him. "Get up!" she ordered. "We need to get you busy. Astrid sent me by the way. She told me that your life was an absolute mess and that you needed someone to manage it for you. I can do that. I'm fully qualified. It's my job."

"What?" Klaus asked, still refusing to get out of bed. "What's your job? Irritating people? And you just can't go removing my covers. For all you knew, I might have been naked!"

"Oh, relax!" She told him. "I knew you weren't. I checked already, while you were asleep. Now get dressed! We have a lot to do today!"

"Will you at least tell me what your name is?" Klaus asked. "Since you think you have the right to order me about and all."

"It's Amy," the woman replied. "My name is Amy and you can consider me your new life coach!"

"Wonderful," Klaus groaned. "Remind me to send Astrid a thank you note once I get my bearings. Now would you mind going somewhere else while I dress?"

"Fine," Amy replied. "But I want you in the kitchen for breakfast in half an hour." She left and Klaus groaned, his fingers running through his hair. Where had Astrid found this woman? And how could he send her back?


	2. The Power Of Positive Thinking

"Daddy?" Roxie opened the front door of her house and peered at her father on the front step. "I wondered when I was gonna see you! You haven't talked to me for awhile, or come into Enid's!"

"Yes, well," Klaus cleared his throat as he came into the house. "Apparently, Amy thinks that going to bars is not a productive use of my time. She's been running me ragged ever since I met her."

"Who is Amy?" Roxie asked. "A new girlfriend?" Her nose crinkled at the thought.

"Oh, _god_, no!" Klaus shook his head. "I would definitely not go so far as to call her my girlfriend. More like a pain in my neck. I think that would be a more appropriate way to describe her."

"Sounds like a girlfriend to me," Vince replied, coming to stand behind Roxie.

"Hey!" Roxie frowned. "Watch it."

"Was I talking about you?" Vince asked her. "Everything is not about you."

Roxie rolled her eyes. "Anyway," she said, "how did you meet this Amy anyway?"

"You probably won't believe me, but I'll tell you anyway," Klaus replied. "She showed up in my bed one morning just out of nowhere. Astrid sent her as compensation for suggesting Alistair leave my service."

"Alistair's _gone_?" Roxie asked. "You have to live by yourself? Oh, poor Daddy."

"No," Klaus shook his head. "Amy's made herself quite comfortable."

"What's she like?" Vince asked. "If Astrid sent her, she can't be that bad."

"She's a witch with a mission," Klaus replied. "Of course she can be bad. Apparently, it's her job to tell people how to run their lives. No one should have that much power, especially someone as pushy as she is." He shuddered. "She wakes me up before sunrise every day and makes me do laps around a lake by my house while she chases after me with a megaphone yelling what she seems to think are things that will motivate me."

"Have you tried killing her?" Roxie asked. "You can do that, you know."

"I know I could, but despite Amy's many failings, it's nice to have someone in the house when I get home." Klaus replied. "It makes me feel less alone."

"Well, maybe I should try and find you a girlfriend," Roxie offered. "Would you like that? And does Mom know about Amy?"

Klaus nodded. "She does. I tried to hide at your uncle's house once to get away from her, but she managed to find me anyway, and she met your mom in the process. Not that Amy knows who she actually is, but they've seen each other." He paused. "As for you attempting to find me someone, I don't know if that's a good idea. It might stir up trouble with Lucy."

"Lucy?" Roxie scoffed. "Why should I care what _Lucy_ thinks? She hardly spends any time with you at all! She likes Uncle Elijah better and never comes to visit cause she's too involved with Damon and getting her stupid degree!" She paused. "Let me try and find someone for you, please? I promise I'll do a good job."

"Fine," Klaus told her. "Why not? Everyone else seems to think they need to have a go at controlling my life lately. Why not you too?"

"Thanks!" Roxie told him, giving him a hug. "You're not gonna regret this! And I want to meet that Amy some time. She sounds like a piece of work."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll meet her sometime," Klaus assured Roxie. "She has a knack for just appearing everywhere she's not wanted."

"You mean she's gonna come here?" Vince asked. "Are you trying to hide out again?"

"No," Klaus shook his head. "I was honest with her this time and told her that I needed to go talk to my daughter. She promised she'd let me go alone, but who knows how long the reprieve will last?" He sighed. "Please come and visit me," he said. "I could use the company."

"All right," Roxie nodded. "I will. Consider me the person who will lessen the effects of Crazy Amy."

Klaus grinned. "Good luck with that," he said. "I think that would be impossible for just one person, but the thought that it could be is a promising one."

"You know," Roxie told him. "Why don't I just come with you? I kinda want to meet her now."

"All right," Klaus nodded. "Vince?" He asked his put-upon son-in-law. "Mind if I borrow your wife for awhile?"

"Sure," Vince nodded. "Go ahead. You two have a good time."

Roxie nodded and she and Klaus left to head back to his house. When they reached it, they parked in the driveway and then Amy met them at the door. "Hi!" She said to Roxie. "Are you one of the daughters? Or are you someone he brought over to trick me into thinking he went to meet one of his daughters when he really went to a bar instead?"

"No," Roxie shook her head. "I'm one of his daughters. And could you move away from the door so I can get in, please?"

Amy moved over just enough to allow Roxie to squeeze in. "Which daughter are you?" She asked. "Lucy or Roxanne?"

"_Don't _call me Roxanne!" Roxie said to her. "Only a handful of people in the world are allowed to call me Roxanne and _you_ are not one of them!"

"Well, I guess that answers that question," Amy replied, sitting down. "Did I hit a nerve?"

Roxie just blew a raspberry in Amy's direction. "Why are you even here?" She asked. "What's your point?"

"Astrid sent me here," Amy replied calmly. "She thought it would be good for your father to have someone manage his life since Alistair has decided to move on, and if I do say so myself, I'm doing an admirable job." She paused. "I'm so silly. I completely neglected to ask if I could get you any sort of refreshment. Cookies? Lemonade? Tea?"

"No, thanks," Roxie shook her head. "The only cookies I eat are my mom's. And if you think you're gonna date my dad and replace her, you're sorely mistaken."

"You think I'm here because I want to date...?" Amy looked at Roxie in surprise before bursting into giggles. "Don't you worry," she said finally. "I'm not here to have any sort of designs on your father. But is he looking for someone?" She turned to Klaus. "Are you looking for someone? Why didn't you tell me? It'd be a good place for us to start."

"Actually, you don't need to trouble yourself," Roxie told her. "I'm taking care of finding a date for him."

"Honey," Amy said to Roxie. "How long has your mother been gone? Was her death painful for you? Is that why you're finding it so hard for your father to move on? Your insistence on helping your father is touching, but I think that given your attachment to your mother, your efforts will only sabotage your father's progress instead of helping him get to a better place in his life."

"You think my mom is dead?" Roxie asked. "She's not dead. She lives with my uncle and they have like a million kids."

Amy sucked in her breath and turned to Klaus. "When were you planning on telling me that your wife left you for your brother and they started a whole new family? You have to tell me these things, otherwise, how am I supposed to help you?"

"I didn't tell you because it's not a problem for me anymore!" Klaus cried, running his fingers through his hair. "I've accepted my ex-wife's relationship with my brother. It doesn't upset me at all."

"Really?" Amy asked. "Because keeping these things in instead of just admitting your feelings is bad for you."

Klaus scowled. "I don't know how many times I can say this," he said, getting right up close to Amy's face. "I. Am. Okay. And if you ask me again, I'm going to kill you."

"Well, that seems to be a bit harsh," Amy replied. "Committing murder is not an effective way to handle it when you have a problem with people. Talking to them is better."

"No," Roxie shook her head. "Killing them is better. Especially if they won't shut up."

Klaus burst out laughing at that one. "So true," he said to Roxie. "So true."

Amy ignored this exchange. "I really think we need to address these feelings about your wife," she said. "Where does she live?"

"You've been there," Klaus told her. "And you've met her. She was the one who was going out to the opera with my brother."

Amy's eyes widened. "The opera people were your brother and your ex-wife? I had no idea!"

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "And I wish you still didn't. Look, talking to them is unnecessary. We've already gone over everything a thousand times and talking about it again won't make me feel any better, so just leave it alone."

"Yeah," Roxie nodded. "For once in your life, keep your nose out of other people's business, will you?"

"You're not a happy person, are you?" Amy asked, eying Roxie with pity. "Do you need me to help you too?"

"No," Roxie shook her head. "I most certainly don't. And I'm perfectly happy in my life. The only thing that makes me _unhappy_ is having to deal with stupid, pushy busybodies like yourself. In fact, I don't want to deal with you anymore. I'm gonna go. Bye, Daddy. I hope next time I see you, _she_" Roxie glared at Amy, "won't be there." Then Roxie stomped out, leaving Klaus and Amy alone.

"Maybe you should stay away from her for awhile," Amy suggested. "It would improve your life if you surrounded yourself with happy people, instead of negative people like her."

"She's my daughter," Klaus replied. "I can't just abandon her. That would make me no better than my son."

"Your son?" Amy asked. "You have a son? Is he a bad man too? Wow, this could turn out to be a bigger job than I thought."

"I don't know if you want to go anywhere near my son," Klaus told her with a grin. "He's a bit...anti-witch at the moment and would certainly not be happy to be near you. And even though you irritate me, I wouldn't want to see you dead because you have some delusional belief that you can fix everyone you come across. You can't. Not everyone has to be good and happy and cheerful. Some people should just be allowed to be bad if they want to without interference from holier than thou nags who think they can control everyone. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need a drink. And I'm going to get it at a bar."

"But remember what we said about bars," Amy reminded him.

"I don't think I could forget," Klaus replied. "But now I just don't care. You have a good night, Amy. I know I will."


	3. Needing A Friend

"So please," Vince said to Roxie as the two of them washed out glasses at Enid's after the bar closed down. "Tell me again how much you hate Amy, even though she's never done a bad thing to you. I didn't catch all of it the first _thousand_ times you brought it up."

"Shut up!" Roxie growled and hit him with the dish towel. "I have a legitimate reason to hate her and you're treating it like some big joke!"

"Cause that's all it is!" Vince told her with a grin and took her in his arms. "Most of the time you hate people, it's because of made up reasons in your head, and nothing that is based on actual fact."

"_This_ time I have fact to back it up," Roxie replied. "Dad hates her too! She won't even let him drink!"

"Just because your father has legitimate reasons to dislike her doesn't mean you do," Vince said patiently. "Just what did she say to you when you met her? I remember getting bored and leaving so I missed a lot after the first few minutes."

"She said I wasn't a happy person," Roxie told him. "And I sort of threatened to kill her."

"Gee, how friendly," Vince sighed. "I really would have thought you'd mellowed by now and moved away from always wanting to murder people as a way to solve your problems. Why start again now?"

"Cause she wants to get Dad a girlfriend and she was asking all these questions about Mom that were not her business!" Roxie replied. "That's more than enough reason to start again now!"

"Maybe you should try talking to her again," Vince suggested. "Maybe if it's just you and her away from your dad, it will be easier."

"Oh, no!" Roxie shook her head. "Astrid sent her to deal with Dad's problems. I don't want her sticking her nose into mine too."

"But isn't she a professional at stuff like this? Don't take this the wrong way, but if anyone needs a professional, it's you."

Roxie's jaw dropped. "And just what other way besides the wrong way am I supposed to take that?" She asked. "Should I be grateful to you for insulting me?"

"Don't think of it as an insult," Vince advised. "Think of it as a helpful suggestion."

"Yeah?" Roxie frowned. "Well, you can just take that helpful suggestion and all the others and shove them up your ass!" Growling, she tore off the apron she was wearing and threw it on the floor before striding toward the door of Enid's. "See you when you get home," she said. "I'll tell Enid to give you _all_ the overtime pay."

The door slammed and Vince rolled his eyes. Roxie really _did_ need help from that lady, maybe even more than her father did. He loved her to pieces, even on her bad days, but there was only so much he could do for her by himself.

* * *

"So," Amy said, sitting next to Klaus. "Any more members of your family that I should know about?"

"No, not really," Klaus replied. "What is this compulsion you have to be involved in everyone's business? Astrid sent you to work with me, and though I feel it's entirely unnecessary, it's enough of a job without involving other people too."

"But you never know," Amy replied. "All these messed up people could be part of the reason you're messed up, and thus it would be my job to fix them too, so you have a more positive environment in your life."

Klaus scoffed. "Oh, please," he said. "Don't be ridiculous. You think having a bunch of happy, singing, dancing people around will help me?"

"Yes," Amy nodded. "As a matter of fact, I do. Now, are you _positive_ that there aren't other people in your family I should know about? You're not just lying to me so I'll leave you alone, are you?"

"No, I'm not," Klaus replied.

"Fine," Amy said, even though she figured he was probably lying. "Now, do you have any friends? I think one thing that might cheer you up is being around people."

"I _do_ have a friend," Klaus told her. "But because he's my friend, I wouldn't _dream_ of subjecting him to your presence. And also, he's out of town right now. With my daughter. And I have no idea when they're coming back."

"Your daughter?" Amy asked. "You mean Lucy, right?"

"No," Klaus shook his head. "Felicity. She's someone else entirely. She's not even really my daughter, but my granddaughter. Her father is the crazy son Roxie mentioned before. But he gave her to me to raise because he and her mother were having difficulties. Wouldn't surprise me if they still are, as a matter of fact." He stopped and ran his fingers through his hair. "Why am I telling you all this? Are you making me? Did you put some sort of spell on me that's causing me to pour out all my feelings and air my dirty laundry just because you ask?"

"No," Amy told him. "I'm not. You said you hated being alone. And it can't be easy to have a family as crazy as yours. Maybe you just like having somebody to talk to."

They sat in awkward silence for a few seconds, and Amy cautiously reached out to lay a supporting hand on his back. Then, they both started badly when the door opened and a voice called out, "We're back, Daddy! Whose car is that in the driveway?" Then, Felicity paused when she entered the living room and Stefan bumped into her.

"Damn it, Felicity!" He growled. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry," Felicity said. "I had no idea you were back there. I thought I'd come home alone. Or maybe that's what I was wishing. Why couldn't you have had the decency to miss the plane?"

"You think it was a picnic sitting next to you all that time?" Stefan said. "Let me tell you something: it wasn't. 'Stefan, switch seats with me so I can see out the window', 'Stefan, I can't see the movie, switch seats with me again! 'Oops! I really didn't _mean_ to spill soda all over your new pants, but you can wash them when you get home'. Thanks to you, it looks like I wet myself."

Klaus cleared his throat before Felicity could respond. "Felicity, Stefan, meet Amy."

"Hi!" Felicity greeted first. "Who are you?"

"I'm a friend of your dad's," Amy said. Then she eyed Stefan and smiled, running over to hug him. "And you must be the other friend! It's so great to know I don't have to handle the whole job by myself. It's a lot easier with two people."

Stefan smirked. "I haven't done a threesome since I was out with Hef and twins, but I'm agreeable to it if Klaus is." He gave Felicity a look, as if he expected her to have some sort of reaction to that remark, but she just flipped her hair and strode away.

"I actually wasn't asking for what you think," Amy told him. "I'm trying to help him be a happier person and I thought that since you're his friend, you could help me."

Stefan scoffed. "Good luck with that," he said. "Where did you come from, anyway?"

"Astrid sent me," Amy told him. "Cause she thought Alistair had outlived his purpose, but thought Klaus still needed some help."

"Ah," Stefan nodded. "Isn't that admirable? Well, if you change your mind about the threesome, let me know."

He left and Amy and Klaus looked at each other. "So now you've met my friend," Klaus told her.

"Yes," Amy nodded, looking worried. "Do you really think you should let your daughter around a man like that? It doesn't seem prudent to me."

Klaus laughed. "You're acting as if they're involved with each other. I can assure you they aren't. Otherwise, trust me, I would let him know what I thought about that. And Felicity can defend herself against him. She's been doing it all her life."

"I should hope so," Amy replied. "I wouldn't do anything else around him if I were her."

"Are you planning on working on Stefan too?" Klaus asked, giving her a knowing look.

"I don't know," Amy shook her head. "He might be past caring. Some people just are."

"You mean like me?" Klaus asked hopefully.

"No," Amy shook her head. "With a little positive encouragement, and a lot of work, I think you'll come out just fine."

* * *

"You know, you really _are_ about as subtle as a mack truck," Felicity told Stefan after dumping all her stuff on her bed and striding to his room. "Way to seem desperate by hitting on a woman right in front of me."

"You really think I did that just to get the better of you?" Stefan asked. "_Everything_ is not about you!"

"I never said that," Felicity replied. "But that stupid display in there clearly was!"

"And why are you so worked up about me going after other women?" Stefan asked. "I told you that if we left, that's how it would have to be."

"I know," Felicity nodded. "You just do whatever the hell you want. I don't care. But that could have been Dad's girlfriend out there. What kind of a person hits on his friend's girlfriend?"

"Well, that's not even an issue because she's _not_ his girlfriend," Stefan replied. "Your point is completely moot! Now get out of my room, would you?"

"Fine!" Felicity replied and stomped away. "I'll get out of your stupid room!" She reached her room and slammed the door shut. She lay on the bed for a few minutes, and then her phone started to ring.

"Hello?" She said, turning it on.

"Finally I can reach you!" Addie's voice yelled into Felicity's ear. "Look, I have a message from my mom. Is there a woman named Amy at your house?"

"Dad has a woman here," Felicity confirmed. "But I don't know her name."

"Well, damn," Addie replied. "Mom wants to talk to Grandpa, but she won't do it if that Amy woman is there."

"Well, how about you get your mom on the phone and I'll just give my phone to Dad, so your mom can say whatever she wants?" Felicity suggested.

"All right," Addie nodded. "But just a question, though. Where have you been? Laura's not been much fun to talk to, just moping about how her dad made Edward go away, so that leaves you to give me the bulk of my conversation and you've been gone!"

"I've been in New Orleans, learning about my real parents," Felicity told her. "That was a giant mistake. I won't be going back _there_ again."

"Wait," Addie said. "Hold on a minute. Your real parents? You mean Grandma and Grandpa aren't...?"

"No," Felicity shook her head. "My dad's name's Adrian. My mom's name is Helene. And they're big messes, both of them."

"You met them?" Addie asked, sounding awed. "I wish I could! Mom really likes Helene, even though she turned her into a goat once, and she also says that Adrian's the one person in her whole family who didn't drive her insane. But, because of one reason or another, I've not actually met them. And since they're my aunt and Uncle, I think I should. You think you could convince my mom?"

"No," Felicity said. "Trust me, you'd live a much happier life staying away from both of them. I swear, I know what I'm talking about." She paused. "Look, go get your mom and I'll give the phone to my dad, so they can talk, all right?"

A few seconds later, Roxie came on the other line. "I'm here," she said. "Thanks so much for doing this for me, honey."

"You're welcome," Felicity replied. She went out and handed the phone to Klaus. "Someone for you," she told him.

"On your phone?" Klaus asked in surprise.

Felicity gave Amy a look. "Just answer it," she told Klaus. "I can't tell you more than that."

"Oh, all right," Klaus replied. "Thanks for the message. And I'm glad you're home."

"Believe me," Felicity replied, "me too."


	4. A New Orleans Massacre

Amy was sitting alone in her room a few mornings later when she heard a knock at the door. "Come in," she called after a few seconds. To her surprise, Klaus opened the door and came inside.

"Hey," she said. "Is everything all right with you and Felicity?"

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "For the moment anyway. And that's why I wanted to-to apologize for speaking so gruffly before. I suppose you meant well and only wanted to help, and I can't really fault you for that."

Amy nodded. "Well, thank you," she said. "That's very kind of you."

"Yes, well," Klaus cleared his throat. "Let's not make a big deal about it, all right?"

Amy nodded. "I wasn't planning to. Now, what do you suggest we do next? Find someone for you?"

"Roxie is doing that," Klaus told her. "But I'm sure you won't have trouble finding yourself a project."

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I guess I will." She paused. "Are you going to be around the house today, or do you have things to do elsewhere?"

Klaus shrugged. "I don't know. I'll probably leave. Will you be all right here yourself?"

"Yes," Amy nodded. "Of course."

Klaus inclined his head and left Amy alone. After a bit, she got up and left the room to go do a crossword puzzle, but her concentration was interrupted when the phone rang.

"Hello?" Amy greeted. "If you're looking for Klaus, he's not here at the moment."

"Amy?" Astrid replied. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me," Amy replied. "What's going on, Astrid?"

"Bad news, I'm afraid," Astrid told her. "There's an uprising going on in New Orleans."

"How is that bad?" Amy asked. "We should all be glad that our fellow witches and warlocks finaly found it in themselves to rise up against the oppressors!"

"Yes, well," Astrid cleared her throat, "Adrian found out about one of the first plots against him and that led to the deaths of several people. It started out with only four, but then several more died from injuries."

"Well, do we know who all is dead?" Amy asked. "I know I have relatives down there. I hope it's not any of them."

"Well, we don't know at this point," Astrid told her. "I've decided not to announce the names of the dead until we've found as many as we can."

Amy sighed. "Do you know-do you know who gave the plan away? Please tell me it wasn't one of us!"

"This is where it gets difficult for me," Astrid told her. "According to my daughter Helene, her daughter Lenora was the one who tipped Adrian off."

"Well, then punish her!" Amy said. "It doesn't matter if she's your granddaughter or not! She should be subject to the same consequences as anyone else! You know better than anyone what the punishment is for people who betray our kind! Your family was subjected to it for three hundred years because of what your ancestress did to save herself during the Salem witch trials!"

Astrid sighed. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but what happened with my ancestress and what Lenora has done cannot be considered the same thing. Hester ratted out the other witches and had the affair with the town governer to save her own neck. Lenora told Adrian about the plan to save her father. She wasn't being selfish. There's a difference there, Amy."

Amy's jaw dropped a little. "So you're just gonna let her go and not punish her at all?"

"What kind of person would I be if I punished Lenora for saving her father?" Astrid asked. "Even though Adrian has acted questionably for the last several years, he wasn't always that way, and Lenora's got memories of him when he was a good man. She had the right to try and save him. "

"But what about all the witches who were killed?" Amy asked. "Don't they deserve some sort of justice?"

"Yes," Astrid replied patiently. "They do. But they won't get it from Lenora being punished and that's final. Now, when Klaus gets home, tell him I'd like to speak with him, would you?"

"Fine," Amy said through her teeth. "I promise."

She ended the call and threw the phone down, breathing hard. Then, letting out a growl, she brought her arm down so hard, it made a hole in one of the living room walls, which Klaus immediately noticed when he returned home.

"May I ask why you made a hole in my wall?" Klaus asked.

"May I ask why_ you _raised a son who's such an asshole?" Amy replied. "Thanks to him, New Orleans is now full of a bunch of dead witches! What do you have to say about that?"

"Adrian is a grown man who makes his own decisions and I see no reason why I should be held responsible for his behavior," Klaus replied calmly. "If you want to throw blame around, you'll have to find someone else."

Amy just gave him a long look, shook her head, and then slapped him hard before he could move. Afterward, he eyed her, stunned. "What was _that_ for?" He asked.

"It was to make me feel better," she said. "Lucky for you, it worked for the moment, or else I would have had to do it again."

Before Klaus could respond to that, she strode away.

She refused to come near him for the rest of the day, and that's why Klaus was relieved as well as surprised when the doorbell rang that night and he opened the door to find his younger daughter Lucy on the doorstep.

"Hello," Klaus told her. "Come in! What brings you here?"

Lucy shrugged. "I'd just thought I'd come and visit, see how you were doing, because I've been remiss about that lately."

"Did Roxanne call to brag about her latest task to find me a new girlfriend?" Klaus asked. "I thought she would."

"As a matter of fact, yes," Lucy nodded. "She did mention it. And if it wouldn't bother you too much, I thought I might add some choices of my own into the hunt as well."

"Sure," Klaus nodded. "Why not?"

"Anything else interesting going on?" Lucy asked. "How's Felicity?"

"She's fine, I think," Klaus replied. "She and Stefan are back from New Orleans now and just in the nick of time, it seems, considering what your brother has gone and done."

"What did he do?" Lucy asked. "Something bad, I take it?"

Klaus nodded. "He decided to kill a bunch of witches," he said.

"Why would Adrian go and do a stupid thing like that?" Lucy asked. "He knows it's not right."

"I highly doubt your brother cares about morals as much as he used to these days," Klaus replied dryly.

"Even so," Lucy replied, "that shouldn't matter. There's no excuse for him to go and kill a bunch of innocent people. None!" She paused. "Where's your phone? I'm gonna call him right now!"

"Why use my phone?" Klaus asked.

"He might be more willing to talk to me if he believes it's you on the other end of the line," Lucy said. "So...phone?"

Klaus pointed toward the kitchen. "In there," he said. "But I don't know how much luck you'll have."

"I don't either," Lucy replied. "But I have to at least try to talk some sense into my brother, don't I?"

"You could try," Klaus agreed. "But if you talk to your uncle Elijah, he can tell you so many stories about all the times he's tried to reform _me_, and it hasn't worked, so I wish you luck."

* * *

"I really want to thank you," Adrian told Lenora. "I realize that you have no real reason to protect me from death, yet you did anyway. You're a better daughter than I am a father."

"She certainly is," James told him, eyes narrowed. "She could be risking jail and worse for you. I hope you realize that."

Adrian just gave him a look. "Remind me who you are again?" He requested.

"This is James," Lenora replied. "He's my husband and in magical law enforcement."

"Your husband?" Adrian asked in surprise. "When did I miss the wedding? Since he's a warlock, your mother probably knew about it and did her best to keep me from finding out."

"Actually," Lenora corrected, "We're technically not married in the actual sense of the word. But we figure since we live together and have kids and don't want to be with anyone else, that's close enough."

Adrian nodded. "Fine," he said. Just then, the house shifted and Lenora started like a frightened deer.

"What's the matter?" Adrian asked.

"I just...I thought it was people coming for me," Lenora told him. "I just wish someone would come and arrest me already. I hate the suspense!"

"You said he was magical law enforcement," Adrian replied, looking at James. "Why doesn't _he_ just arrest you?"

"Because based on your relationship to each other and her reasons for telling you about the plan that led to your murdering the witches, we're not exactly sure she's even committed a crime," James replied. "We're waiting for Astrid's decision, which is a lot slower to come than we thought it would be."

"Why _did_ you save me?" Adrian asked Lenora. "Wouldn't it have been easier just to let them kill me? That would be one trouble out of your life."

Lenora sighed. "We had eight good years, Daddy," she told him. "And if possible, if some day, you're able to get over your hatred of witches and stop being angry, I'd like to try and bring the good times back. That can't happen if you're dead, can it?"

"No," Adrian shook his head. "I guess not."

Just then, Adrian's phone rang. "Hello?" He asked.

"Adrian, how could you?" Lucy shouted into the phone. "You _know_ killing people isn't right. Do you remember a single thing Uncle Elijah taught you when you were a kid?"

"Relax, Lucy," Adrian said when she calmed down and he could finally put the phone back against his ear. "I had a good reason for killing those people."

"'Just for fun' is not a good reason," Lucy told him. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

"I never said it was just for fun!" Adrian shot back. "Lucy, the people I killed...if I hadn't killed them, they would have killed me first. It was only because Lenora told me about it before hand that I was able to save myself. Even Uncle Elijah has nothing against defending yourself if you're the target of murder. I'm pretty sure about that."

"Lenora told you?" Lucy said, her heart sinking.

"Yeah," Adrian replied. "She did." At that moment, the doorbell rang and Lenora let out a shriek and bolted. James went to answer the door and Astrid strode in.

"Gotta go, Lucy," Adrian told her. "Company is coming." He hung up just as Astrid strode in.

"Where's Lenora?" She asked.

"Hiding from you," Adrian said dryly. "She's terrified of what she believes you've come to do."

"_She_ is not the one who is in trouble," Astrid told him severely. "It's you who has a lot of deaths to make up for. I'm not punishing your daughter for your mistakes."

"I didn't just decide to kill everyone for fun," Adrian told Astrid. "The people who died, as you probably know, were plotting to kill me. It was self defense. Ask your daughter. She was in on the whole thing."

"Is that so?" Astrid asked.

"Yes," Adrian nodded and looked at James. "Lenora says he's law enforcement. He just might be arresting Helene next."

* * *

"Adrian?" Lucy cried as the line went dead. "Adrian, don't you hang up on me! I'm not done with you!" She growled and turned off the phone when she got no answer.

"What did he say?" Klaus asked.

Lucy sighed. "He said what he did was self-defense and that if he hadn't killed the witches, then they would have killed him first. Essentially that what Lenora did saved his life."

Just then, Amy came into the house again after a period of self-reflection.

"Well, look who's back!" Klaus said. "Feeling better?"

"No," Amy shook her head. "Not while that monster you call a son gets away with murdering innocent people."

"According to him, they weren't exactly innocent," Lucy told her. "Apparently, if he hadn't killed them, they would have killed him. He says he was just defending himself."

"Who are you?" Amy asked her.

"I'm Lucy," Lucy replied. "And who are you?"

"Amy," Amy replied. "Astrid sent me to help Klaus out because Alistair was taken out of his service." She paused. "You're his other daughter, aren't you?"

"Yes," Lucy nodded. "The not crazy one."

"And yet you're perfectly okay with Adrian killing witches," Amy sighed. "Typical vampire behavior, isn't it? Any number of witches can die as long as you get what you want."

"No," Lucy shook her head. "Any number of witches can die if it prevents them from hurting my brother. And don't act so high and mighty. I'm sure that if witches needed to kill vampires for some reason, they wouldn't think twice about it. Everyone has the right to fight for their own survival and sometimes, people die as a side effect. I'm sorry if you experienced any losses, though."

"I don't know for sure if I have yet, but it's possible," Amy replied. "Astrid said she wasn't gonna release the names of the dead until they got out all the bodies they could." Then her lip twitched and she started to cry. Lucy put her arms around her. "It's gonna be okay," she said. "Hopefully one day my brother will grow up and have the sense to leave New Orleans so that the killing can stop. I think that would be best for everyone."

Amy cried into Lucy's shoulder for a bit, and then she looked at Klaus, her face tear-stained. "Talk to your son," she said. "Please. Make sure he won't kill anymore. Would you do that for me?"


	5. Two People, One Room

Bright and early the next day, Klaus and Amy were in the private jet en route to New Orleans. "Are you nervous?" Amy asked him. "How long has it been since you've actually seen your son?"

"Not since he left," Klaus told her. "He's a grown man and capable of making his own decisions. What does he need me for?"

"It's that attitude that most likely turned him into a psychopath who's intent on murdering people!" Amy chided. "You probably could have afforded to be in his life more than you were. This murdering could be a cry for the attention you don't give him."

"Oh, please!" Klaus burst out laughing. "Don't be ridiculous. Adrian's not soft like that. A hug won't solve everything. To tell you the truth, I'm more worried about leaving Felicity home alone than I am Adrian."

"But she wasn't alone!" Amy said. "That friend of yours was with her!"

"Yes, exactly," Klaus nodded. "That's my point. No matter how much they try and hide it, I think there's something going on between them."

"You could be right," Amy agreed. "When we left, he was in her room with the door open and she was yelling that if you caught her, you'd send her to a boarding school or a nunnery. Then I think she pushed your friend on the floor. The noise was loud enough. Are you worried?"

"No," Klaus replied. "Stefan knows what would happen to him if he tried to go after Felicity without going through the proper procedure first. He's my friend, but that doesn't give him license to put his hands all over my granddaughter."

Amy nodded and then looked out the window. Neither of them spoke again until they reached New Orleans, where a big mess awaited them, starting when they reached the hotel.

"Are you seriously telling me this is the only room left in the entire city?" Amy asked the concierge when they found themselves standing in the honeymoon suite.

"There's been destruction everywhere," the concierge replied. "Lots of people are without homes. They've had to put themselves up in hotel rooms instead. That's why everywhere else is full. I don't know what else to tell you."

"Oh, it's all right," Klaus told him. "You go along and we'll make do."

Eying the pair uncertainly, the concierge left, leaving Klaus and Amy alone. "Well, isn't this room nice?" Klaus asked as he looked around.

"It'd be a lot nicer if I knew I had a room of my own to go to," Amy said.

"What's the matter?" Klaus asked with a smirk. "Why don't you want to share a room with me? Are you _scared_?

"No," Amy shook her head. "I'm not scared. I just don't think it's a good idea for us to share a room. I mean, we barely know each other!"

"I saw a restaurant downstairs," Klaus said. "Why don't we go there, I'll get you coffee, and we'll talk?"

Amy frowned. "I can't believe you're trying to ask me out on a date when the apocalypse is raging on outside!"

"Who said anything about it being a date?" Klaus asked. "We're just two people having coffee. Hell, you can even pay if it will make you feel better."

Amy considered. "All right," she said. "But when we come back, we're gonna set up things so you can sleep comfortably on the floor."

"Why do_ I _have to sleep on the floor?" Klaus asked.

"Because it's gentlemanly, that's why!" Amy replied. "Whoever pays, the other one has to sleep on the floor. So what do you say?" She stuck out her hand.

Klaus looked at her for a moment before taking her hand to shake it. "All right," he said.

They went and got coffee, then sat at a table in the corner of the packed restaurant. "So," Amy said. "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

Klaus shrugged. "You said we didn't know each other that well, so what exactly do you want to know?"

Amy thought a moment and then said, "Was your son always this bad? Killing people and everything?"

"Actually, he wasn't," Klaus replied. "When he was younger, he spent a lot of time under the watchful eye of his mother and my very moral brother and they stopped him from getting in touch with _too_ many of his dark impulses. He was a little unpredictable and precocious, but that was as bad as he got."

"Why couldn't he have stayed that way?" Amy asked. "What could have made him go from being a mostly moral, nice individual to a wanton killer?"

"I believe it was marriage," Klaus replied. "He loved his girlfriend, who was a witch, but she was a bit pushy. Adrian never really fought back against her because he nearly killed her a couple of times when they were teenagers and that softened him up to an intolerable degree. He repressed all the anger she made him feel until finally, she got pregnant without consulting him first, and demanded they keep the baby, and that was the last straw. He left right after he heard the news. He didn't fancy growing up in a house with three witches who were just going to gang up on him."

"So he just abandoned his children?" Amy asked, looking horrified. "Why didn't you tell him to suck it up?"

"I think, in his own way, he cared about the baby," Klaus replied, his voice soft. "He brought her to me once she showed signs of her powers. He said that was the only way she'd be able to discover both sides of herself. And when he first brought Felicity to me, I _thought_ of giving her back and telling him to acknowledge his responsibilities, but..." He trailed off.

"But?" Amy asked.

"But when I saw her, I just...I didn't want to give her back," Klaus finished simply. "The second he gave her to me, it felt right and I had no intention of giving her back."

"Wait," Amy put up a hand. "Felicity? The girl who was fighting with Stefan? She's Adrian's child? I don't believe it!"

"Believe it," Klaus said. "Adrian's mother helped me raise her for a little while while my brother was otherwise occupied, but now it's mostly just Lissy and me."

"So she made you better, didn't she?" Amy asked. "She made you a better person?"

"I suppose," Klaus nodded. "But don't you go thinking I've completely softened. That will never happen. The idea repulses me."

"Of course it does," Amy said with a knowing look.

Then they got their coffees. "Your turn," Klaus told her after he took a sip. "What about yourself? How did you get into your line of work? Troubled home life you wanted to rise above?"

"No," Amy shook her head. "My family was very well off, actually. Very lazy. They couldn't keep their lives together if they tried. My father left my mother and married three more times afterward, and and my mother dealt with it by drinking. I was the oldest and despite the fact that my mother wanted nothing more than to live her life in a state of drunken idleness, I coaxed her out of it. I got her to see a doctor, and eventually she got better and began doing useful things with herself. As I got older, I figured that since I had such a success with her, maybe I could do the same for other people and that's what I've done all my life. Apparently, lots of people think I'm good at it."

"Astrid certainly does, and I actually trust her judgment," Klaus replied.

"Oh, I'm touched," Amy told him. They paused to drink their coffees and when they were done, went back to their room. Amy pulled the covers of the bed aside and lay down in it. "This will be comfy," she said. She lay there for a bit and sat up. "Are you going to go look for your son today?"

"No," Klaus shook his head. "I think I'll wait until tomorrow. The meeting is going to take some preparation on my part. I'll probably have to think up a bunch of angry, moral garbage to spout and that's not my best thing."

"I'm sure you'll be able to work something out," Amy told him. "And if you can't on your own, then I'll help you in the morning before you leave."

Klaus looked out the window. "It's hours until nightfall. Would you like to look around the city with me?"

"Do I want to go outside and see the city your son is destroying?" Amy asked, wrinkling her nose. "No, thank you."

"All right," Klaus shrugged. "Suit yourself."

He returned just after ten and found Amy sitting on the bed and reading. "So," she said when she saw him. "How bad was it?"

"Around here nothing looks too awful, but you know Adrian's made an impact. People saw me and ran the other way. Or maybe I still have some clout around here. Who knows?" Klaus noticed a stack of blankets and a pillow on the sofa. "I guess those are for me," he said.

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I got them from housekeeping." She finished the chapter in her book and put it on the bedside table before letting out a big yawn. "I don't know about you," she said. "But I'm ready to go to bed. Especially considering what we have to do while we're here." She peered at him as he arranged his blankets on the sofa. "Are _you_ gonna go to bed?" She asked.

"Probably," Klaus nodded. "But first, I think I should check on Felicity."

"Do you think she'll be up?" Amy asked. "It's kind of late."

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "I bet she'll be up."

* * *

Stefan and Felicity staggered in after a long night at a bar and he pushed her against the wall, kissing her hard. "You know," she breathed, "This is so much easier now that my dad's gone. We don't have to worry about him interrupting us or anything!"

Stefan paused kissing her for a moment and gave her a look. "Don't talk about him then," he said. "It wrecks everything." He kissed her again and then carried her off to bed, where, soon enough, they were both rolling around naked on the mattress until they were interrupted by the ringing phone.

"Damn," Felicity swore. "That better not be my dad."

"I bet it is," Stefan told her. "He's probably calling to make sure his little princess is okay." The nickname made Stefan chuckle and Felicity hit him with a pillow. She didn't move, hoping the ringing would just stop, but it kept going. Finally, Felicity put on a robe and answered it. "Hello?" She asked, trying to sound tired.

"Felicity, pet, what took you so long to answer the phone?" Klaus asked. "You had me worried there for awhile."

"I was asleep," Felicity lied. "You woke me up. It took me forever to realize the phone was even ringing."

"Well, I'm sorry," Klaus told her. "I hope you're not too lonely home by yourself?"

"No," Felicity shook her head. "Not lonely at all."

"And Stefan's staying at his brother's, isn't he?" Klaus continued. "He's not at the house with you?"

"No matter what I say, will you think I'm lying?" Felicity asked.

"Not if you don't give me a reason to think you're lying," Klaus asked. "Are you?"

"No," Felicity told him. "It's just me, all here by my lonesome."

"All right," Klaus nodded. "Goodbye, darling. I apologize for waking you."

"Goodnight, Daddy," Felicity replied and got out one last yawn before she hung up.

"So," Stefan told her as he came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. "Were you able to pull the wool over daddy's eyes yet again?"

"Yeah," Felicity nodded and turned around to kiss him. "I think so. Now what do you say to going back to bed?"

* * *

"She's lying to me," Klaus said as he hung up.

"Felicity is?" Amy asked as she wiped off her make up. "Why would she lie to you?"

"Because she's a teenager with hormones and teenagers with hormones lie to get what they want," Klaus replied grumpily. "When we get home, the first thing I'm gonna do is kill Stefan. He's ruined her. It's his fault she's lying to me now."

"Oh, lighten up," Amy said. "You're saying all this stuff out of anger that you don't really mean. Once you get some sleep you'll be fine."

"And just how long will it be till I'm able to get to sleep?" Klaus asked. "It shouldn't take you as long as it has to get ready. You're a witch. You have magic. It should have taken you two seconds!"

"I know," Amy nodded as she rolled curlers in her hair. "It would, but I like taking time to do my bathroom routine. I think it's relaxing."

"Well, hurry up!" Klaus shouted.

"I'll be done when I'm done," Amy told him. "Patience is a virtue."

Klaus growled. and pushed his face against the pillow so he couldn't see any light. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he heard the bathroom door close and the light switch off. When he looked up from the pillow, he found himself in total darkness. "It's about time," he whispered grumpily to Amy.

"Goodnight to you too," she whispered back.


	6. Ready To Face Reality

Klaus woke up on his own the next morning, which was something that surprised him. He'd thought Amy would have woken him up first and been raring to go. But she wasn't. He got off the sofa and went to have a look at her. She was still sound asleep and tucked in tightly. As he watched in surprise, she rose up from the bed and levitated there for a few seconds. Finally, he decided to break the silence. "Amy?" He called. "Amy!"

"What?" She asked, her voice sleepy. She opened her eyes and looked down, letting out a little shriek as she felt herself fall. Klaus reached out and grabbed her before she landed on the bed.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," Amy said. "I was gonna land on the mattress."

"Well, what if you hadn't and broke something instead?" Klaus asked. "Then you'd be no good to me. Now get up. You know what we have to do today."

"I'm not looking forward to it," Amy told him. "And why do I have to come with you? He's *your* son. I'm not his mother. You deal with him."

"I thought you said your greatest joy in life was helping troubled people," Klaus replied. "No one is more troubled than my son, so get up."

Amy looked at him for a long moment and then sighed. "Fine," she said. "I'll get up, but I'm coming with you under protest."

Klaus grinned. "Now you know how I feel every day."

"I don't know if you really want me near your son," Amy told Klaus as they made their to Adrian's house. "If I see him, I just might punch him until he's dead."

"Wow," Klaus said in surprise. "This is a side of you that I never imagined existed."

"I don't *like* to be angry and hurt people," Amy replied. "But sometimes, things just..." She growled. "Are your other two children as terrible as your son?"

"Roxie and Lucy?" Klaus asked. "Roxie has her dark moments, but Vince mostly keeps her in line and Lucy...she wasn't raised by me at all, so she's immune from my bad influences."

"Well, thank goodness _someone _was," Amy replied. "I'm getting dressed and you should too, so we can get this over with as soon as possible."

* * *

Klaus and Amy were walking around downtown, with Amy shaking her head at all the destruction. "This is what your son did," she said, clicking her tongue. "I hope you're proud."

"Well, you'll probably hate me for saying this," Klaus told her, "No, I KNOW you'll hate me for saying this, but I admire him just a little for defending himself." As Amy looked at him with a dropped jaw and wide eyes, he said, "Adrian has every right to defend himself, just as the witches do. Now, I'm sorry if Adrian's actions made you lose friends, but I'm not gonna tell my son he was wrong."

Amy just shook her head. "I thought you wouldn't," she said. "I guess that task falls to me."

After having to ask several people, they finally got Adrian's address out of one of them. Klaus and Amy went there and Amy knocked repeatedly on the door. When Adrian opened it, his eyes went immediately to Klaus. "Dad?" He asked. "What brings you here?"

"Go ahead, Amy," Klaus sighed. "Unburden yourself."

"You better believe I will!" Amy nodded, her mouth set. She pushed Adrian into the house. "You should be ashamed of yourself for killing a bunch of innocent people!" She cried. "Here's a taste of your own medicine!" She zapped him with brain pain and as he rolled around on the floor clutching his head, Klaus said dryly, "You could have at least said 'Hello' first."

Amy scowled at him and he quickly backed off and let Amy continue to vent her frustrations on Adrian. When she was finished and he was allowed to stand up, he just glared at his father. "Thanks for nothing," he replied.

"You started this," Klaus told him. "And you have to accept the consequences."

Adrian shook his head. "The witches _do_ realize that it was magic-happy injuring from Helene that made me hate witches in the first place, right? If they would just use words instead of going straight to injuring, I'd be more amenable to any request they make."

"How can you expect us to be nice to you when you killed people of our kind? Maybe if _you_ would use words instead of murdering, then maybe we wouldn't use our magic to hurt you and talk to you instead," Amy replied. "Did you ever talk to Helene about the things that she was doing that made you unhappy?"

"Well, no," Adrian admitted. "Not really."

"See, and there's your problem," Amy replied, getting down on her knees next to him because he still hadn't gotten up from the floor. "You have a voice and if you're unhappy about something someone does, it's okay to speak up and say so. You don't always have to hurt people to make a point."

"Oh, that's rich," Adrian scoffed. "So I just should have strolled into that shop full of witches that were trying to kill me and said, 'Excuse me. I'm unhappy that you're trying to kill me. Could you stop it, please?' Do you honestly think they would have listened to that?"

"Well, no," Amy sighed. "Maybe not. But there _had_ to have been a better way to handle it, even if I can't think of one at the moment."

"Because there _isn't_ one!" Adrian told her. "Haven't you ever heard of the idea of 'kill or be killed'? If I hadn't killed them, they would have killed me. And the innocents who died, I didn't mean for them to. They were collateral damage. It was nothing personal."

"Maybe it wasn't personal for you," Amy told him. "But for the people who lost a family member, it sure was." She crossed her arms and looked away from him.

Adrian sighed and threw up his arms. "I give up," he said. "Clearly you don't like me, and that's okay, but there's only so many times I can apologize before I stop caring."

"You haven't even apologized _once_," Amy replied.

"Where did you find her?" Adrian asked his father as he left. "And can you send her back? I don't like her."

"Well, the feeling is mutual!" Amy yelled at his retreating back and blew a raspberry.

* * *

"So where exactly did Dad go?" Lucy asked Roxie.

"He and that Amy woman he lives with went to New Orleans to scold Adrian for all the trouble he's causing," Roxie replied. "Oh, how I wish I could be there to see it."

"It's perfect that he's gone," Lucy replied. "That gives us time to focus on the mission at hand without being interrupted."

"You mean the 'getting a girlfriend for Dad' thing, right?" Roxie asked.

"What other reason would there be for us to work together?" Lucy replied, pulling a piece of paper out of her purse. "Here's the list I came up with. Names along with occupations."

Roxie took the list and looked it over. "Librarian? School teacher? Doctor? Where the hell do you find these people? Dad will never fall for any of them. He needs someone exciting and edgy and gutsy."

"Just because someone works as a librarian instead of at a bar doesn't mean they don't have the potential to be gutsy," Lucy said. "May I remind you that between the two of us, _I_ was the one who was bad enough to be captured and nearly killed by Mikael while you have not been?"

"Oh, yes," Roxie nodded. "Giving Uncle Elijah a heart attack because he had to nearly watch his favorite niece get killed is really something to be proud of."

"I'm just saying," Lucy replied. "You don't have to be a motorcycle riding bartender like yourself to be cool." She paused. "Did you make up a possible list of girlfriend candidates for Dad, or are you just gonna bring him here and point out random people who are sitting around?"

"No," Roxie's mouth twisted. "I have a list, you smartass." She handed Lucy her list and Lucy looked at it in surprise. "Wow," she remarked. "There are actually _names_ on here! I thought it would just say 'Mom' in big letters."

"I've accepted the fact that she and Uncle Elijah are happy now and that it is perfectly okay to find someone else for Dad," Roxie replied. Just then, however, a very drunk man stumbled into the bar and sat down on a barstool. "Beer please," he said.

"Are you sure?" Roxie asked. "You look like you've had enough."

The man's face was covered in beard, but eventually Lucy recognized him. "Oh, my god!" She cried as he turned to face her. "Uncle Elijah, what's happened? Where's Mom?"

"She's gone," Elijah said. "She doesn't want me anymore. She left me for my friend who's an agent and he's getting her a cooking show and a cookbook series and I'm never gonna see her again!" And with that, he began hitting the bar repeatedly until Roxie finally gave him the drink he wanted. Then Lucy held onto him as he stood up. "I don't think you should leave here in the state you're in," she said. "Let's get you a room here until you're sober and we'll deal with this then, all right?" Elijah nodded and let her guide him up the stairs. When she came back down, she looked at her sister. "What were you saying?" She asked Roxie.

"I was saying that it's about time I accepted that Mom moved on, but given the state Uncle Elijah's in, maybe the two of them are having a fight," Roxie replied. "Maybe we don't need to go so far to get Dad a girlfriend after all!"

Lucy groaned. "We were so close!" She said to herself. "Just when Roxie admits it's time for her to face reality, fantasy comes calling again."


	7. Where's The Party?

"I know I misbehaved with your son," Amy told Klaus. "But he just made me so angry!"

"I know," Klaus nodded. "You made that very clear. And by the way, if you hadn't done what you did, I probably would have done it."

"But he's your son!" Amy exclaimed, looking shocked.

"He is," Klaus nodded. "But he's not supposed to be acting like this."

"Interesting that you don't condone his behavior," Amy said. "There might be hope for you after all."

"What I mean is that behaving like he is is second nature for me. I've always been like that. But for Adrian, this is more of a tantrum than a lifelong behavior choice. He felt grievously wronged by a witch. Is it excusable then for him to want to doom all witch-kind? No. But the witch he was married to put him through a lot," Klaus clarified.

"Which he could have easily avoided if he'd just tried," Amy replied. "It's his fault too. Don't coddle him."

"Have you ever met the witch he was married to?" Klaus asked. "She's just a vampire now, but whatever she is, she's a real piece of work."

"Do you honestly think taking me to meet the woman that supposedly bullied your murdering son into submission is gonna make me feel sorry for him?" Amy asked Klaus.

"Do you even have a sympathetic bone in your body?" Klaus asked. "It's all 'hate, hate, hate' with you, isn't it?"

"Well, when it comes to someone who is killing my people, yes!" Amy nodded.

"And here I thought your sole purpose was to be cheerful and make my life better," Klaus said. "I guess I was wrong about that."

"Maybe this place is having a bad effect on me," Amy said through her teeth. "Maybe we should go now that we've talked to your son."

"No," Klaus shook his head. "You wanted to come and now you have to put up with the consequences. Besides, why should we go home now when we could stay and get the most use we can out of that lovely room we're staying in?"

"Are you saying that you plan to seduce me?" Amy asked. "Is that plan in your head?"

"Not intentionally," Klaus told her. "But if at some point, you find me irresistible and want to come to bed with me, I won't say 'no'."

"I would like to believe that I have more self control than that," Amy told him, "but if it helps your ego to think of the possibility of my getting in bed with you, that's not something I can stop, is it?"

"No," Klaus shook his head with a grin. "And thanks for being such a good sport about it."

* * *

"So," Vince said to Roxie, "your birthday is in a few days. Are you excited?"

"Maybe?" Roxie asked. "What are you getting me for presents?"

Vince grinned. "That, my dear, is a surprise you will have to wait to see. Be patient."

Roxie scowled. "You know I hate it when you say that. Is it some sort of code to tell me you haven't gotten me presents at all and are waiting until the last minute?"

"Of course not!" Vince told her. "Why would I forget your birthday, huh? Have I _ever_ forgotten your birthday?"

"Well, no," Roxie shook her head. "But there's always a first time for everything."

Vince put his arms around her and kissed her hair. "No, there's not," he told her. "At least not _this _time." He then left and gave Selina a call.

"Could you help me with something for Roxie's birthday?" He asked her. "Do you mind?"

"It's her birthday?" Selina asked. "I had no idea!"

"I totally understand the sarcasm," Vince replied. "She's never quiet about something that will get her a lot of attention."

"I wasn't being sarcastic," Selina told him. "I really had no idea. Bad memory. Sad run in with Elijah's father. He took away everything in my brain related to Elijah or his family. But I'm learning to operate in spite of that."

"Oh," Vince felt himself flush a little. "Sorry," he said. "I forgot about that. Remember, Roxie is your oldest daughter with Klaus, and I'm her husband, Vince."

"All right," Selina said. "And when's her birthday?"

"Three days from now," Vince replied. "I know you're busy and this is kind of short notice, but would you make her a cake?"

"What kind does she like?" Selina asked, taking out a pen and paper. "Chocolate? Vanilla? Both?"

"Let's try Devil's Food cake this year," Vince replied. "If you remembered her, you'd think it was a funny joke."

"Why?" Selina asked. "Is she a problem? She seemed nice enough when I talked to her."

"Let's just say she's got more of her father in her than you, and leave it at that," Vince replied. "Not that she's without charm. So, do you think you can make the cake and bring it here in three days?"

"Sure," Selina nodded. "I think I can do it. I'll see you then."

* * *

Despite Vince's solid vow to be around for Roxie's birthday, the morning of, he got a call that he knew wouldn't make Roxie happy, but he had to take it anyway. After he hung up, he went to tell her, just to get the tantrum out of the way as soon as possible.

"You know how I said I was gonna be around for your birthday?" He told her, edging cautiously toward her.

"Yeah," Roxie nodded. "What about it? You're not backing out now, are you? My birthday is very important to me! You can't skip out the day of! You better have a damn good reason!"

"I do," Vince cleared his throat. "But you're not gonna like that, either. And I promise I will make it up to you. I swear!"

"Just tell me what is so important that it's making you have to skip out on my birthday," Roxie said through her teeth.

"My sister Tessa called," he said. "She's having an operation, she has to stay overnight, and she doesn't have anyone to be with her. I had to volunteer. She's my _sister_!"

"Can't you ask her to move the surgery to another day?" Roxie asked. "Why did it have to be today? Tessa always ruins everything!"

"Oh, yeah," Vince nodded. "I'm sure she purposefully put her surgery on your birthday just to make you miserable."

"I wouldn't put it past her," Roxie said. "She's always getting in everybody's way."

Vince sighed. "I know you're not happy," he told her. "I know you don't like Tessa, and I know that I promised to spend your birthday with you, but Tessa...Tessa, she's my-"

"Before you say 'family'," Roxie interrupted, "don't forget that Joey, Addie and I are your family too, yet you're perfectly content to go gallivanting off and leave me all alone."

"You're _all_ my family," Vince said firmly. "And sometimes, since there's only one of me and a bunch of you, you have to learn how to share. I'm not gonna deny the timing of Tessa's surgery is unfortunate, but I promise I'll make it up to you, okay?"

Roxie sighed, her eyes narrowed. "Fine," she huffed. "Go and see your stupid sister. I hope she dies on the operating table."

"I'll be home before tomorrow," Vince told her firmly, ignoring her comment. "I promise. Even if she begs me to stay, once she's out of surgery and in the hands of the doctors, I'll come right back here."

"I get it," Roxie told him. "You don't have to keep telling me. You can just go."

Vince nodded and left just as Selina was arriving with the cake. "Where are you going?" She asked.

"I have to be with my sister who's having surgery. I didn't mean to leave Roxie on her birthday, but it's kind of an emergency."

"Oh," Selina nodded. "Could you grab the door before you go?"

"Sure," Vince nodded and grabbed the handle. "Here," he replied, pulling the door back so Selina was able to get in. Once it was closed, Selina approached Roxie, who was lying in a heap on the sofa.

"Sorry Vince had to leave," Selina told her. "But I brought your cake. Do you want a piece?"

"Sure, why not?" Roxie replied, sitting up. "What flavor is it?"

"Chocolate," Selina replied, opening the box. "Please tell me that's what you like."

"It's okay," Roxie nodded, reaching toward the open box. "Thank you."

"Just a minute," Selina told her. She went and got forks and some candles and put the candles on the cake. There were ten in all. "I know that's not the right number," Selina told her. "But I really don't know how old you are."

"Ten is fine," Roxie told her. They carried the candle-covered cake over to the table and Selina was about to light a match when the doorbell rang.

Roxie went to answer it and found Lucy on the other side. "Hi," she said, striding inside.

"Look," Roxie said. "I'm not in the mood to look for a girlfriend for Dad today. It's my birthday and Vince just had to leave to be with his stupid sister who's having surgery, and I'm _not_ happy."

"I know all that," Lucy told her. "Vince called and told me you might like some company, so here I am."

"I smell cake!" Addie cried, appearing out of nowhere, followed by her little-seen brother Joey, who's hair was as dark, and eyes as blue as his sister and mother's. "Can we join the party?" He asked. "Or do only certain people get cake?"

"Everyone can have some," Roxie replied. "But first, I have to blow out my candles."

Selina lit them and everyone sang "Happy Birthday" before she blew them out and everyone applauded.

"Okay!" Selina said, pulling out a knife. "Who wants cake?"

"Don't forget I get the biggest piece!" Roxie said.

As they ate cake, the phone rang. "I'll see who it is," Roxie said. She ran to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hello, pet," said Klaus' voice. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks!" Roxie cried. "I wasn't sure you were gonna remember. I know you're busy scolding Adrian and everything, so I would have understood."

"No you wouldn't have, Roxanne," Klaus told her. "I know you better than that. If I wouldn't have called today, you would have called me tomorrow, and yelled at me about forgetting your birthday, so I thought it would be best to remember. What are the plans for the day?"

"Nothing much," Roxie said. "I was gonna spend the day with Vince and the kids, but he had to go spend time with his sister who's having surgery, so he left and then Lucy came over, and Mom brought a cake, so me, Mom, Lucy, and the kids are just sitting around eating cake. What about you? Adrian gotten his thorough scolding yet?"

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "And now I'm concentrating all my efforts into getting Amy to lighten up. It's getting to be almost Mardi Gras time, you know. You have to know how to have fun then."

"Well, good luck with that," Roxie told him. "Thanks for calling. I'll let you get back to your mission."

"Goodbye," Klaus said to her. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks again," Roxie replied, grinning. "Goodbye." She hung up the phone and went back to her cake, and afterward, took Lucy aside. "Thanks for coming," she said. "You didn't have to, and you did anyway. I appreciate it."

"Well, you're welcome!" Lucy told her. "I didn't want you to be alone on your birthday. That wouldn't be fun. I hope this was, though."

Roxie nodded. "It was good enough to hold me until Vince gets back tonight," she said. "_If_ he does."

"Let's go shopping to take up the rest of the time," Lucy suggested. "You wanna do that?"

"Sure!" Roxie said. "Let me get my coat and we can go!"

* * *

"I don't know about this," Amy told Klaus. "I've never really been in a bar before."

"You're kidding," he told her. "You _had_ to have been in a bar before."

"Nope," Amy shook her head. "Not even once."

"Well, it's lucky you're with me, then," Klaus told her. "Otherwise you wouldn't know what to do with yourself and some unscrupulous man might try to take advantage of you."

"Oh, don't you worry about me when it comes to _that_," Amy told him. "I can handle guys who try to be shifty with me."

"Well, good," Klaus told her. "I'm proud."

Despite Amy's reservations, he was able to get her into a bar near the hotel where a group of people were having a drinking contest. "Hey," Klaus told them. "Mind if this lady and I join?"

"Sure, stranger, the bartender replied. "Why not?" Klaus took his place at the bar and Amy nervously stood next to him, regret heavy in her stomach. "I don't know if I want to do this," she whispered to Klaus. "I think I'll just wait outside."

"Okay," Klaus told her. "You could do that. If you're too afraid of a couple of drinks. I thought you could handle it, but obviously you can't. It's more of a guy thing anyway."

"Oh, you shut up!" Amy cried, turning back to the bartender. "I might not have been in bars like you, but that doesn't mean I've never had a drink before, or that I can't drink at all!" Angrily, she slapped the table. "Send one over here and keep 'em coming!"

Klaus chuckled at first, but then watched in amazement as one by one, Amy knocked out the other men at the table until only the two of them were left in the contest.

"I can drink another one," Amy told him. "Can you?" Her head was almost down on the bar, and her face made a movement like she was going to vomit, even though nothing came out. But she downed the glass anyway before collapsing on the bar table.

"Looks like I win," Klaus told the bartender. "But it was no contest, really." He was given the hundred dollar prize, then he picked up a woozy Amy, put her over his shoulder, and carried her out of the bar. They got back to the hotel and he tucked her in. "You need to sleep," he told her, then tried to move away, but she grabbed his wrist. "No," she shook her head. "Not without a goodnight kiss."

"All right," Klaus nodded. He leaned in, and then her body shot up. "Wait," she said. "Not now," before she sprinted off to the bathroom and threw up. Then, when that was finally done, she brushed her teeth and came back out, undressing in front of him. "Now," she said, coming to unbutton his shirt and put her hands on his bare chest. "What about my goodnight kiss?" He leaned in and she didn't hesitate. He was being kissed more than he was kissing and soon they were both naked, and stroking each other with lips and hands, their bodies hot and damp. He tangled his fingers in her red hair as she planted a trail of kisses down his chest and stomach, and even down his length. He let out a gasp and she looked up and giggled, a naughty glint in her eye. He grinned and took her in his arms, kissing her and pulling her underneath him, thinking before things got too intense that he couldn't forget to put the "do not disturb" sign on the door in the morning.

* * *

When Vince finally got back from his day with Tessa, the house was dark. He was sure everyone was already asleep. Clutching the roses he'd gotten Roxie, he managed to let himself in and make his way to their room in the darkness. He found the right door and turned on the light, grinning to himself. Roxie was splayed out on the bed, dressed in a pretty dress he'd never seen before, her hair a tangled mess against her pillow. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing steadily. He put the two bouquets of multicolored rose (one that said "Happy birthday" and another that said, "I'm Sorry") on the bed and then gently roused her.

"What?" She asked, bleary-eyed.

"It's me," Vince told her as he helped her sit up. "Sorry it took me so long to get back. I brought you flowers." He held them up. "See?"

Roxie put her arms around him and gave him a kiss. "Thank you," she said. "I forgive you for leaving me alone today."

He just held her as she lay her head against his chest. "Thank you," he said. "And that's a pretty outfit, by the way. Is it new?"

"Yeah," Roxie nodded. "Lucy and I went shopping and bought a bunch of stuff. I was gonna model it all for you, but I feel asleep before you got back."

"And I think you want to go back to sleep, don't you?" Vince asked, looking into her big blue eyes that really wanted to close.

"Yes," Roxie yawned and held on to him. "Good night." Her eyes closed he held her for a few more moments before laying back on the bed himself and turning off the bedroom light for the night.


	8. Back From New Orleans

_The previous morning_

Amy was the first one to awaken and sitting up, she realized a few things were out of the ordinary: One, her head ached. two, she felt nauseous, and three, when she threw the covers aside to run to the bathroom, she realized she wasn't wearing anything. With a gasp, she quickly covered herself again, accidentally uncovering Klaus as she pulled the blankets over. She gasped and shut her eyes, but not before his opened and he realized she'd been looking. "See anything you like?" He asked with a smirk.

"I didn't mean to," she said. "I think we should go home today. I don't want to be here anymore."

"Why not?" Klaus asked. "I thought we were having fun!"

"Fun?" Amy asked, her eyes wide. "How can you call this fun? I certainly can't!"

"Why?" Klaus asked. "Are you engaged and ashamed that you came to bed with me last night?"

"I'm not engaged," She said. "But when I _do_ decide to be, it will be to someone of my own kind and certainly not you."

"You witches are very particular about who you marry, aren't you?" Klaus asked. "That's probably why Adrian got put through the wringer when Helene brought him to the stupid witches' convention and made the mistake of introducing him as her husband. They all wanted her to marry someone else!"

"Well, I can't really blame them," Amy replied."I've met your son and I feel the same."

"He wasn't always like he is now," Klaus told her. "When he was younger, and up until quite recently, he was a good boy and a good man. So good sometimes, if it weren't for the fact that he looked very much like me, I'd have trouble believing he was my son."

"Who, pray tell, made him that good?" Amy asked. "His mother?"

Klaus nodded. "His mother, and my brother. Who are coincidentally married now, by the way." He waited for Amy to respond, but her body convulsed and she ran to the bathroom to throw up instead. When she came out, she seemed much paler and Klaus could see dark smudges under her eyes. "Take me home," she said between her teeth. "Now!"

Klaus sighed. "Oh, all right," he said. "But we're gonna have to work on your people skills. You're really not all that much fun." He got out of bed and Amy quickly reverted her eyes, which made Klaus smirk. "You know," he said, moving one of her hands away from her face. "It's even _more_ of a turn on for me if you act all innocent if I already know you're turned on by my body."

"It is?" Amy asked.

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "It is."

"Just get dressed," Amy begged. "Please?"

"I don't see what you're ashamed of since you told me you aren't engaged or anything," Klaus told her as he put on his pants. "We're two consenting adults. It's not a problem."

"Is us being drunk together and having sex really the same as consenting?" Amy asked. "I don't know."

"Well, all right," Klaus replied. "I'm sorry then. I'll never take you to do anything fun again and you can marry a nice witch boy and live happily ever after."

"Thank you," Amy said. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" She put a hand on her head and winced. "Now I'm gonna go see what I can do to take care of my head, I'm going to shower, and then we're going home, all right?"

"All right, all right," Klaus rolled his eyes. "Spoilsport."

Amy rolled her eyes and went into the bathroom. Klaus followed a few seconds later. "Hey!" she spun around. "Don't you follow me in here! Go out there and wait your turn! You've already seen more of me than you should have!"

"Calm down," Klaus said. "I didn't come in to try and get into the shower with you, if that's what you're thinking. I just came in to brush my teeth." He paused and plunked a glass on the counter. "Drink this," he said. "It'll help with your headache.

Amy's eyes narrowed. "Really? Are you sure this stuff will work?" She looked at the glass skeptically. "And are you _really_ brushing your teeth?"

"Really," he replied, holding up toothbrush and toothpaste. "But if it really bothers you, I suppose it's not an emergency and I can wait."

Amy nodded, gripping the glass with the concoction in it.. "Good," She said. "I'm closing the door after you once you leave. And I'm gonna lock it in case you get any ideas!"

"Don't worry," Klaus called. "I won't intrude any more on your precious self." He left and she shut the door and locked it behind him. She took her shower and when she came out, with a towel around her body and another one around her hair, Klaus switched places with her. She dressed and then listened as the water for the shower ran. She shut her eyes, and despite her not wanting them to, visions of Klaus from the night before swam in front of her eyes. Goodness he was _hot_. There weren't many witch boys out there like him. She opened her eyes and shook her head. What was she thinking? It was madness! He was merely a client, that was all. _No more_.

When he was done with his shower, he came out with a towel around his waist. His body was damp and so was his hair, and despite not meaning to, Amy found herself looking.

"Enjoying the view?" He asked.

"Yes, all right?" Amy replied. "Yes, I find you attractive, I admit it! Now stop flaunting it, okay?"

"Well, I'm sorry, love," Klaus replied. "But I can't help it if this is how I look and that I'm comfortable with my own body."

"Didn't your wife ask you to be decent at all times?" Amy asked.

Klaus chuckled. "Selina? Of course not! To her, my shameless exhibitionism was part of my charm!"

"And she attracted your brother?" Amy asked. "I find that hard to believe. Unless your brother is just like you."

"Nope," Klaus shook his head. "Polar opposite. Helped Selina become 'respectable' which is apparently not something I'm good for."

"Well, it's good to know that there are people you associate with that have a sense of decency," Amy replied, and threw his clothes at him. "Get dressed. I want to get to the plane as soon as possible!"

"Oh, come on!" Klaus replied. "Don't you at least want to do a little shopping before you go? Get some souvenirs? Come on, you know you want to! Tell your mother where you went and what a hero you were, beating up the bad guy?" He looked at her encouragingly.

"I forgot what a good father you are," Amy replied dryly. "All right. We'll go shopping. But just for a little bit. First though, you have to get dressed."

Klaus winked. "As my lady commands."

* * *

"Felicity?" Klaus called as he and Amy trudged into the house several hours later and dropped their numerous shopping bags and suitcases on the floor that night. "We're home!"

Felicity came running to the front door and threw her arms around Klaus. "I missed you so much!" She cried. "I'm so glad you're back!"

Klaus held her at arms' length. "Are you overcompensating for something?" He asked. "Did something else happen beside the party you said you had?"

"No!" Felicity shook her head. "I'm just hugging you and saying that I'm glad you're back. What's the problem with that?" She paused. "If you're suspicious about Stefan and me, just say so."

"I thought I already did," Klaus replied, his gaze darkening. "I also remember telling you that if I found out you and Stefan were up to something, I would kill him. Do you remember me saying that?"

"Yeah," Felicity nodded. "And what are you gonna do about _me_? Are you gonna kill me too?"

"So you're saying I _do_ have a reason to kill Stefan, then!" Klaus thundered. "Felicity Joy, what in the hell? I just came back after having to deal with Adrian's problems and now I find out I have to deal with yours too? I just can't leave you alone, can I?"

"I never said that!" Felicity shouted. "Calm down!"

"All right, all right," Amy said, stepping in between them. "Let's just calm down and talk about this like civilized people, okay?"

"Yeah," Felicity said, looking Klaus straight in the eye. "If you yell at me and Stefan for hypothetically having sex, that would make you an awful hypocrite! I bet there were times when you stuck your equipment where it didn't belong either, so don't you dare say anything about it!"

She stomped off and Amy, deeply flushed and eyes averted, said, "She_ does _have a point, you know."

"No, she doesn't," Klaus replied shortly. "Don't let her fool you into thinking there was something shameful about what we did. She's only bringing it up to try and distract me from whatever it was that _she_ did."

"So what are you gonna do?" Amy asked. "Personally, I think you should wait until you talk to Stefan before you make a rash judgment, but that's just my opinion and of course you don't have to listen to me if you don't want to."

"Yes," Klaus nodded as he headed toward Felicity's room. "That's the beauty of it. I don't have to listen to you if I don't want to."

"That doesn't mean you _shouldn't!_" Amy cried. "It wouldn't hurt you to listen to me once in awhile. I know things!"

Klaus smirked. "Don't forget, I'm a thousand years old, love. What could you possibly know that I don't?"

"I don't know," Amy shrugged. "But I'm sure there's _something!_" Klaus just growled and stalked off to Felicity's room, where he let himself in without knocking.

"Hey!" Felicity cried. "Do you mind? Haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

"I'm your father," Klaus replied curtly. "This is _my_ house and I don't have to knock if I don't want to."

"What do you want?" Felicity sighed.

"I want you to tell me the truth about having sex with Stefan. Have you? I'll know if you're lying."

"Have you talked to Stefan?" Felicity asked. "Why is it that I seem to be the only one who's in trouble? If we _did_ have sex, shouldn't you be yelling at _both_ of us?"

Just then, the door to Felicity's bedroom opened and Stefan poked his head in. "Ah-ha!" Klaus cried. "Returning to the scene of the crime! I _knew _it!"

"What crime?" Stefan asked, looking confused. "Felicity, what is he babbling about?"

"He thinks we had sex while he was gone," Felicity replied. "Isn't that silly?"

"I know you have!" Klaus replied.

"No, we haven't," Stefan said, opening the door further and revealing a green-eyed brunette. "I've been with this pretty lady the whole time."

"Hi," she said. She had two obvious bite marks on her neck.

Klaus began to look as if all his conviction was draining out of him. "See?" Amy said, regaining her cheerful manner. "You worked yourself up for nothing. Now why don't you go to bed now, cause you're obviously tired and it's making you act ridiculous."

Klaus mumbled a few more protestations as Amy pushed him out the door.

"I'm glad you're back, Daddy!" Felicity called. "I hope you had a good time!"

Once they were out of sight, Stefan and the girl came into the room. "Now that your Dad's back, we'll have to put the kibosh on our evenings together. I'll have to date other women. Don't let that bother you too much."

"Oh, please," Felicity scoffed. "You can play with all the toys you want. I don't care. But I bet it will just _kill_ you when I bring my first boyfriend home."

Stefan shrugged. "Whatever. I'm not gonna care."

"I don't believe you," Felicity told him. "I think you'll care a lot."

"You should tuck yourself in," Stefan told her. "I think it's past your bedtime."

"Oh, shut up!" Felicity cried, chucking a stuffed animal at the door, which Stefan closed just in time for it to avoid hitting him.

Felicity went to bed soon after that, but was kept awake by the sounds Stefan and his lady friend were making next door. "Do you mind?" She cried, knocking on the wall. "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

For a moment, the creaking springs and moaning stopped. Felicity sighed and tucked herself into bed. But just as she relaxed, the noise started up again. Growling, she grabbed a pair of scissors that she always kept under her bed and went next door, slaying the girl and covering Stefan's sheets with blood.

"Not again!" Stefan cried. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Why can't you just listen?" Felicity asked. "I told you to shut up. Why couldn't you do it? Why is that so hard?"

"Careful," Stefan told her. "If you kill every woman I bring home, you might just be showing your father that you like me a little. We can't afford to give that away."

"Ah," Felicity nodded. "So _you're_ the one who's overcompensating. All right." She paused. "Sorry about your date. But I'm sure it won't be too hard to find another one at this hour. Girls like her are a dime a dozen."

"It was five hundred bucks an hour, actually," Stefan told her. "And thanks a lot, by the way."

"Oh, whatever," Felicity told him. "I saw her neck. You never paid her a cent." She paused. "Now that things are quieter, I'm going back to bed. You have a nice night, Stefan."

"Yeah," Stefan grumbled under his breath once she'd gone. "And you too, you little bitch."


	9. Roxie and Lucy Working Together

"So, when are you going to start talking to me again?" Klaus asked Amy as he lit a cigarette. She snatched it away from him. "Don't do that!" She snapped. "It's not good for you!" She paused. "There," she said. "We've talked."

"That doesn't count!" Klaus told her. "It's the same bossy, motherly crap you've pulled on me for the last three months. You know I want to have a real conversation. Why won't you talk to me? Is it because of the sex when Mikael was after Selina? Cause remember, you _agreed_ to do that. It wasn't like anyone forced you."

"I'm aware of that," Amy said. "I just...I'm not comfortable with how close I'm letting myself get to you."

"Are you saying you want to go and tell Astrid you quit?" Klaus asked.

"There's no need for that," Amy told him. "Not as long as we maintain a respectful, professional relationship, and look for other people as sexual partners."

"Why?" Klaus asked. "It'll save me from having to be dragged on worthless date after worthless date by my well-meaning but misguided daughters." He paused. "Why are you so intent on marrying a witch boy?"

"Well, why are you so intent on being with_ me_?" Amy asked. "For all you know, I could be as horrible as Helene, which would leave you as bitter and angry as Adrian, and do you really want that?"

"You aren't as bad as Helene," Klaus told her. "And you never will be, no matter what you do."

"What if I tell you you can't smoke and drink anymore?" Amy asked. "Will you hate me then?"

Klaus shrugged. "If you were to tell me that I couldn't smoke or drink anymore, it wouldn't really matter, because while you could control my behavior in the house, I still have Enid's and other places to go that accept that sort of thing, so really, it wouldn't be too much of a problem. I'd be annoyed at first, but get over it eventually."

"Really?" Amy asked. "Is there really nothing I can do to make you truly hate me?"

"I don't understand why you want to," Klaus told her. "Have I done something to really offend you? If I have, maybe you _should_ tell Astrid you quit." He strode off, not giving Amy time to respond, although she wasn't sure she would have known what to say, even if she would have been given the opportunity.

* * *

Steeling herself, Amy strode into the offices of the witches' council the next day. As soon as she walked through the door, she started at the sight of the first person she saw. "Mr. Black," she whispered. He grinned and gave her a bow. "Well, hello there," he said, and indicated a blonde next to him. "Have you met my wife, Lenora?"

"No," Amy shook her head. "Since when did you have a wife?"

"Since I was sixteen and made a deal with him so he wouldn't kill my aunt," Lenora told her. "And he kept his word. I was very surprised about that, actually."

James smirked. "I may be a notorious torturer," he told her. "But I'm not a liar."

"What brings you here?" Lenora asked. "Did you come to talk to my grandmother?"

"And who would that be?" Amy asked. "I'm sorry, but I don't know who your grandmother is."

"Astrid Fale," James told her. "You know, the big boss of everything?"

Amy's eyes widened. "Hang on just a minute!" She said to Lenora. "So, Astrid Fale is your grandmother, which means your mother is...?"

"Helene Fale," Lenora said, looking as if she'd swallowed a lemon. "She's had her problems, but my father is even worse."

"Adrian is your father," Amy said. "You-You're a vampire too, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Lenora nodded. "I am."

Amy looked at James. "Is it difficult being married to her? Do you sometimes wish you would have married a nice witch instead?"

"Never," James said firmly. "Any 'nice witch' as you call them, would be too terrified of my reputation to give me a chance. But thanks to the fact that I was forced to step outside of the witch box to look for relationships, I have a wife and two kids. I'm happy. Why?"

"No reason," Amy shook her head. "Just wondering."

"Did you say you needed to talk to my grandmother?" Lenora asked. "Cause she's out at the moment, but I can put you in touch with my grandfather, who is bored out of his mind and looking for _any_ way to occupy himself, and whatever you tell him, I'm _sure _it'll get back to her." She wrote down an address and handed it to Amy.

"Thanks," Amy replied, taking it and putting it in her pocket. "Thank you so much."

* * *

She left for Alistair's immediately and when she knocked, she was surprised to see him grinning when he opened the door. "Hello," he said. "You're Amy, aren't you?"

"Yes," Amy nodded, a little taken aback. "How is it that you know who I am?"

"Astrid told me that she was sending you to look after Klaus when it was decreed I would no longer able to. Why don't you come in?"

"All right," Amy nodded. "Thank you." She followed him into the house, sat down in the living room, and he brought her a cup of tea.

"So," he said, after sitting down himself. "Are you having problems with him already? Are you here to ask for advice?"

"Kind of," Amy said, surprised again. "You're very perceptive."

"Oh, it wasn't a guess," Alistair told her. "I figured that he'd take some getting used to for whomever Astrid sent, so I've just been waiting for you to come over and talk to me. Tell me, what's the problem? He hasn't hurt you or anything, has he? Or made you perform any magic you found morally objectionable?"

"No," Amy shook her head. "It's not that. It's that..well...I think he's in love with me or something, and I don't really know how to respond."

"What makes you think he's in love with you?" Alistair asked.

"Well," Amy flushed. "He and I...we've...we've had sex a couple of times and I'm sure he wants it to continue. The thing is, I'm not sure I want it to. I want to marry a warlock and have nice, normal magic babies. Not get in a relationship with a man like Klaus, who is _not_ a warlock, and have...whatever sorts of kids we'll have. It might have been okay for his first wife, who I understand was crazy at one point, but it's not all right for me. Even if I _did_ enjoy it the second time when I was actually sober."

"Trust me," Alistair said with a grin. "He's not in love with you. I've known him for about five hundred years and there's only been one person he ever loved."

"Adrian's mother," Amy nodded. "I met her. She's nice. Not crazy at all. What was wrong with her when she was crazy?"

Alistair sighed. "She was an angry, bitter woman. She had had a lot of disappointment in her life, romantic and otherwise, and she just decided to take it out on people. Klaus encouraged it, and they _did_ make a genuine connection that did both of them some good. But I can't say I wasn't happy when she started liking Elijah instead. He brought out the good in her."

"Do you-do you think that's all Klaus needs?" Amy asked. "Someone to bring the good out in him?"

"Yes," Alistair nodded. "I do. But if you're not comfortable with it, don't push yourself. Just get a nice warlock to date, and maybe help Klaus find some women of his own, and you shouldn't have to worry about him anymore. The only reason why he's clinging to you now is that he has no other options. But once he's got a bigger social circle, his attachment to you should lessen."

"All right," Amy nodded. "It's funny that you mention setting him up with other women because he has daughters who want to do that very thing for him."

Alistair's eyes widened. "Lucy and Roxanne are working on a project together? I fear for its outcome. They don't do the best job of getting along."

"I know," Amy said. "I've seen." Just then, her cell phone rang. "Hello?" She said.

"Amy!" Klaus' angry voice cried into the phone. "I don't know where the fuck you are right now, but get back home right now, damn it!"

"Why?" She asked. "Is there a problem?"

"Just come, it's an emergency!" Klaus snapped, and then hung up.

"Who was it?" Alistair asked.

"It was him,"Amy replied. "Some emergency at home, supposedly. Probably a ploy to lure me into his bed." She sighed. "But I suppose I should go and see." She swallowed the last of her tea and gave Alistair a smile. "Thank you so much for your advice. I have a feeling it's going to come in handy."

Alistair nodded. "And if you ever need to know anything else, just stop by. I'll be here."

Amy told him goodbye one last time and went to her car, driving as fast as she could back to Klaus', where she found two strange cars in the driveway. Curious, she came inside and saw Klaus on the couch with his daughters on either side of him, showing him books full of pictures.

"What about her?" Lucy asked.

"Don't show him _her_!" Roxie said, pulling out the picture of the smiling woman in the gray pantsuit who had dark hair and pretty blue eyes. "She's a lawyer. She's totally wrong for him!"

Lucy frowned as Roxie took the picture from the album and tore it into little pieces. "Hey!" She cried. "You didn't have to do that! Just like you didn't have to do it with all the others!"

"Obviously, I do!" Roxie cried, flailing her arms at the torn bits of photo all over the floor. "It's the only way to stop you from recommending such stupid people!"

"Girls!" Klaus cried, trying to calm them down, "Girls, I think this is awfully nice for you to do, but-" He was cut off when to his surprise, Lucy's fist shot across his lap and plowed into Roxie's face.

"Hey, now!" He said to her as Roxie toppled onto the carpet, clutching her nose. "Easy! Didn't your mother and your uncle tell you that hitting people isn't nice?"

But Lucy ignored him, dove off the sofa, and tackled her sister, who was struggling to get up off the floor. Soon, there was punching, hair pulling, and words coming out of their mouths that filled Klaus full of nostalgia, because although Roxie could have learned them anywhere, Lucy could've only learned them from Selina. Finally, he noticed Amy. "Thanks for coming back," he said. "What finally convinced you to come? The fact that I told you it was an emergency?"

"I thought you were just saying that to trick me," she said. "I thought it was just some ruse to get me into your bed."

"Well, as you can see," Klaus said as he finally managed to pull a snarling, hissing, biting Roxie off Lucy, "it wasn't a ruse at all. I really needed the help."

Both girls narrowed their eyes at each other and Klaus and Amy kept tight holds on each of them. When Lucy reached for Roxie again, Amy held her fast. "Either one of you makes a move to hurt the other again and I will give you little brain aneurysms so fast and for so long, you'll be begging me to stop. Do you want that?"

"No," they both said at the same time. Klaus and Amy let them both go and they trudged to the door. A few seconds later, both of their cars pulled out of the driveway.

"You know, it's a shame Roxie ripped up the picture of that lawyer," Klaus said.

"Really?" Amy asked. "Was she pretty?"

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "I really think I could've liked her. Oh, well," he locked eyes with her. "I guess I'll have to try one of the other fish in the sea. And I'm a _very_ accomplished fisherman."


	10. Moving Away From Selina

"I saw Alistair yesterday," Amy told Klaus. "We talked about you. He said that Adrian's mother is the only woman he's known you to love. Is that true?"

"Well, yes," Klaus nodded. "But it obviously wasn't enough, now was it? Please don't make me talk about it. I know you think you're doing me a favor, but you aren't. I've finally just gotten used to the fact that there's no way I'll ever be with her again, and the only way that resolution will stick is if people stop bringing her up!"

"Would you like me to take you to Alistair's so the two of you can talk?" Amy asked. "I know that technically that's not supposed to happen, but I'm sure that if I brought you, he wouldn't tell on us. You miss him, don't you?"

Klaus just gave Amy a long look and then, to her surprise, he grabbed hold of her face and gave her a kiss. "Thank you!" He said. "Can we do that? Will you take me to Alistair's? I don't know why I didn't just think of that myself!"

"Maybe because you were trying to behave and move on like you're supposed to!" Amy called after him. "It's a good thing!" She then ran after him as he made his way toward the car. "Wait a minute!" She called. "I'm gonna be the one driving. You have to sit in the back!"

* * *

"Amy!" Alistair said in surprise, his dark eyes widening. "And Klaus!" He frowned. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, Klaus," he said. "But you _do_ know that technically you aren't supposed to be here."

"I know," Klaus nodded. "But I thought you'd be so glad to see me that you wouldn't tell anyone."

"Fine," Alistair sighed as they went into the kitchen. "What do you want?"

"I need your advice," Klaus told him. "I want to move on from Selina, and I've really tried, but it's hard cause people keep bringing her up! What should I do?"

"Well, I think the most obvious answer would be to find another woman," Alistair replied. "Or have a repeat of that period in the sixteen hundreds when you surrounded yourself with many male friends."

"I was in France!" Klaus said defensively. "I was friends with the Duke of Orleans! And no one can doubt his fondness for young, attractive men!"

"It seems like you were _more _than friends at one point," Alistair replied.

"Just for a little while!" Klaus replied. "1677, after his victory at Cassel! Despite his feminine habits, he really managed to show the Dutch who was boss!"

Alistair nodded. "And _you_ were more than happy to give him a victory party. What interesting days we all had in the seventeenth century."

"To get back on subject," Amy said, clearing her throat. "Cause we really seemed to have veered here, what advice would you give Klaus about getting over Selina?"

"Well, honestly, as I said before," Alistair told her, "the only thing I can think of would be for him to find someone else, whether for the long term, or just for the moment. Nothing else will be of any help."

"And who do you suggest I find?" Klaus asked.

"I don't know," Alistair replied. "I can't be your wingman anymore. I _swore_ I wouldn't let myself get too involved with you when I'm not supposed to. Don't make me break that promise."

"Will you get punished by the witch powers that be if you do?"

"I don't know," Alistair shrugged. "And I _really_ don't want to find out. Good luck, my friend."

* * *

After they left Alistair's, Amy decided she had a question for Klaus. "Would you say you're bad?" She asked.

"Bad in what way, love?" Klaus asked.

"Bad like, evil bad," Amy elaborated. "You must be. Your son had to get it from somewhere."

"And you automatically assume it's me," Klaus hit the steering wheel. "That is the most touching thing I've ever heard. Lord knows his _mother_ couldn't have had any part in his bad behavior, even though she's one of the most notorious vampires that ever lived! No, it's me who's the bad one. All right. You want me to show you just what a monster I am?" He asked, speeding up the car. Amy was now regretting letting him drive.

"No," she shook her head. "Please! I was just asking a question. I didn't mean to upset you!"

"Too late!" Klaus replied as he sped onto a bridge, faster and faster until he finally lost control of the car and it smashed into the side of the bridge, teetering dangerously. "Oh, my god!" Amy burst out at Klaus as she zapped them out and watched her car fall into the water. "What the hell did you do _that_ for?!"

"Just to prove something to you," he said. "I hope you learned your lesson."

"What lesson?" Amy asked. "You got upset that I thought you were a bad guy and then you went and proved it. What, what, exactly, were you trying to get out of this?"

"Nothing," Klaus replied, not meeting her eyes. "You were making me angry and I wanted to scare you."

"Well, that's just great!" Amy replied. "Now we're stuck miles away from home with no way to get back."

"You could always use your magic to get us there," Klaus suggested. "Did you forget that?"

"No," Amy shook her head. "I'm _not_ just gonna zap us home after you were stupid enough to wreck my car. We'll have to find another way."

"Like what?" Klaus asked.

"I suggest you walk," Amy replied, looking around. "It's a nice day. And it's good for you to have exercise."

"What do you mean _I_ should walk?" Klaus asked. "What are _you_ planning on doing?"

"You're gonna carry me on your back," Amy said. "You wreck my car, you carry me. It's only fair."

"Now you're just being petty," Klaus replied. "Surely you can think of another way home?"

"Nope," Amy replied. "Carry me. _Now._"

Rolling his eyes, Klaus lifted her up so she was on his back and walked for a little while, until he let out a grunt and threw her down beside a tree on the side of the road.

"You can't stop here!" Amy cried. "There's a ways to go until we get home."

"I know that," Klaus replied. "But I'm not gonna carry you anymore. If you want to get home, you get up off your ass and get your two skinny legs to take you back home. Am I clear?"

Amy got to her feet and narrowed her eyes at him, lifting her finger to cast some sort of spell on him, she didn't care what, but before she could, he grabbed her wrist. "Whatever you were just about to do," he whispered next to her ear, "Don't even _think_ about it." He threw Amy's wrist away and she staggered before she brought her arm up and gave him a punch in the nose.

"Bet you didn't think I had it in me to do _that_, did you," she asked, her hips, chest, and chin thrust forward.

Klaus growled and held his nose. "What did you do that for?" He asked, his voice muffled.

"I just wanted to let you know that I had bad in me too," Amy replied. "You go too far with anything and I _will_ fight back."

"Good," Klaus grinned, despite the blood flowing freely from his nose. He finally took his hand off as his nose healed and grinned at Amy. "I _like _a woman who fights back." He paused, still grinning. "See if you can hit me again," he said. "But no using magic. That's cheating."

"No, I will _not!_" Amy shot back. "This is _crazy_!"

He swung a punch at her head, but very obviously missed.

"Seriously?" Amy asked. "You are not seriously trying to start stuff with me."

"Maybe I am," Klaus grinned, walking on his tiptoes with his fists in the air. "And maybe if you hit me, we'd get somewhere."

"I'm not gonna hit you!" Amy shook her head and walked away. "You're being ridiculous!" She took a few steps, and then felt herself get shoved from behind, and land face down on the grass. She lay there in shock for a few seconds and then turned over onto her back, spitting out bits of dirt and grass before sitting up and glaring at Klaus, who was a distance away, whistling absentmindedly, and holding both hands behind his back. She could tell, even from the distance, that he was avoiding her eyes. She growled and stomped over to him. "Why did you push me in the dirt?"

"Are you mad at me?" Klaus asked. "Mad enough to hit me again?"

Amy sighed. "Fine," she said and got him square in the eye so that he dropped straight to the ground. "There!" She exclaimed. "Happy?"

"Not quite," he replied, and pulled her down next to him on the grass, kissing her soundly.

She resisted for a second or two, but then threw her arms around his neck. "Wait a minute, wait a minute!" She cried when they finally pulled apart. "We can't kiss out here! We're in _public_!"

Klaus raised an eyebrow. "So are you saying that you'd be willing to go _home_ and continue kissing?"

"Maybe," Amy replied. "Maybe I would."

"Good," Klaus grinned and grabbed her hand, giving her a lighter push so she'd proceed him to the car and he could give her a brief spank on the bottom. "Hey!" She said. "Do you want me to hit you again?"

Klaus grinned. "Just get in the car, would you?"

"I would... if we _had_ a car!" Amy reminded him. "But we don't, because of _you!"_

"Let's think about what our other option is, then!" Klaus replied. "Hmmm! Maybe you could, oh, I don't know, use your _magic_ to zap us home?"

"Oh, all right," Amy sighed. "I'm too tired to want to punish you any more anyway."

"Not _too_ tired, I hope," Klaus told her. "We still have kissing to do."

* * *

When they got back to the house, they headed straight for the bedroom to make out some more, and maybe go even a bit further if the mood was right. After shutting the bedroom door, they ripped off each other's clothes and fell onto the bed, their hands running over each other's hot bodies, both slick with sweat after no time at all.

"I never end up like this because I love you, you know," Amy told him as she looked down into his blue eyes and ran her fingers through his curly hair. "Please don't tell me you're attached to me."

Klaus nodded. "Cause you're gonna marry a witch boy, I know. But you haven't yet, and that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun in the mean time, right?"

"I guess," Amy sighed. "No attachment whatsoever. Just sex."

"Interesting," Klaus grinned. "That's exactly how my relationship with Adrian's mother started.

"Oh, just shut up and kiss me!" Amy ordered,

As Amy let out a particularly loud shriek, Lucy and Roxie came by with the first of Klaus' dates.

"What was that?" She asked, her eyes wide.

"Oh, don't worry," Lucy said to her. "Our father has a friend that lives here too and he has particularly spirited girlfriends come stay sometimes. That's probably one of them."

"Oh, right," the woman breathed. "Okay. I was a bit worried."

Roxie started calling for her father and walking through the house. "Dad!" She yelled. "Where are you?"

"Roxanne?" Klaus yelled, his voice rising on the second syllable because of Amy stroking him. "What do you want?"

Roxie jogged over to Klaus' closed bedroom door. "Lucy and I brought your first date over."

"I'm not interested!" He said. "Some other time, please!" Then, he burst out laughing.

"What's going on?" Roxie asked. "Are you busy?"

"Yes," Klaus said when he could breath again. "I'm _very_ busy."

"And very ticklish!" Amy added.

"I'm sorry you girls had to go to all this trouble," Klaus called back.

"It's one of Lucy's choices," Roxie shrugged. "I don't blame you for not wanting to take her up on it. Whomever you're with in there is probably better anyway. Although you better not be busy when I bring one of _my_ choices over!"

Suddenly, Klaus poked his head out the door. "Will you go away?" He snapped. "I am not at home to company at the moment!"

"Well, fine!" Roxie replied. "Excuse me for wanting to help you out of a rut."

"Does it _sound_ like I'm in a rut to you?" Klaus asked between his teeth.

"Okay, okay!" Roxe backed away. "I get it. You don't have to paint me a picture. "We'll go."

"Thank you!" Klaus snapped and slammed the bedroom door.

"Well?" Lucy asked when Roxie returned. "Is he coming out, or not?"

"He's busy," Roxie replied. "I think he's got somebody in his bed."

"Oh," Lucy nodded. "I guess we have no _choice_ but to come back later then." She looked at the woman, Denise, a tall, leggy brunette in a little black dress. apologetically. "Sorry we dragged you all the way out here for nothing."

Denise shrugged with a grin. "The drive was a nice break after being in a stuffy law practice all day. I suppose there are always other times, right?"

"Right!" Lucy nodded. "Exactly. That's the spirit!"

* * *

Once Amy and Klaus had separated and were both breathing heavily as they looked up at the ceiling, Amy said, "It's really lucky your daughter didn't come in here."

"If she had, it wouldn't have mattered," Klaus shrugged. "She wouldn't be the first child of mine I've traumatized with my sexual escapades."

"Let me guess," Amy asked. "You're talking about Adrian's mother again. And Adrian himself."

Klaus nodded. "He had some sort of weird illness thing one night and came in while Selina and I were, you know, like this, and he saw everything."

"What does she do now that she's been tamed by your brother?" Amy asked. "Your ex-wife, I mean? I've probably been told, but I don't remember."

"She owns a bakery," Klaus replied. "She bakes cakes and things all day."

"Wow," Amy raised an eyebrow. "One of the most infamous vampires in the world owns a bakery now? I never would have thought."

"Me either," Klaus shrugged. "I would call it a waste of potential, but if that's how she wants to live her life, unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it."

"Not everyone has to be bad," Amy replied. "Maybe she just wanted a change of pace. What about you? Do you think _you'll_ ever want a change of pace? Want to try being the town hero once in your life?"

"Maybe," Klaus smirked. "If hell freezes over."


	11. Letting Go Two Times

Klaus started violently when he woke up the next morning and went into the kitchen, seeing Roxie sitting at the table. "So..." she began. "Just who were you in bed with yesterday?"

"None of your business, Roxanne," Klaus replied. "That's who!"

"Oh, come on," Roxie urged. "You can tell me."

"Tell her what?" Felicity asked as she came into the kitchen and sat down. "I want to know too!"

"No!" Klaus shook his head. "I don't have to share my affairs with the entire house."

"Interesting choice of words there," Roxie smirked, and then looked at Felicity. "Hey," she said. "Has he had anyone unusual around here lately?"

Felicity shrugged. "I don't think so. Unless you count Amy as unusual."

"No," Roxie shook her head. "I count _her_ as annoying."

At that moment, a yawning Amy came into the kitchen. "I need an extra large coffee," she said. "I can't keep my eyes open this morning."

"No one can blame you," Klaus grinned. "After the night you had."

Amy gave him a frown and gestured not too subtly at Felicity and Roxie. "Don't!" she mouthed.

"Don't what?" Felicity asked.

"Nothing," Amy said. "Nothing at all. I'm gonna have my coffee, I'm gonna go get dressed, and then we'll see what you need to do today." She patted Klaus on the shoulder and grabbed her coffee cup. Felicity looked from her retreating back to Klaus. "Are you two having sex?" She asked.

"It depends," Klaus replied. "Are you and _Stefan_ having sex?"

"What?" Roxie asked, her eyes wide as she looked at Felicity. "You and Stefan? Really?"

Felicity sighed and looked Klaus in the eye. "So what if we are?" She told him. "What does it matter to you? If you're asking, you must've suspected for awhile, and because neither Stefan nor I are dead, I assume it doesn't bother you too much."

Klaus frowned. "I suppose that if you were to date someone, I would prefer you were with Stefan as opposed to a strange human boy from school. But..."

"But what?" Felicity asked. "It's too late for buts! How can you have a but?"

"He can _always_ have a 'but'," Roxie replied. "Especially when it comes to us and boys. You should have seen what Vince looked like after Dad found out about my pregnancy scare and set his goons on him."

"Seriously, Daddy?" Felicity asked. "_Seriously?_" She sighed. "Okay, get it out. What's the big 'but' that's coming?"

"But I still think you're too young to date," Klaus replied. "I don't want you doing it anymore. I want you to focus on your schoolwork instead."

"All right," Felicity grinned. "It doesn't matter to me if you say I can't date. Stefan and I technically aren't dating anyway, since all we do is have-" She was cut off as Roxie put a hand over her mouth. "From a person who knows," she said, "I'd stop right there if I were you, Lissy."

"No," Klaus grinned. "Please finish your sentence. All you and Stefan do is have _what_?"

"What you and Amy were having but you don't want to admit it," Felicity replied. "That's all we have. I'm not stupid, Daddy. If you and Amy are having sex, just say so. It won't scar me or anything."

"Yeah," Roxie said. "It'll make us question your choice of girlfriend for sure, but it won't scar us for life."

"Amy is _not_ my girlfriend," Klaus said between his teeth. "We're just-"

"Friends?" Roxie finished. "Is _that_ the excuse you're gonna use? Seriously?"

"Morning, everyone," Stefan said, stretching his arms over his head. Klaus punched him in the face and he dropped to the floor. "What was that for?" He asked, rubbing his jaw. "Interesting way of saying 'Good morning', Nik."

"He knows about you and Felicity," Roxie told Stefan. "And he's kind of pissed off at you."

"How does he know?" Stefan asked, looking at Felicity. "You weren't stupid enough to tell him, were you?"

"No," Klaus said. "Let's just say I am much more perceptive than the two of you seem to want to give me credit for."

"So what happens now?" Stefan asked Klaus. "You gonna kick me out? Or kill me?"

Klaus chuckled. "Oh, Stefan. If I'd wanted you dead, it would have happened as soon as I realized what you and Felicity were doing. I wouldn't have waited until now."

Stefan scrambled to his feet and nodded. "Okay," he said. "Good point."

"All right," Klaus said to Felicity. "Eat your breakfast and go to school. You don't want to be late."

Rolling her eyes, Felicity grabbed an apple, took a bite, and then strode out of the kitchen. Stefan followed her, but when she went into her room to dress, he just stood outside the open door.

"I wish you would come to school with me," Felicity told him. "You could pass. People would believe you actually went there."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Stefan told her. "I've done the whole high school thing and it's not for me. I'm older than every kid in the class and everything you learn, I've already experienced first hand."

"What if you didn't come as a student?" Felicity asked. "What if you came as a teacher? You could compel our normal teacher to leave and then you could take their place. Like for example, our history teacher is a _big_ bore. I think you'd be much better at it."

"No," Stefan said. "I'm not going to come to school with you. And how could you tell your dad about us?"

"I had to!" Felicity yelled. "It was the only way he'd confess about Amy! And even then he hasn't done it. He keeps just saying they're friends. I was suckered. Suckered, I tell you!"

"It's not your fault," Stefan told her. "You've only known him for sixteen years. I've known him longer."

"Didn't he compel you to forget a lot of the time that you two knew each other?" Felicity asked.

"Yes," Stefan nodded. "But that's beside the point. Don't you have school to be getting to?"

"I suppose," Felicity said. "Or I could skip it and we could, you know, do stuff."

Stefan shook his head. "No, thanks," he replied. "Based on the fact that your father knows about us, I think we should cool it for awhile."

"But I don't _want_ to cool it!" Felicity cried. "I liked things the way they were!"

"Then you should have kept your mouth shut," Stefan replied, giving her a spanking. "Have a good day, kid."

* * *

Later that day, Amy turned off the television, shuddering. "I hate how they have to keep talking about all those bodies they found in the woods every five minutes!" She shuddered. "It's awful! Who would do something so horrible?"

Her eyes widened. "Do you think it was Adrian? Do you think he got bored and came down here?"

Klaus shrugged. "It's possible," he said.

Just then, the phone rang. Klaus went to answer it. "Hello?" He said.

"Klaus?" Selina asked. "Have you been watching the news?"

"Yes," He replied. "They keep reporting about a horrible mass murder in the woods not far from where you live. Did you know about that?"

"Yes," Selina nodded. "It was a vampire that killed all those people. Two, actually. Mikael was gonna kill them, but I had to talk him out of it."

"Please don't tell me you offered yourself instead," Klaus replied.

"No," Selina shook her head. "It was Elijah and Gregory. _They_ were the ones who killed all those people."

Klaus was silent for a few minutes and then burst out laughing. "You're joking!" He said.

"No," Selina replied. "It really _was_ them!"

"Well, I'm gonna have to hear about this from Elijah directly," Klaus replied. "Not that I don't trust your word, love."

"You wanna go out to dinner with Elijah and me and we can tell you about it?"

"Would it be all right if I brought a date?" Klaus asked.

"Did you seriously just ask me if you could bring a date?" Selina asked. "That's not what I was expecting you to say."

"Don't be jealous, love," Klaus chuckled. "You're with my brother and I'm only trying to be a good boy and not go after you anymore."

"I'm _not_ jealous," Selina told him. "And I'm very happy with your brother. If you feel you're ready to move on and be with someone else, I'm proud of you. What's she like? The woman you want to bring? It _is_ a woman, right?"

"Yes," Klaus told her. "Her name is Amy. Astrid sent her over to be Alistair's replacement."

"You're dating a witch?" Selina asked skeptically. "I'd be careful if I were you. Remember what happened with Adrian and Helene."

"Of course I remember!" Klaus replied irritably. "What happened between Adrian and Helene will not happen between Amy and me. Helene made Adrian weak. He loved her so much he lost his spine. I intend for my spine to stay exactly where it is."

"All right," Selina nodded. "I can't wait to meet her, and I'm sure your brother will be thrilled once I tell him. I'll have him call you again to make more permanent plans, okay?"

"All right," Klaus told her. "Goodbye." He hung up the phone and went back into the living room where Amy still sat, guarding the remote control. "Can I ask you a question?" He asked her.

"It depends," Amy replied. "If you want me to turn on the TV again so you can admire your son's handiwork, I refuse."

"It wasn't about that," Klaus replied. "And it wasn't Adrian who committed those murders. It was my brother, my good, moral brother, and his son. Wanna go on a double date with Elijah and his wife so they can tell us all about it?"

"Is that why you kept saying my name to whoever you were talking to?" Amy asked. "Cause you want to go on a date with me?"

"I wouldn't call it a date exactly," Klaus told her. "It's just four people going out to dinner and talking. That's all it is. So will you come?"

"You don't want to go with _me_!" Amy told him. "Talk to your daughters! Get your hands on the plethora of women they've picked out for you as prospective dates and pick one. Any of them would be better than me."

"Are you mad because Felicity and Roxie know about us?" Klaus asked her. "Because I haven't confirmed anything. I've just denied it."

"How could anyone have mistaken our relationship after you asked me about the night I had this morning?" Amy asked. "That was_ not _subtle!"

"Well, I'm sorry!" Klaus replied. "I was just trying to tell you that I had a good time."

"Well, I did too," Amy said. "But given the fact that everyone in the house knows, I think we should stop."

"Why?!" Klaus asked. "Cause you're still stuck on marrying a witch boy?"

"I'm just trying to be realistic," Amy told him. "How long do you think both of us can be happy with just having our relationship be sex?"

"I don't know," Klaus replied. "Selina and I lasted almost ten years."

"Are you telling me that you were honestly able to go ten years of having sex with her and you made no attachment whatsoever?" Amy asked.

Klaus sighed. "Okay, I admit that when she let my brother put her on a ship to America on the night she was supposed to meet my sister Anna and me to go on a train to somewhere else so we could get away from my father...it didn't feel good."

"There you go!" Amy told him. "Emotional attachment. I don't want to hurt you like she did. I don't want us getting really attached only to have your soul crushed because I have to marry a warlock. I just...I just want to do my job, and that's it."

"Well, all right," Klaus nodded. "Thank you for making that abundantly clear." He tried to keep his tone normal, but Amy heard his voice break a little.

"Klaus," she said, reaching out for him. "I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be."

"I get it!" Klaus said through his teeth. "Stop talking and leave me alone. Go find the damn witch boy you want so you can live happily ever after. I don't need you! I don't need you at all!"

He stomped off and Amy said, "Klaus?"

He paused without turning. "What?" He snapped.

"Don't forget we have to bring your car to the shop tomorrow. When would you like to leave here to do that?"

Klaus took a deep breath and closed his eyes. She was _really_ killing his exit. "Who cares? Let's just get it over with as soon as possible so you can get on with finding dates who aren't me."

"How considerate," Amy told him. "Eight-thirty in the morning all right?"

"Fine," Klaus told her. "Whatever."


	12. Watching Out For You

Amy avoided Klaus for the rest of the day, but that night, after she'd prepared for bed, she went to see him.

"What do you want?" He asked when he saw her.

"I just-I came to apologize," Amy told him. "I was really defensive this morning and I'm sorry. It just-It really surprised me when Felicity and Roxie found out and I just...I didn't know what to say to them. I know they don't exactly like me."

Klaus sighed. "Your family would probably have a similar reaction if we went any further with our relationship, wouldn't they?" He asked.

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "They would. Witches are a bit elitist and not the kindest to outsiders. But when I went to talk to Astrid about us, I saw a warlock named Mr. Black who's kind of notorious, you know? Not really known for being the most warm and fuzzy of men, and he'd married Astrid's granddaughter of all people and she's half vampire!"

"Was the young lady's name Lenora by any chance?"

"Yeah," Amy replied in amazement. "How did you know?"

"Cause," Klaus told her. "Lenora isn't just Astrid's granddaughter, if you recall. Adrian is her father, so she's my granddaughter too."

"Oh, my god!" Amy replied. "You realize your granddaughter is married to one of the most feared warlocks ever, right?"

"Well, now I do," Klaus replied. "But that doesn't seem to have upset her much. Him either. They seem happy from what I've heard from Alistair." He grinned. "I've never really met Lenora, but back when Alistair was still allowed to be around me, he used to tell me things about her and what she'd been up to, so I know."

"How nice," Amy grinned. "So Lenora is...happy with Mr. Black?"

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "And he seems to be happy with her. Now, both of them don't have real attachments to their parents like you presumably do, so that makes it easier for them not to _care_ about the scoffs they get for being together when Lenora is a hybrid, but since you're close to your family, I can't blame you for wanting to err on the side of caution and date a warlock instead."

"Thank you," Amy nodded. "Thank you for understanding."

"You're welcome," Klaus replied. "Good night, Amy."

"Good night," Amy replied. "Sweet dreams, Klaus."

* * *

"So," Amy asked the next morning when she strolled into Klaus' bedroom. "What's on the schedule today? Any errands we need to run?"

"We might need to go out and get me some new shirts," Klaus told her. "Tonight, I'm going out with my brother and sister-in-law, remember."

"Yes," Amy nodded. "You'll probably need to get a date too."

"No problem," Klaus said with a grin. "Already taken care of."

"Already?" Amy asked in surprise. "That was quick."

Klaus shrugged. "Well, I already knew you didn't want to come, so I asked Lucy for the number of that pretty lawyer she picked out for me. I think it will be a good night."

"Oh, I bet it will," Amy replied, picking clothes out of his drawers and throwing them at him. "Put those on," she said. "We should probably make a stop at a florist or something after we get you your new clothes. We wouldn't want you to show up on a first date with a woman empty handed, do we?"

"No," Klaus shook his head. "We wouldn't. Cause for all we know, this woman could be the one, right?"

"Sure," Amy nodded as she tried to avoid watching him dress. "She could be the one, so you have to make a good impression."

"I'm done dressing, if that's why you're avoiding looking at me," Klaus told her a few minutes later. "You can turn around now."

"All right," Amy nodded and turned around. They strode from the bedroom and ran into Felicity in the kitchen, eating chocolate chip ice cream right out of the container for breakfast.

"What are you dressed up so early for?" She asked him.

"We're going out to run some errands," Klaus told her. "You get yourself to school on time, all right?"

"Fine," Felicity nodded. "Goodbye."

"Oh, and one more thing," Klaus said.

"What?" Felicity asked, her spoon hanging out of her mouth.

"I'm going out with your mom and your uncle tonight," he said. "I know you probably won't listen to a word I say, but while I'm gone, please try and get _a little_ schoolwork done, all right?"

"All right, daddy," Felicity nodded, swallowing her ice cream. "I'll try."

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to go to dinner with Selina, Elijah, and me?" Klaus asked that night as Amy adjusted his tie and his suit jacket. "You're welcome to come."

"No, thanks," Amy said. "You've already picked someone else and I don't want to get in the way."

"It wouldn't be a problem," Klaus replied. "If you wanted to go, I could just send my date home and you could come instead. What's wrong with that?"

"It doesn't feel right," Amy replied. "You have fun and I'll be here. You can talk to me about it later."

"All right," Klaus sighed. "But you can't say I didn't offer."

A few hours later, his date showed up. "I'm so glad we were able to see each other this time," she said, grinning when she saw him. "The last time I came, you were busy, apparently. My name is Sarah."

"Oh, that," Klaus nodded. "Well, I apologize. Listen, I have to run to my room to get something. You wouldn't mind talking to Amy here while I did that, would you?"

"No," the brunette replied. "I'd be glad to."

"All right," Klaus nodded. "Amy, this is Sarah. Be nice to her." Amy nodded, he left, and the two women stared at one another in awkward silence. "So," Sarah finally said to Amy, "What are you doing here? You're not his girlfriend, are you?"

"No," Amy shook her head. "I'm more like his assistant. I hope you have a good time with him tonight."

"I should," Sarah replied. "Lucy told me he was worth about a gazillion dollars. Is that right, or is it a lie?"

"Are you seriously only after him for his money?" Amy asked.

"No!" Sarah shook her head. "I bet he's great in bed too. What I wouldn't give to see him naked."

She paused when she realized Amy was muttering under her breath. "Are you okay?" She asked.

Amy shook her head and didn't look up. Suddenly, Sarah felt herself begin to choke. She blacked out, slumped on the sofa, and the next thing she knew, she had red hair and was wearing Amy's dress, and was staring at herself on the couch. "What the hell?" She asked. "What did you do?"

"I've just decided I'm going on the date tonight instead of you," Amy replied. "That's not a problem, is it?"

Sarah still looked outraged, but there was nothing she could do. When Klaus came back, he offered Amy his arm. "Ready to go?" He asked her.

"Sure!" She nodded, grinning widely. "Of course!"

"Wait!" Sarah cried. "Don't go out with her!"

"Why not?" Klaus asked. "What's the matter? You're the one who told me that we should date other people. I'm just taking your suggestion."

"Oh, well-" Sarah protested. "I-"

"We should go," Amy said smoothly. "We don't want to be late."

"Right," Klaus nodded, still slightly concerned about 'Amy''s state of mind. After Amy had gotten him out of the house, he said, "I don't know. Maybe we should insist Amy come with us. She's not acting right."

"No," Amy shook her head. "Let's not do that. Let's get to the restaurant now so we won't be late. You know how your brother hates that." She started to push him out the door when he paused. "How do you know about my brother?"

"Oh," Amy giggled nervously. "Lucky guess. Now, are we going, or what?"

Klaus gave her a strange look, but led her out to his car anyway, and they drove to the restaurant, leaving the _real_ Sarah unhappy on the sofa.

* * *

"Well, I don't believe it," Elijah said in amazement as Klaus and Amy strode in the restaurant. "Right on time the both of them. That never happens."

"Amy must be really good for him," Selina agreed as the pair made their way to the table and sat down. "Hi," Selina said, holding her hand out to 'Sarah'. "I'm Selina. Who are you?"

"Sarah," Amy replied deftly. "What's the matter? You look confused."

"Oh, it's nothing," Selina shook her head. "We were just under the impression that Klaus was gonna bring someone else is all, but I'm sure you're nice too."

"Oh?" Amy asked, eyebrow up. "Just who did you think he was gonna bring?"

"Her name is Amy," Selina replied. "I think he really likes her."

"Is that so?" Amy asked.

"Yes," Selina nodded. "But enough about that," she finished as she saw Elijah frowning at her. "Let's talk about what we really came here to talk about." She paused as the waiter came with the wine. "We were early and ordered it," Selina explained. "It's white. I hope you don't mind."

"No," Amy shook her head and took a sip. "That's fine." She paused. "So, what exactly _did_ we come here to talk about?"

"The murders in the woods near our house," Selina said.

"Yeah?" Amy nodded. "What about them?"

"Well," Klaus said, "it was hypothesized by someone I know that my son, Adrian, may have committed those murders. But that's not true, is it, Elijah?"

"No," Elijah sighed. "It was me. And Gregory. Not that I'm proud of it, of course. It was just-It was something that had to be done. For Gregory's sake. I had to make sure that the woman he was after really loved him and wasn't just stringing him along."

"And just who would it be Gregory is after that would drive you to murder?" Klaus asked. "I'm eager to know, brother."

"Well, first," Elijah told him, "keep your voice down, Niklaus. And second...it's Katerina."

"Are you serious?" Klaus asked. "Gregory has allowed himself to fall in love with Katerina Petrova? That must be difficult for you."

"No," Elijah shook his head and pulled Selina to him as he gave her a smile. "Not anymore."

"Yes, yes, yes," Klaus said impatiently. "The two of you are _in love_. I _know_. No need to rub it in." He paused. "So how was the killing? You can't say you didn't enjoy yourself just a little bit?"

Elijah gave Klaus a look and stood up. "Can I see you for just a minute, Niklaus?" He asked and led Klaus away to a corner. "Have you lost your _mind_ Niklaus, openly talking about murder in front of your human date?"

Klaus shrugged. "I was planning on wiping her memory of the conversation afterwards," he said. "Really, you talk as if I'm a fool who doesn't think of these things."

"Usually, you don't!" Elijah replied. "And I have to clean up your messes. That's how it's always been and don't try to tell me different."

"But can't you at least give me credit for having a plan this time?" Klaus asked. "Even if it's one you don't necessarily approve of?"

Elijah sighed. "Fine," he said. "Just make sure you don't forget, all right? We can't have the woman wandering around town shouting about murder."

"Of course," Klaus nodded. "I know we can't."

Elijah gave him one last nod and they headed back to the table. "Everything okay?" Selina asked.

"Yes," Elijah nodded. "Everything is fine." But before they could start talking again, the water came and they ordered dinner. When he'd gone away, Klaus looked at Elijah. "As I was saying," he said. "So brother, how was the killing?"

"Oh, yes, good question!" Selina added. "I've wondered since it happened," she said, giving Klaus a look. "But he refuses to tell me because he thinks it will make me lapse into my bad habits."

"That's not an unreasonable assumption," Klaus told her. "Once you get started tapping into your dark side, it's difficult to bring you back."

"After I got deep enough into it, it was...it was good," Elijah confessed. "I found I liked it. Which is why I can never do it again and the only reason why I even did it this time was to make sure Gregory would always be happy."

"And because you missed him ever since he became a werewolf and you threw him out, right?" Selina added. "But since you and he had this bonding experience, things are better between you now?"

"I didn't kick him out," Elijah corrected. "I gave him the choice to stay and he _chose_ to leave. That's not the same thing."

"Well, of course he chose to leave, what with all the conditions you attached to him staying after he turned," Selina replied. "You completely forced him to deny what he is!"

"Just like Mikael did when it happened to me," Klaus told Elijah. "I assume Selina is referring to Gregory turning into a werewolf?"

"I did what I thought was best," Elijah told him. "I didn't want Gregory killing people just because he could!"

"Well, yes, but that doesn't mean he's horrible, does it?" Klaus asked. "His personality didn't change because he turned."

"Not necessarily," Elijah said. "His werewolf bloodlust was a change for the worse, regardless of the fact that the rest of his personality stayed intact."

"But he's a good kid still," Selina said. "He's got a wife and a child now and that arrangement seems to be going well."

"Well, that's nice!" Amy finally said. She'd been watching them talk and was beginning to wonder if maybe Klaus wasn't the only one in the family who didn't have it all together. "Have either of you seen his child?"

"I have," Selina nodded. "But Elijah hasn't yet. He's planning to, though."

"Yes," Elijah nodded. "I am."

Their dinner came and they ate it in silence, and then, after the check was paid, Klaus took Amy off into a corner, away from everyone. "I know you've probably heard a lot of strange things tonight," he said, locking eyes with her. "And we can't have you shouting them around town, so I'm gonna do you a favor and help you forget them. You have no idea of what happened during our date tonight. You especially didn't hear us talk about murder."

There was a pause, and Amy said, "Oh, but I did. I was sitting right next to you. How could I have missed it?"

"What?" Klaus asked in surprise. "You aren't supposed to remember anything! I compelled you to forget!"

Amy smirked. "You can't compel witches, Junior," she replied and beeped him on the nose as he looked at her in shock. "What do you say we go home now? That was a _lovely_ dinner, wasn't it? But I think I might need to help your brother the way I help you. He doesn't have it as together as I thought he did." They got in the car, and as they drove home, Klaus said, "Why did you end up in my date's body?"

"You're not going to ask how?" Amy asked.

"I don't need to ask how," Klaus replied impatiently. "I've done the body possession trick with Alistair's help dozens of times. But you...I had no idea you'd even _think_ of doing something like this!"

"Well, I did it because your real date was only dating you for your money," Amy said. "And because she wanted to sleep with you. That's not the sort of person you should be with! You should be with someone who is intelligent and kind, and well-organized and doesn't care about your money or how you are in bed! I mean, being skilled in bed is a good bonus, of course, but it shouldn't be everything in a relationship!"

Klaus sighed. "Well, all right," he said. "You've said your piece, now let's go home and you can fix the poor woman."

"All right," Amy pouted. "Fine. But you have to promise never to go out with her again."

"We'll see," Klaus said. "We'll see."

When they arrived home, Felicity met them at the door. "You'll never guess what?" She said. "Amy must've done something weird before she left, cause I think, somehow, she turned your date into her, and herself into your date! She's been mumbling and complaining about it ever since you left."

"Oh, I know already, Lissy," Klaus said. "And she's going to get things back to normal, and then I'll help Sarah forget any of this ever happened."


	13. Without Amy

"So," Lucy said as she stopped by Klaus' the next day along with Roxie. "How were things with Sarah? Did you like her? Please tell me you did."

Klaus sighed. "I didn't really get to meet her, although Amy didn't give her high marks. Apparently she was only after me for my money and because she wanted to sleep with me. Amy says those aren't good qualities in a long-term relationship."

"What does *she* know?" Roxie asked. "How does she even know that a long-term relationship is what you want?"

"Because it *is* what I want, Roxanne!" Klaus told her. "I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life alone because I'm not with your mother."

"Well, if long-term is what you want, that takes all of Roxie's potential dates out of the running," Lucy said as Roxie looked on sourly. "They aren't long-haul types at all. You can't meet your soulmate sitting behind a beer glass."

"That's how I met your mother, actually," Klaus told them. "She was a waitress at a western-themed bar in Paris. She'd bring me drinks and I'd tell her stories about my life, like how I'd once been a friend of the Kaiser in the pre-world war one days, but then I left for England once the Kaiser was no longer in power. And when your mother wasn't bartending, she was singing songs while patrons threw money at her. So I'd say your dates have a chance, Roxanne. If only I can stop Amy from possessing all of them."

"What do you mean?" Lucy asked.

"That pretty lawyer you recommended for me? Sarah." Klaus elaborated. "The brunette? She came by the house for our date, but I had to get something from my room before we left, and while I did that, she sat in the living room with Amy. And while they were chatting, it apparently came out that Sarah was only interested in my money and physical attributes. That made Amy upset, so she cast a spell that put her essence in Sarah's body and Sarah's in Amy's and it was Amy who went on the date and not Sarah."

"Ha!" Roxie giggled. "Take _that_, Lucy!"

"That doesn't prove anything!" Lucy cried. "They can always go on another date!"

"I don't know if I want to," Klaus told her. "Maybe one of you could put me with someone else. Or we could just give dating a break. I think both are good options."

"You can't just give up now because you had one bad experience!" Lucy cried.

"Yeah, Daddy!" Roxie agreed. "Why would you give up now? Is it because you like that Amy woman?"

"What?" Klaus scoffed. "No. And even if I did, she's not an option, all right? She wants to marry a nice witch boy and have nice little witch babies."

"Think about how things ended up between Adrian and Helene," Roxie remided him again. "I think she's doing you a favor."

"Maybe," Klaus sighed. "Or maybe it didn't work out with your brother and Helene because they're both too stubborn to actually _try_ to make it work."

"Look, Daddy," Lucy said and put a hand on his arm. "If you want us to stop so you can just be by yourself, that's okay. We'll support you."

"We will?" Roxie asked.

"Yes," Lucy said firmly through her teeth. "We will."

Klaus sighed. "Well, thank you, girls," he said, getting up from Roxie's sofa. "I'm going home now."

"All right," Lucy told him. "Call us if you need anything."

When he'd shut the door behind him, Roxie punched Lucy in the arm.

"Ow!" She cried. "What was _that_ for?"

"I can't believe you just told him it was okay for him to give up like that!" Roxie cried. "A few more dates wouldn't hurt him!" She paused. "And god, how horrible was the woman you set him up with to make him want to give up on dating altogether?"

"I don't think she was horrible," Lucy said. "I think it was all a misunderstanding. Or he could just like Amy and that's why he's not interested in anyone else."

"Why would he like Amy?" Roxie asked. "She's completely annoying!"

"No, she's not," Lucy shook her head. "She's a lot like Mom. Or has it been so long since you've been around Mom that you've forgotten what she's like?"

"How do you know so much about what Amy is like?" Roxie asked.

"I heard things from Uncle Elijah and Mom," Lucy replied. "We talk sometimes. You and Mom never talk?"

"No," Roxie shook her head. "Not really."

"_Anyway_," Lucy said, "if it_ is_ Amy he likes, we'll support him, because the whole point of this is that he is our father and we want him to be happy, right?"

"Well, yeah," Roxie nodded. "But that doesn't mean _we_ shouldn't have any say in who he dates. I mean, whomever he dates and eventually marries is the one we'll have to stare at every Thanksgiving and call 'Mom'. Did you think of that Lucy, before you let him loose on the dating world to be with whomever he wants?"

"I'm sure we won't have to call her 'Mom'." Lucy said. "And Amy is not the worst he could do. He could do _much_ worse. I think Amy is nice."

"Good lord," Roxie mumbled. "It's just like Caroline Forbes all over again."

* * *

"Are you mad at me for what I did to your last date?" Amy asked. "If you want me to apologize for what I did, I'm not going to."

"Why not?" Klaus asked. "I know that your job is to look after me and make it so I don't screw up my life, but you don't really need to possess my dates. I can handle myself. I'm a big boy."

Amy's tongue ran over her lips. "Yes you are," she thought to herself, and then shook her head.

"Are you all right?" Klaus asked.

"Yes," Amy nodded. "I'm fine."

"Speaking of other dates," Klaus said, "When are you planning on getting some of your own?"

"Well," Amy cleared her throat. "It's hard to get dates with warlocks because honestly, there are fewer of them than you might think. Witch biology naturally favors women, so when you_ do _have a warlock that's around, he's rarely available. I could ask my parents for a list of potential warlocks, but who knows when a date would actually happen, or even if I could get this hypothetical warlock to settle down with me? I might have to end up settling for a human! It's a strange thought. And not one that my parents would look forward to. We've been lucky enough to be full witches and warlocks since time began, though other families aren't so lucky."

"So you're gonna talk to your parents, then?"

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I may have to. Would you be all right here by yourself for a few days if I did?"

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "I _am_ capable of managing my own life without help, I just don't do as good of a job as people think I should. So you can just go and pack your bags and be on your way whenever you feel like it."

"All right," Amy nodded. "I think I'll leave tomorrow. My mother has been nagging me to come visit anyway and tell her all about the new job Astrid got me."

"You don't have to be completely honest," Klaus told her. "If you are, she might order you to get a new position. And I don't want that."

"Well, of course there _will_ be certain things I leave out," Amy replied. "Like all the times I've gone to bed with you. My parents could probably live full, happy lives without hearing about that."

Klaus grinned. "Yeah, I bet they could. So you'll leave tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I think I will. Don't worry though; I'll leave you a list of things to do to occupy yourself and I think you'll get through it. I'll only be gone a few days. I promise."

"All right," Klaus nodded. "I hope you enjoy yourself."

* * *

The next morning, Klaus was awakened early by Amy, who was sitting on the edge of his bed and clutching a carpet bag in each hand. "I wanted to say goodbye to you before I left," she whispered. "Sorry I woke you up."

"No," Klaus shook his head. "I'm glad you did. Thank you." He got out of bed and Amy's eyes widened as she realized he wasn't wearing anything.

"Don't you have boxers or something you could put on?" Amy asked. "You know, just for modesty's sake?"

"Oh, please," Klaus shook his head. "This is my room so I don't have to wear clothes if I don't want to, and you've already seen me naked." He gestured at himself. "It's not like all of this is new to you." He paused. "Or will it be hard to keep your mind on dating witch boys if the last memory you have of me for awhile is that of my stunning physique?"

Amy blinked and looked up at his face. "What?" She asked. "Could you repeat that?"

"Never mind." Klaus grinned and shook his head, putting a pair of boxers on.

"All right," Amy nodded. "I better go. I'll call you tonight, okay?"

"All right," Klaus nodded. He paused. "Wait a minute, why are you leaving so early? Couldn't you just zap yourself to your parents' house?"

"I could," Amy nodded. "But I like the drive. It's nice." She turned once more and heard him clear his throat. "What?" She asked.

Klaus stared at her for a long moment, then bounded toward her and took her in his arms, kissing her deeply. She was so shocked, she let go of her bags, and even though one landed on Klaus' bare foot and he groaned in pain, he still didn't pull his lips from hers. His hands went down her back, and over her bottom, squeezing gently as she put her arms around his neck. When she felt his hands slide her skirt up, she pulled away. "All right," she said. "I have to go." She was flushed. "Thanks for that. That's better than coffee. I know I won't be falling asleep behind the wheel."

"You're welcome," Klaus replied, and lightly spanked her. "You better get going. Unless you don't want to leave and want to stay here forever. That's okay with me too."

"No," Amy shook her head. "I'll be going now." That was when she actually left for real. Klaus put on a shirt and followed her out to her car, watching her drive away. Then, when she was gone, he went back into the house, had a drink, and turned on the television. About an hour later, Felicity came out and got cereal, then sat next to him on the sofa. "Are you okay, Daddy?" She asked.

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "Amy just headed out to see her parents today and I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself while she's gone."

"Huh," Felicity nodded. "That's cool."

"What's going on in here?" Stefan said.

"Amy's left and Daddy's thinking of what to do with himself," Felicity told him.

Stefan grinned. "While the cat's away, the mice will play! Why don't we go out and have some fun! I mean, even your _brother_ has had more fun than you, and you know...he's your brother!"

"Yeah!" Felicity nodded. "Go ahead and do it! We promise we won't tell anyone!"

Klaus sighed. "Well, I suppose I _have_ been letting myself get a little soft lately," he said. "Why not?" He paused. "So where will we go for breakfast?"

"I wanna try that park where your brother and your nephew went," Stefan replied. "Sounds like it was just full of people ripe for the picking!"

"All right," Klaus nodded. "Let me get dressed, then we'll go."

"I need to as well," Stefan said. When he began to walk away, Felicity picked up her cereal bowl and followed him to his room. "Oh, that's okay," she said. "You don't need to ask me to come with you. It's not like _I_ wanted to go."

"Good," Stefan replied. "I'm glad you understand that sometimes your father and I need time to do manly things together without you getting in the way. Besides, you're eating cereal. What do you need to go hunting with us for? That and a blood bag and you're taken care of for the day."

"Daddy!" Felicity stomped out. "Stefan says I can't come with you!"

"Not this time," Klaus told her. "But next time, we'll make sure to bring you with us."

Felicity glared at Stefan. "Someone will be sleeping on the sofa tonight."

He grinned. "You are? How nice. More room in my bed and no one stealing the covers."

Felicity growled and went to the kitchen to finish her cereal, then Stefan and Klaus left to go hunting without another word to her.


	14. The Blind Date

"It's a great night we had, wasn't it?" Stefan asked Felicity.

"Yeah," Felicity nodded. "Better than going to a stupid prom! I can't believe Daddy thought I wanted to go!"

"Or that I would be nice enough to just take you," Stefan grinned.

"Did you see Aunt Lucy's face when she saw us on the other side of the door?" Felicity asked, giggling. "I've never seen such shock in my life! Your brother took it better."

"Well, that's because he doesn't know you like Lucy does *and* his relationship with Lucy is similar to whatever you want to call what we have going on here," Stefan replied. "It shouldn't be a shock."

Just then, there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" Felicity called.

"So how was the evening?" Amy asked, coming to sit on the bed. "Your father wants to know, but thought it would be less intrusive if I asked."

"You can tell him we had a good time," Felicity said.

"Well, good!" Amy said. "I always loved the idea of dances, but I went to an all-girls' school and we didn't have many, and usually when we did, we just danced with each other." She sighed. "Does your dad know how to dance by any chance?"

Felicity nodded. "He's a thousand years old. He better."

Amy nodded. "I think I'll go ask," she said and left Felicity and Stefan alone again.

* * *

"Thank you for taking me dancing," Amy told Klaus as they spun around one of the large, empty rooms in Klaus' house. "Felicity said you were good."

Klaus twirled her. "I'm surprised you asked me. I thought you were going to be all about the witch boy now?" He pulled her to him so that their hips and bellies were touching. Amy's eyes widened a little, but she managed to keep her composure. "About that...my parents did manage to find someone for me, but it was gonna take him awhile to get to their house. I told them I couldn't afford to take time off of work, so I gave Mom your address and told her to send him here. That's all right, isn't it?" She paused. "Please tell me it is."

"Of course," Klaus nodded. "I'll probably have a date when he comes too, so it won't bother me."

"Good," Amy nodded. "Great." He dipped her. "He's really nice," Amy said. "The guy. His name's Aaron."

"Oh?" Klaus' eyebrow went up. "Well, I hope you two will be very happy."

"Well, thank you," Amy replied. "But let's not jump the gun. I've not even met him yet, so who knows if he'll make me happy? He could be completely horrible."

"If he is," Klaus said as he pulled her to him again, "Just tell me, and I won't hesitate to throw him out on his ass." He paused. "So when is it that he's coming?"

"I don't know," Amy shrugged. "Probably in the next couple of days. That doesn't give me a lot of time to tie up my loose ends."

"This life change of yours won't mean you'll be gone forever, will it?" Klaus asked. "I mean, I'll still see you every day?"

"Of course!" Amy assured him. "Just because I'm going to get married, that won't interfere with my work."

"Hang on!" Klaus told her. "You said there was a possibility that you might not marry him! What if you hate him?"

Amy sighed. "I wish I had more options, but I don't. If I want to stay on good terms with my parents, I have to marry a warlock, and Aaron is the first one they could find. I can't just let him go. Who knows if another man will ever show up for me to have a second chance?"

Klaus nodded. "Well, all right," Klaus nodded. "I see your mind is made up and I won't stand in your way anymore."

"Thank you for understanding," Amy told him as they stopped dancing and she stood in the circle of his arms and sighed. "Look," she said. "If things were different, I'd definitely want to stay here with you."

"You would?" Klaus asked, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I would. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to leave my family behind for love. I really am. But I just...I can't."

"I know," Klaus sighed. "You don't have to apologize. Maybe it's for the best. It's possible that if we were together, we'd end up fighting like Adrian and Helene do, and I just...I don't want that. We get along too well for me to want it to be ruined. All I want is for you to be happy, and if the way that will happen is for you to go off and marry a warlock and have a bunch of pretty witch babies, that's what you should do."

Amy smiled. "Thank you for understanding," she said. Then she clapped her hands and smiled. "But I don't have to be married yet. Let's make the best out of the time we have."

Klaus raised an eyebrow. "So do you want to race me to the bedroom, or what?"

"No," Amy shook her head. "That's not what I meant. We already decided we weren't gonna have sex anymore, remember?"

"Yes," Klaus sighed. "I guess." He paused. "Now I'm so sad I think I need a hug." He grinned and held his arms out.

Amy considered him. "You don't look at that sad to me."

Klaus fixed his face in a pout. "Is that better?"

Amy giggled. "A little."

"So do I get my hug, or not?"

"Fine," Amy replied. "You get your hug." She put her arms around him and hugged him hard while Klaus leaned close and inhaled the scent of her hair, which smelled like violets. They hugged for a few minutes and then Amy said, "You can let go now."

"Not until you let go first," Klaus told her.

"I'm not gonna let go first," Amy told him. "You let go first!" She, (although she was loath to admit it) was really enjoying resting in his muscular arms and didn't want to let him go either.

They stood there for a few seconds, staring up at each other, and then Amy took a deep breath. "Okay," she told him. "On the count of three, we'll both let go at the same time. One...two...THREE!" They let go and stepped back, blinking at one another. "I'm gonna go do some laundry now," Amy told Klaus. "Thanks for the dance."

"Well, would you like me to help you?" Klaus asked. "Because I will. And by the way, what did Stefan and Felicity tell you about prom?"

"They said they had fun," Amy replied. "And you don't need to help me with my laundry, but you're sweet to ask."

"There's not even just the tiniest bit of help I can offer?" Klaus asked. "I can help fold."

"I don't know," Amy said. "I'm gonna be washing my panties and I don't know if it's a good idea to have you touching them."

"You never complained before!" Klaus pointed out. "What's the problem now?"

"The problem is," Amy replied, "That I don't want to get your hopes up and make you continue to feel things for me when I have to go be with someone else! It wouldn't be right!"

"You don't _have_ to do anything!" Klaus told her. "Especially not this! You just think you do because your parents have been bossing you around and putting it in your head your whole life." He paused. "I mean, look at my granddaughter, Lenora. She married a warlock and there's no problem between them."

"Well, yeah, but see, _she_ married Mr. Black and his family has been dead for years, plus doesn't she sort of hate her parents?" Amy asked. "So giving them up is not a problem. I, on the other hand, would have to have a really good reason to give up my family, since there's nothing between us that creates cause for estrangement."

"But let's say that you and I were in a relationship," Klaus said. "Would it be a strong enough reason to give up your family?"

"In that case, I wouldn't have to give them up," Amy replied. "They'd disown me first."

"See, that's what I can't get past," Klaus told her. "To please your parents, you're giving up the opportunity to be with someone you really love so you can be married to the son-in-law they think they ought to have so as not to spoil the perfect family record of magical people marrying other magical people. How is that fair to you?"

"The world isn't always fair," Amy told him. "Don't you know that?"

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "When my family first found out I was a vampire-werewolf hybrid, they tried to kill me. My stepfather has been trying to kill me for years just because my mother was unfaithful to him and I was the evidence of it. So of course I know the world isn't fair."

Amy sighed. She could feel tears starting to form. Finally, she reached out and laid a hand on his arm. "I'm gonna go do my laundry now," she said. "I would love it if you'd help me fold."

"Okay!" Klaus replied brightly and waited while she did each load. When she brought out her panties, he picked up a lacy red pair and a silky black pair that were tiny enough to fit in his closed fist when wadded up. "I'm keeping these," he said.

"No, you aren't!" Amy told him. "Give them back."

"Why?" Klaus asked. "Your boring husband won't appreciate them. Not like me."

"Well, are you planning on wearing them yourself?" Amy asked. "Is that why you're planning on taking them away?"

"No!" Klaus shook his head. "I just want something to remember you by."

"'Remember me by'?" Amy repeated. "Klaus, I'm not leaving forever. I'll still be working for you even after I get married. I just won't be living here anymore." She held out her hand. "Now give me back my panties!"

"Am I interrupting something?" Stefan asked. "If I am than I'll go."

"No," Amy shook her head and pried Klaus' fist open to retrieve her panties. "We're done here." She put them in the laundry bag with the other clothes and strode out.

"What was _that_ about?" Stefan asked.

"Nothing," Klaus shook his head. "I think I need to go out again. A good kill will take my mind off things.

"All right," Stefan nodded. "We will. But what's so special about her that she's got you so worked up?"

"It's nothing," Klaus shook his head. "I'll get over it. She's leaving to marry someone else. She's probably doing me a favor, really."

"Yeah," Stefan agreed. "Because I mean think about it: Helene was nice at first, but then she showed her true colors and look at her and Adrian now: they're a total mess. Someday, you'll be glad you were saved from that, and that Amy is somebody else's problem."

"We should probably go tell Felicity what we're doing," Klaus reminded Stefan. "Remember, we told her we'd take her along the next time we went out?"

"All ready taken care of," Stefan replied as Felicity appeared. "Are we going now?" She asked. "Because I _really_ wanna go."

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "We'll go." The three of them headed toward the front door, but before they left, Klaus called, "Amy, we're going out! We'll be back later!"

"All right!" Amy replied. "If you're going hunting, be sure to be careful and cover your tracks, okay? We don't want people catching on to you because you were careless!"

"Well!" Stefan replied once they were outside. "That wasn't the reply I was expecting. I was thinking she'd scold you for being a bad person who was killing innocent people. That's what Helene would have said to Adrian."

"Well, lucky for me," Klaus said, "Amy understands that killing people is part of being a vampire and I'm not just doing it to be nasty. That's part of it, but not all of it."

"Why are we still talking?" Felicity said as they got in the car. "Let's go and cause some chaos!"

"You heard what the lady said," Stefan said to Klaus. "Let's not sit here anymore. Let's get you cheered up."

* * *

They returned a few hours later. Klaus had been particularly messy, and when he entered the house, he had blood all over his mouth and down the front of his shirt. He went to wash it off, but then paused at the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. Then, he turned away, and went into Amy's room, staring down at her sleeping form. He then leaned down and kissed her gently on the cheek, leaving a small blood spot. As he stood up, she opened her eyes and looked up at him. Her eyes widened momentarily in fear for a moment and she burrowed into her covers before realization hit her and she said, "Klaus, is that you?"

"Yeah," Klaus nodded. "I just-I came in to say goodnight."

"Thanks," Amy nodded. "Make sure you look in the mirror before you go to bed. You've got something on your face."

"I will," Klaus nodded. "Goodnight, Amy."

"Good night," Amy replied.

The days passed and finally, it was the day Amy was supposed to meet Aaron. "Are you excited?" Felicity asked as Klaus stared morosely at the door.

"It's something I'm looking forward to," Amy admitted. "But at the same time, it's, in essence, a blind date, so who knows?"

"Wait," Felicity said to her. "You haven't even dated the guy yet and you think you're gonna marry him?"

"She thinks she doesn't have a choice," Klaus told Felicity. "Even though she does and she knows it."

"Klaus, please," Amy begged. "Don't make this any harder for me than it already is."

Klaus nodded. "You're right," he said. "I'm sorry. I promised I wasn't going to say anything cause it's really not my business."

"Thank you," Amy replied.

"Wow," Felicity said. "This is just another reason why I'm glad I was raised here and not by my birth parents. Who knows the sort of person Helene would have stuck me with? She probably wouldn't have let me pick the guy I wanted because she did that with Adrian and it was absolute hell for them. She'd probably say she was just saving me from myself."

Klaus nodded. "Considering that she wanted you raised entirely as a witch with your vampirism being seen as only an afterthought, that's not an unwarranted assumption."

"Let's try and be positive," Amy told them. "He could be a very nice person for all we know."

"Or he could be a big jerk," Felicity said. "That's a possibility too."

Amy grinned. "I'm touched at your concern for me."

"Well," Felicity shrugged. "I've gotten used to you. You're sort of like the mom I wish Helene would have been."

"Well, like I told Klaus," Amy replied, "I won't be gone forever. I just won't be living here anymore. You'll still see me during the day."

Felicity nodded and leaned against Stefan, who tensed for a few seconds and then relaxed, putting an arm around her shoulders.

They sat in silence until the doorbell rang and every one of them jumped.

"I'll get it!" Klaus replied.

"No, you won't!" Amy said, gently shoving him out of the way as she headed toward the door. She put her hand on the doorknob and then realized he was still standing behind her.

"Will you go sit on the sofa?" She asked him. "Or better yet, go to your room?"

"No," Klaus smirked. "I'm happy where I am, thank you." Amy narrowed her eyes and flicked her wrist, which made Klaus disappear, and reappear on his bed, the door closing after him. Smiling with satisfaction, she opened the door to see a young man with dark hair and earnest brown eyes looking back at her.

"Sorry it took so long for me to answer the door," she said, taking note of his suit and good posture. He came in and she shut the door behind him. "You must be Aaron," she said, taking his hand in hers for a moment and then letting go. "I'm Amy."

"Nice to meet you," Aaron told her. "Your parents weren't exaggerating when they told me how pretty you are."

Just then, Felicity strode up to him. "What kind of an opening line is that?" She asked. "Couldn't you have come up with something better?"

"Well, honestly, I don't have a lot to go on," Aaron told her. "This is the first time I've met her."

"What do you do for a job?" Felicity asked. "Or do you even work at all?"

"I'm a doctor," Aaron replied. "I know how to do both magical and mortal medicine."

"Do you?" Amy asked, a twinkle in her eye. "How fascinating! How did you get your parents to let you go work with humans?"

"It was my father's idea," Aaron replied as Amy ushered him to the sofa. "His mother was human and she got sick, and no one could find a cure for her, so she died. Dad didn't want other people to go through the pain of losing a relative, so he got me through medical school, and then I spent four more years learning to be a healer. My grades were good enough that I got through school on a medical scholarship from the Council."

"The witches' council gave you a scholarship to get through medical school?" Amy asked. "How nice!"

He shrugged. "It's no better than what you do," Aaron said. Amy put up a hand and they heard a door slam and a cry. "Thank you," she said. "Helping people figure out their lives...it's a tough job. Some people are bigger messes than others."

"What did you do that for?" Klaus asked, coming out holding onto his nose. "Did you really have to slam the door in my face?"

"You were gonna leave your room too soon," Amy said. "I wanted there to be at least one decent exchange between Aaron and me before you met him."

Aaron saw Klaus and stood up. "Hi," He said, holding out his hand. "I'm Aaron. And you are?"

Klaus didn't take his hand and just glared at him.

"This is Klaus," Amy told Aaron. "He's my employer at the moment." She paused. "And he's also a vampire."

"Hybrid, actually," Klaus corrected her. "I'm a vampire _and_ a werewolf." Aaron's eyes widened. "You know, that's funny. A woman I know named Helene Fale married a guy who was a vampire-werewolf hybrid. No surprise they're on the outs now. I hear he had a really bad temper and-"

"That's my son," Klaus interrupted. "Do you have anything more to say?"

"No," he doesn't," Amy told Klaus. "Aaron, let's go now. That might be best."

"You take care of her!" Felicity called out after them. "I like you now, but if you aren't good to her, that could change! She's the closest thing to a mother that I have!"

When they were gone, she closed the door and looked at Klaus. "I like him!"

"I don't," Klaus said. "I don't like him one bit."

"Because he was mean about Adrian?" Felicity asked. "He may have been harsh, but he wasn't exactly wrong, was he?"

"I don't care!" Klaus snapped. "I don't want Amy with him and he will be gone if it's the last thing I do!"


	15. A Big Gamble

"How exactly are you planning to split Aaron and Amy up?" Felicity asked her father."And how can you even be sure it's a good idea? She likes him and I think she might hate you if you break them up!"

"I have a perfect plan!" Klaus told her. "You remember that night I was supposed to go out with Sarah and Amy cast that spell to possess her body?"

"Yeah," Felicity nodded. "What about it?"

"I've done it before myself," Klaus told her. "I used to do it quite a lot, actually. Of course, that was when I had Alistair at my beck and call. Now, finding a willing witch or warlock is going to be more difficult."

"If I knew how to do that spell, I would do it for you," Felicity told him. "Just to prove that you're wrong about Amy and Aaron and worrying for no reason."

"Who's side are you on anyway?" Klaus frowned at her. "If you can't do it, I suppose I can always ask your sister. That's what I'll do. If anyone will be sympathetic to my plight, it will be Lenora."

"And just how are you planning to get to Lenora?" Felicity asked. "She lives in the magical dimensions. You can't just *go* there!"

"I'll find a way," Klaus told her. "Believe me, I'll find a way."

* * *

"Grandpa?" Lenora asked when she opened the door and saw Klaus on the other side. "How did you get here?"

"I came through Astrid's closet," Klaus replied. "I heard that was the way."

"Hi, person!" Susanna greeted him and reached out.

"This is Susanna," Lenora told Klaus as she handed Susanna over. "She likes meeting new people."

Klaus grinned at the little girl. "Well, she's adorable! Has Adrian met her yet?"

"Not technically, no," Lenora said. "I hope he will someday, though." They sat down on the sofa and Lenora said, "are you just here for a visit, or...?"

"I need a favor," Klaus said. "It's a bit unethical, but I remember you sent your uncle Elijah through time when you were little and didn't even bat an eye."

"It doesn't surprise me that you want something unethical from me," Lenora told him. "Just what is it?"

"I need you to put me in someone else's body," Klaus told her. "Do you know the spell?"

"Well, yeah," Lenora nodded. "But why do you need that?"

"You know your Grandma Astrid sent a woman named Amy to work for me, right?"

"Yeah," Lenora nodded. "I heard that."

"Well," Klaus continued, "She's dating a warlock now, and I'm concerned she's making a mistake."

Lenora grinned. "Do you like her?"

"Maybe just a little," Klaus conceded.

Lenora thought a moment. "I'll do the spell," she said. "But only if, after I meet Amy and her boyfriend and see them interact, I see your concerns are justified. You don't want to make a rash judgment on something like this." She paused. "Don't let a really strong sexual connection, if there is one, be the deciding factor for you when it comes to being with Amy. I think that's what got Mom and Dad in trouble and I don't want you and Amy going through the same thing."

Klaus sighed. "But how am I supposed to get them here?" He asked. "What excuse should I use?"

"They don't have to come here," Lenora told him. "I can come to your house just as easily. I don't know how long it's been since I've visited you anyway."

"Your sister will probably enjoy seeing you," Klaus replied. "Let's do that."

"All right," Lenora nodded. "When would you like to do it?"

Klaus shrugged. "I don't know. In a week, maybe? At seven in the evening?"

"All right," Lenora nodded. "Sounds good to me."

Klaus then picked up Susanna and began wandering around the house. He came upon a half open door and knocked. "Come in," said a little girl's voice. He opened it and saw his niece Margaret sitting on the bed and reading. "Hi, Uncle Klaus!" She said brightly. "I didn't know you were here!"

"I just came to ask Lenora for a favor," He said, coming in and sitting down next to her. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Mommy and Daddy decided to take Annaliese to the zoo because they don't pay as much attention to her as they do to me, and I said I wanted to come here while they did that, so here I am," Margaret told him. "And there's something else, too."

"What's that?" Klaus asked. Just then, Henry strode in. "Here's your juice," he told Margaret. Then, he saw Klaus. "Who are you?" He asked.

"This is my Uncle Klaus," Margaret told him. "He came to talk to your mommy."

"Oh!" Henry nodded, and then looked down at his sister, who was still firmly attached to Klaus. "I see my sister likes you."

Klaus nodded. "And I like her too. So, what's your name?"

"I'm Henry," Henry replied.

"Show him the magic trick you do!" Margaret told him. "The body switching one!"

Klaus raised an eyebrow. "You can do a body switching trick?"

"Yeah!" Henry nodded. He went and got Rusty and told Klaus to sit Susanna down on the floor. He mumbled some words under his breath and suddenly, Susanna started barking in a very realistic way while Rusty ran at Klaus, saying " Yay, person! Yay, person!"

"I did it!" Henry cried, turning to Margaret. "See? I did it!"

"You did!" Margaret cried. "Now you should probably undo it before your mommy finds out, Henry."

"Very impressive," Klaus said. "That's exactly what I need your mother to do for me."

"I could do it," Henry said as he undid the spell.

"I think you're too young," Klaus told him, ruffling his hair. "But thank you."

"What's going on in here?" Lenora asked, poking her head through the door "What was all the barking?" She saw Henry and Klaus near each other and smiled. "How nice, Henry. You've met your great grandfather!"

"He's Margaret's uncle, Mommy!" Henry said. "I think you made a mistake!"

"No, I didn't!" Lenora shook her head. "He's Margaret's daddy's brother, so he's her uncle, and he's my grandfather, so he'd be your great-grandfather."

"Oh," Henry nodded, still not quite getting it. "Okay."

"Henry was just showing me how he does the body-switching trick," Klaus told Lenora. "He's very skilled for such a young boy."

Lenora nodded. "And very precocious too." She looked at Margaret. "I'm gonna go get some fresh air. Would you like to come with me?"

"Sure!" Margaret said, and walked out of the room.

"I'll just stay here," Henry told Lenora as he kept his eyes locked on Margaret. When they were gone, Klaus grinned. "What?" He asked. "Why did you look at Margaret like that?"

"Cause I'm gonna marry her some day," Henry replied. "That's why!"

Klaus grinned. "Such certainty from a child so young. That's unusual. So is a young man marrying his..." Klaus thought a moment. "Great-great aunt, I think?"

Henry shook his head. "Margaret isn't my aunt!"

Klaus nodded. "I think she is."

"I don't care!" Henry said resolutely. "I'm gonna marry her anyway!"

"All right, all right," Klaus put up his hands. "You're going to marry her. You seem like a very determined little boy. I have no doubt you'll find a way to get what you want when you're older."

Henry nodded. "Damn right!" He said with feeling, pumping his fist. Klaus smiled at the little boy. "So," he said. "What do you want to do until your mother and Margaret come back?"

Henry shrugged. "Anything. I don't care." Klaus decided to help him with his sword fighting until Margaret and Lenora returned. They made plans for Lenora and James to come over for dinner to observe Amy and Aaron, and then Klaus left, with pep in his step and a light feeling in his body. He was gonna separate Amy and Aaron, and he was gonna separate them soon.

* * *

Until the night of the dinner, however, he went on more dates, the process of which drove his two daughters to distraction.

"Dad," Lucy said after her father had rejected the fifth woman that week, which had been her choice. "What was wrong with this one?"

"Her eyes were off center!" Klaus complained. "It distracted me all night!"

"Her eyes were fine!" Lucy said. Her legendary patience and composure were starting to dwindle. Long periods of exposure to her father had that effect. "Daddy, do you realize that this is the fifth woman you've rejected this week? When you add them to all the other women you've rejected, I have to wonder if you're even putting forth any effort at all." Her eyes traveled to Roxie, who was about to open her mouth. "And don't you _dare_ suggest we go see Mom, Roxie. That won't help anything."

"I wasn't gonna say that," Roxie said. "I was just gonna say that maybe we should take a break, or let _him_ choose the next person he dates. Maybe we're doing something wrong."

"Huh," Lucy said. "Look at that. Roxie admitting she might be wrong. I'll give it all a rest just for that."

"Really, I think that might be a good idea," Klaus told her. "Just for a few days. I have an idea in the works and if it doesn't work out, the two of you can start setting me up on dates again."

"All right," Lucy told him. "Do whatever you think is right, Daddy." She got up to leave and Roxie reluctantly followed her. "I can't believe you said that we might be doing something wrong," Lucy told her sister. "That is very astute of you."

Roxie sighed. "I have a nagging feeling Daddy already likes somebody," she said. "I don't know who, though. Maybe that Amy woman." She shuddered. "I hope it's not her. That would just be a nightmare!"

"Oh, I don't think she's that bad," Lucy replied. "And if she makes him happy, that's a good thing."

They drove away and Klaus called Amy to help him get things ready for dinner. "This is really so sweet of you to host Aaron and me," Amy told him. "I know our relationship is not your favorite thing, so I'm just very glad for the support."

"No problem," Klaus told her. "And I think you'll like my granddaughter. She's bringing her husband too."

"Mr. Black," Amy nodded. "He was a very notorious man once. He punished people who used their magic to mess with love for three-hundred years, but then he met Lenora and completely changed, it seems. He's working in law-enforcement now, but lots of people still fear him."

"Well, it will be an interesting dinner then, won't it?" Klaus replied with a wolfish grin.

After Lenora and James arrived, there was a problem with the seating. Aaron, of course, sat by Amy, but Klaus sat on her other side, despite a stern look from Lenora that told him plainly he should sit somewhere else.

"How am I supposed to judge how they are as a couple if you're sitting next to Amy and getting in the way?" Lenora asked Klaus when she pulled him into the kitchen.

"Relax, Lenora," James told her as he took a bite from an apple. "If you can't tell how things are between them already, you aren't paying enough attention."

"Oh?" Lenora asked. "And what makes _you_ such an expert?"

"Experience," James replied after he swallowed. "They might seem like they like each other to you, but they seem awkward to me. When you asked them if they liked each other, what did they say?"

Lenora thought. "He said she was 'suitable', and she said that he 'seemed nice'."

"Uh-huh," James nodded. "Not exactly mad with passion for each other, are they?"

"Just because they aren't seemingly passionate about each other doesn't mean we should get in the way of their relationship," Lenora told him. "I say we should just let them be."

"I don't know," James told her. "I think if we don't do anything, it will be bad for both of them."

"Are you _insane_?" Lenora asked. "You of all people should know what will happen if you use your magic to break those two up and it turns out they really loved each other after all. How can you want to risk your reputation and life for a gamble?"

"Sometimes, a gamble is worth the risk," James told her. "Lucky for Amy, I'm a risk-taking man!"

Lenora was about to respond, but was interrupted by Amy. "Everything all right in here?" She asked.

"Yes," James nodded. "Fine. We were just preparing to come back."

"Good," Amy said. "I was beginning to think there was a problem."

Lenora resentfully followed Klaus and James back to the table, but instead of sitting next to her husband, she sat across from him and glared.

"I honestly think you're making a big mistake with Aaron and Amy," She said to him as they left. "And I think nothing good will come of it!"

"That's your opinion," James told her. "But you have to trust me. I know what I'm doing in this case. Do the spell for your grandfather."

"No," Lenora shook her head. "If you and he want it done so badly, you do it!"

"All right," James nodded. "I will!"

* * *

A few days later, James headed back to Klaus'. "Okay," he said. "Let's get our hands on that Aaron fellow and do that body-switching spell!"

"It's gonna be more difficult now," Klaus told him. "They're on their honeymoon. And how come you're here and not Lenora?"

"Because Lenora didn't think the risk was worth it," James told him. "But I'm the one with the experience and I say it _is_ worth it to get Amy with the man she likes, even if we have to use underhanded means to make it happen." He paused. "Are you ready to go?"

"How can we go?" Klaus asked. "We don't have any idea where they are!"

"Has Amy left anything here?" James asked him. "A sweater, or a jacket, maybe?"

Klaus pointed to a blue sweater draped over the arm of one of the sofas. "That's hers."

"All right," James picked it up. "We have to both be holding it," he said. Klaus got hold of the sweater, and then James whispered some words, there was a _whoosh_, and when Klaus opened his eyes again, they were in a sumptuously decorated hotel room. Just then, they heard the door to the patio open and Amy stepped inside the room, starting at the sight of them. "What are _you two_ doing here?" She asked, removing the floppy hat she was wearing. "Klaus, if you needed something, you could have just called."

"We need to speak to Aaron, actually," James said. "Where is he?"

Amy sighed. "On the golf course," she said. "Just like every day. It's either the golf course or the bar. Heaven forbid we actually do something _together_."

"Well, would you like us to stay until he comes back?" Klaus asked.

"Why not?" Amy asked. "I could use the company." They chatted until Amy decided she wanted to take a nap, then Klaus and James went out into the hallway to wait for Aaron's return. And when Aaron came back, they grabbed him, and spirited him out of the hotel before he could make a sound.


	16. All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You

As James and Klaus worked on subduing Aaron, Amy poked her head out the door. "Aaron?" She called. "Is that you? Are you finally back?"

"You go to her," James whispered to Klaus. "If she's looking for him now, we can't have her get suspicious. It will ruin everything!"

"All right," Klaus nodded and went back to Amy. "Hi," he told her.

"Hi," she replied. "I heard a noise out here and thought maybe it was Aaron coming back. He should be soon, you know. It's our wedding night tonight. But if he skips that too, I wouldn't be surprised."

"I just can't believe you're married already," Klaus told her. "Don't you think you're going a bit fast?"

"Maybe," Amy nodded. "But since this is practically an arranged marriage, my parents figured, 'What's the point in waiting?' and here I am. At this nice hotel. On a honeymoon, all by myself." She sighed sadly. Klaus reached out and touched her hand. "I'm sorry," he said.

Amy nodded. "Thanks," she replied. "You do know that if things were different, I'd want to be with you, right?"

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "I know, and I'm glad you say so. But some things just can't be changed, can they?"

"No," Amy shook her head. "Not if I want to maintain a good relationship with my parents, that is."

Just then, Klaus' phone rang. "I got him to the car," James told him. "Are you coming, or not?"

"I'll be there in a minute," Klaus replied. He hung up his phone and looked apologetically at Amy. "I have to go," he said. "Sorry."

"Well, if you see Aaron, tell him I'm waiting."

"Don't worry," Klaus told her. "He'll be back in time for you to have your wedding night tonight. I can guarantee that."

Amy nodded. "I hope so."

Klaus gave her one more long look and then ran out to his car, where James stood in exasperation. "What took you so long?" He asked.

"I ran into Amy," Klaus told him. "She heard us and I had to make sure she didn't get suspicious."

"All right," James nodded. "Let's get him somewhere safe to do this. We don't have much time." They got Aaron into the car, and then James zapped then into some woods, where they were exactly, Klaus didn't know.

"Where are we?" He asked.

"It doesn't matter," James told him. "We won't be here for long, anyway. Do you know how this procedure works?"

Klaus nodded. "Of course I do. I've had it done before."

"All right," James nodded. "I don't have to tell you what to do, then. That's good." He pulled out a wooden box and opened it. "Okay," he said. "Take his hand. Or his wrist, if you prefer."

Klaus nodded and gripped Aaron's wrist as James cast the spell to switch their bodies. Seconds after he said the spell, Klaus' essence was put into Aaron's body while James trapped Aaron's essence in the wood box and shut it tight. After making sure Klaus' body was still, James watched as Aaron's body bolted up.

"Well, it's been awhile since I've done this," Klaus said. "Amy made it look so easy when she possessed my date."

"Well, it looks like things turned out all right," James told him. "Do you feel strange?"

"No," Klaus shook Aaron's head. "Everything feels all right to me."

"All right," James nodded. "I'm guessing you want to go in and see Amy now?"

Klaus nodded. "Yes, I think I'll be on my way." He started to get out of the car and James said, "One more thing: Where do you want me to put your body? My house probably wouldn't be safe. Lenora would find it and I wouldn't hear the end of it."

Klaus found a notepad in the back pocket of one of the chairs and wrote his address on it. "That's my house," he said. "Take it there. That's where it will be safe."

James nodded. "All right," he said. "Good luck." And then he and Klaus' body disappeared. Klaus sat in the car for a second or two and then went inside again to Aaron and Amy's room, knocking on the door twice cause he forgot he probably had keys. Amy opened the door and peered at him. She was wearing a very attractive peach-colored negligee and frowning. "Where have you been?" She asked. "You can't just disappear like that and not come back for hours without telling me where you are!"

She ushered him into the room and put her hands on her hips. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I-I am sorry," Klaus got out, Aaron's voice sounding odd in his ears. "It won't happen again."

"Good," Amy nodded, and then climbed into bed. "Wanna join me?" She asked, patting the bed suggestively. "It would be the perfect way to make things up to me."

Klaus cleared his throat. "I'm tired," he said. "I was at the golf course all day and now-"

"Oh, stop!" Amy snapped. "Don't lie to me! Why is really that you don't want to get close to me? Why have you been avoiding me ever since we got here? This is supposed to be our _honeymoon_ for fuck's sake!"

Klaus looked at her and sighed. "I've been avoiding you because I have something to say, but I'm afraid to say it because I think it will make you ashamed of me."

"Well, what is it?" Amy asked.

Klaus sighed. "I can't come to bed with you," he said. "At least not the way you want. Because...because I had an accident a few years ago, they botched the surgery, and now I have trouble in bed."

"Really?" Amy asked.

"Really," Klaus nodded. "I know that's probably the last thing you want to hear on our wedding night, but...you wanted the truth, so I'm giving it to you."

"You're saying we'll never have sex, Aaron?" Amy told him.

"Yes, basically," Klaus nodded. "But I give you permission to go elsewhere to fulfill your needs since I can't. You should try that handsome boss of yours. When I met him, I sensed he likes you."

"Really?" Amy asked. "And you won't tell my parents?"

"No," Klaus shook his head. "It will be our secret."

* * *

"Hello, James," Lenora said as James came into the house that night. She was staring at him with her arms crossed. "Where have you been?"

"I told you," James replied. "Your grandfather and I hit it off and we were just going out for drinks. No harm in that, is there?"

"Tell me the truth," Lenora said. "What kind of relationship do we have if you can't tell me the truth? What were you really doing?"

"I wasn't lying about being with your grandfather," James said to her. "It's just that we were...hiding Aaron away so your grandfather could take possession of his body and go to his wedding night in his stead." He flinched a little, waiting for Lenora's response.

"What, do you think I'm going to hit you?" Lenora asked. "I wouldn't do that. And I told you that if you wanted to help my grandfather with his crazy scheme, that was up to you. You didn't have to lie to me about it."

"Oh, come on!" James told her. "Yes I did. Cause I knew that if I did it, you'd be mad at me, despite giving me permission."

"Well, can you blame me?" Lenora asked. "You can't just go around interfering with people's lives because you think you know better."

James grinned at this remark and took her in his arms. "I interfered with your life," he said, kissing her softly. "And that's worked out pretty well for you so far...don't you think?"

"Yeah," Lenora kissed him. "I guess." She paused. "So did it work?" She asked. "Did you get Grandpa in Aaron's body?"

"Yes," James nodded. "It worked. Although I _am_ sorry for poor Amy, having to go through a passionless honeymoon."

"Well, that wouldn't have had to happen if you and Grandpa had left well enough alone," Lenora replied.

"I doubt it," James told her. "Did you pay any attention to him at all when we went over to his house? He's a workaholic! His work will be more important to him than Amy will ever be, so his not being with her is not a big change from how he really is. We aren't wrecking anyone's life. In a sense, we're making it better."

Lenora sighed. "I could argue with that logic, but it wouldn't do me any good, would it? So let's just not talk at all anymore and go to bed instead. Just because Amy has to be celibate for who knows how long doesn't mean _we_ have to be."

"You're quite right, my darling," James replied and carried her off to bed and making love to her in such a way that Lenora was really glad that she wasn't Amy, and that she was with a man who knew his way around a woman.

* * *

With "Aaron's" 'secret' out, the honeymoon went much smoother. The pair spent their days playing tennis and swimming, and when it was time for them to go home, Amy initially stayed by his side, despite the fact that their sex life was non-existent. But during a trip Aaron made to a medical convention several hours away a few weeks after their honeymoon ended, Amy decided she'd had enough of celibacy. She dialed Klaus' number hoping that he would pick up. It rang for awhile before he finally answered.

"Hello?"

"Klaus?" Amy said. "It's Amy. Are you busy?"

"No," Klaus shook his head and motioned wildly at James. They had just finished returning Klaus to his own body, and Aaron himself was not being quiet about what he'd been forced to go through. Finally, James zapped him away. "What's the problem?" Klaus asked. "Do you need help?"

"Actually," Amy replied. "I do. Can I come over?"

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "Of course."

"All right," Amy nodded. "See you in a little bit."

And, Klaus discovered, that was not an exaggeration. No sooner had he hung up the phone then Amy appeared out of thin air next to him. "Hi," she said, and without giving him a chance to reply, grabbed him and kissed him deeply.

"Amy!" Klaus replied in shock when she pulled away. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

Amy grinned. "Making up for weeks of celibacy. Do you have a problem with that?" Klaus grinned. "Not really," he said, picking Amy up and carrying her away. "You can show yourself out, can't you?" He called to James, who nodded and disappeared. When they reached the bedroom and slammed the door behind them, they continued to kiss, their hands going all over each other's bodies and pulling at each other's clothes until they all rested in a haphazard pile by the bed. Amy studied Klaus' naked body, her gaze intense, her tongue poking out and running over her lips. She kissed him again, her hands running over his ab muscles and his penis. "I'm-I'm sorry," she breathed. "It's been too long since I've done this, and I-" Klaus cut her off, kissing her and biting her lip. "No need to be sorry," he panted. "You're doing good!" He picked her up and anchored her against the wall and she squeaked as she felt him enter her. They stayed in this position for awhile before moving onto the bed.

Amy laughed with enjoyment as Klaus grinned down at her, his fingers tangled in her red hair. Finally, sweaty, panting, and exhausted, they rolled off each other, still laughing. "Wow," Amy said. "I hope that was good enough for you. I know I'm a bit rusty."

Klaus grinned. "If that was you holding back on me, I can't wait to find out what it's like when you're giving it your all."

"And you'll get it," Amy grinned. "Aaron told me that since he has sex problems, I can come and visit you as much as I want. We can do this every night!"

Klaus grinned. "How considerate of Aaron to think of you that way." Amy leaned forward to kiss him again and then looked at the clock. "I better go home," she said. "I don't want to stay away too long. My parents said they might stop by some time tonight."

"All right," Klaus nodded. "Go to your husband, if you think that's best, but tell me: will I see you again?"

"Yes," Amy nodded as she dressed. "I promise you will."


	17. The Proposal

Amy had told Klaus that she'd come visit him again the next day, but much to his surprise, he didn't see her again for the next three months. She didn't even come to work, and when he tried to call her, no one answered the phone. He was about to send someone searching for her when one day, she finally arrived on his doorstep.

"Amy," he started in on her. "Where have you been? I was worried sick! I-" It was then that she turned her face up toward his and he realized she was crying. "Come in," he said more gently and helped her inside. He sat her down and asked Felicity to get her some tea. When that was taken care of, he handed her a tissue to wipe her eyes with.

"Thank you," she sniffled.

"Now," Klaus said. "What's been going on with you? Where have you been all this time?"

"I've been with Aaron," Amy said. "He's been mad lately, telling me that he has to keep an extra close watch so I don't run off when he's gone. He won't even let me come to work!"

"Why not?" Klaus asked.

"Apparently, he doesn't trust you," Amy replied. "Especially not since I told him about...the thing."

"What thing?" Klaus asked.

"Now just hear me out," Amy said. "I'm pregnant, and it's yours, but...I'm going to get rid of it because you probably don't want a surprise baby around, right?"

"If you assume that I don't want it, why did you come to tell me?" Klaus asked, putting his arms around her.

Amy put her head on his shoulder. "I came to tell you because I _hoped_ you would want to keep it. Do you?"

"Since of course the answer is 'Yes,'" Klaus said, "That means you're gonna stay with me, right? You aren't going to go running back to Aaron or your parents?"

Amy shook her head. "Of course not. They've probably all disowned me by now. And Aaron said he was going to have our marriage annulled."

"Why did you do it?" Klaus asked her. "Why did you marry him in the first place? Was it because you loved him?"

"No," Amy shook her head. "I never loved him. I guess I did it because...because I was scared of what my life would be like if I followed my heart and left the witches behind to be with you." She sighed. "But I guess now I'll get to see what that's like because I have no other choice. I can't go home, I can't face any of my former friends. I don't know what's gonna happen."

Klaus gave her a long look, then got down on one knee and took her hand. "I understand that you're worried," he said. "But would you-would you let me make it easier on you? Please?"

"You don't have to raise my pay," Amy said. "I can manage well enough with the amount I'm getting right now."

"I don't want to raise your pay," Klaus said. "I want you to marry me. Will you do that?"

Amy's eyes widened. "That's so sweet, you know, but I just...you're probably only asking out of a sense of obligation, and there's really no need to do that."

"No!" Felicity sprang up from the couch, where she'd previously sat in silence. "He's not asking out of a sense of obligation! He's asking because he _wants_ to. Understand? He _loves_ you!"

Amy looked at Klaus for confirmation. "Is that true? Do you really?"

Klaus sighed. "I was gonna wait to tell you this, but I figure now is as good a time as any. You know when you were on your honeymoon with Aaron and I showed up on your wedding night, and we talked, and then Aaron showed up after that?"

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "And we didn't have sex at all? How could I forget?"

"Well," Klaus took a deep breath. "It wasn't Aaron who was with you on your wedding night. It was me. I got Lenora's husband to do a body switching spell with me and Aaron cause I wanted you to hate him and like me more. I know it was stupid and selfish, and I just...you probably won't want to marry me now, will you?"

Amy looked at him in shock. "You kidnapped and possessed my fiance just so you could be with my on my wedding night?" She asked. She put a hand to her head. "I should have known! Why else would Aaron tell me to go sleep with you?"

"Before you get mad," Klaus told her, "in my defense, when we _did_ finally sleep together, you seemed to enjoy yourself." His eyes flicked down toward her stomach. "A lot."

"Well, yeah," Amy nodded. "I did. But just...why would you lie to me like that? Why go to all that effort just to get me into bed?"

Klaus sighed. "Because it wasn't just about getting you into bed. You said you wanted to marry a warlock and not me. I just...I wanted to show you that you were wrong and that you could do better. You were the one who said we should stop having sex so you could go and have the normal, boring life your parents expected you to have. How else would I have gotten you to see reason? You're scared, I get it. But making yourself miserable for the rest of your life is not better than taking a deep breath and doing what needs to be done to make your fear go away." He paused. "Now, I'm going to ask you again: Will you marry me?"

"Yes," Amy nodded. "I'll marry you." She teetered a little bit and Klaus reached out to hold on to her. "Are you all right?" He asked.

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I'm just a little nauseous is all. I have to go throw up now, but I'll be right back." She ran off, leaving Felicity and Klaus staring at each other. "Want me to go break the news to Mom?" Felicity asked.

"All right," Klaus nodded. "If you feel you must."

Felicity nodded. "I must!" She grabbed her purse and Klaus heard the screech of tires as she pulled the car out of the driveway and drove off.

* * *

"Mom!" Felicity called as she knocked on Elijah and Selina's front door. "Are you home?"

"Yes," Selina answered the door. "What's going on? What's the problem?"

"No problem," Felicity shook her head, her face shining. "May I come in?"

"Of course," Selina nodded. When Felicity was sitting down, Selina said, "So what's going on?"

"Daddy's getting married!" Felicity cried. "To Amy. And they're having a baby. I thought you'd want to know that."

"Are you serious?" Selina asked in shot, shooting up off the sofa.

"Yes, but you shouldn't be jealous," Felicity chided. "You're with Uncle Elijah after all. You had your chance with Daddy but you left!"

"I'm not jealous," Selina told her. "Just surprised. I thought your father would never get over me."

"Well, he did!" Felicity replied. "And you were replaced by a very nice woman."

"Yes, well," Selina cleared her throat. "You can tell your father I'm happy for him. And I know Elijah will be too." She paused at the expression on Felicity's face. "What's the matter?" She asked. "Did I not give you the reaction you were hoping for? You told me not to be jealous and I'm not."

"I know," Felicity said. "But I kind of wanted you to be truly saddened, you know?"

Selina scoffed. "You mean, say something like, 'Oh, no! Your father has spent time in another woman's arms and I'll never be happy again! My heart is so broken I'll go throw myself off the balcony right now'. Is that the kind of reaction you wanted?"

"A little," Felicity admitted.

"Well, as you said, I've moved on to your uncle Elijah," Selina told her. "And I think it's great that he found someone else and they're having a baby and getting married. Good for them. May they have happy lives forever."

Felicity nodded. "I'll tell Daddy that you said so."

Just as she was leaving, Elijah came into the house and put his arms around Selina. "Was my brother visiting?" He asked. "i saw his car pulling out of the driveway."

Selina shook her head. "It wasn't him. It was Felicity. She told me that Klaus got engaged to that Amy woman who works for him and that the two of them are expecting a baby."

"Well, isn't that delightful?" Elijah asked. "Finally, a reason for him to stop coming after you. I'm happy for my brother, really."

Selina grinned. "Felicity wanted me to be really heartbroken when I found out, but why would I be, when I've got _you_?" She gave Elijah a hug. "I think everyone is where they're supposed to be now," she said. "And everything is perfect."

* * *

"So what did your mother say?" Amy asked when Felicity returned. "I hope she wasn't upset."

"No," Felicity shrugged. "She said she was happy for the both of you."

Klaus nodded. "I thought she would be. Getting a pleased reaction out of her is one thing, but getting one out of Roxanne is another."

"Why do we have to tell her?" Felicity asked. "Can't we just keep it quiet?"

"No," Klaus shook his head. "She visits too often for me to lie to her. We'll have to be honest."

"She's not gonna be happy," Felicity pointed out.

"I realize that," Klaus replied. "But there's no other way to handle this. We have to tell her next time she comes and be prepared for any reaction she might have. Can we do that?"

"Maybe you can tell both her and Aunt Lucy at the same time," Felicity suggested. "That might soften the blow a bit. You can do it next time they bring you more girls to date."

"All right," Klaus nodded. "I will. Next time they come, I'll tell them both the good news, and however they react, we'll deal with it when it happens."


	18. The Accidental Dinner Party

Much to Klaus' relief, he was able to hold off telling Roxie and Lucy about Amy because both of them were going off on vacations and would be unreachable for awhile.

"I can't say I'm not relieved as well," Amy told Klaus when he gave her the news. "I know it's kind of cowardly to be glad, and that no matter how long we wait, Roxie will have the same bad reaction, but, I just...I'm pleased we have a little more time before we have to tell them. And Selina already knows, so we don't have to tell her or your brother...I guess that just means that we have time to ourselves, then." She paused. "Wait a minute. I have a friend I need to tell."

Klaus nodded. "And I have someone else I need to tell too."

"Who do you have to tell?" Amy asked.

Klaus sighed. "I know you might hate this idea, but Adrian has to know that he's gonna have a half sibling. I can't just leave him out of the loop."

Amy sucked in her breath. "And Helene is the one _I _have to tell. Will that be awkward? Because I know the two of them aren't at their best now."

"No," Klaus sighed. "We'll go ahead and call both of them. They've been bickering like children for over ten years now and it's about time someone put an end to it."

Amy nodded. "I suppose you know more about this than I do," she said. "But you have to promise me you'll deal with it if there's fights between them or anything else goes wrong. Will you do that?"

"Yes, I will," Klaus nodded. "Being around Adrian again will probably remind me to be grateful that you and I will most likely be having another girl. I know how to handle girls. Boys are more difficult. I never thought that would be the case until I actually became a parent."

Amy grinned. "Well, it's good you feel confident raising girls because, like you say, it's very possible that we'll be having a girl this time and any other time we expect a child. I'm gong to go call Helene now. Will you do the same with Adrian?"

"Yes," Klaus sighed. "I think it's best to get this mess over with as soon as possible. Don't you?"

Amy nodded and they both went to give the news to their loved ones.

* * *

Helene and Adrian both parked their cars in Klaus' driveway and got out of them, striding over to each other. "What are you doing here?" Adrian asked Helene.

"I got a call from my friend Amy that she's pregnant," Helene told him. "And that your dad is the father. Why are you here?"

"I think that would be obvious," Adrian said. "Dad called me to tell me he was with a woman and they were engaged. Naturally, I was curious, so I came to see things for myself." He paused. "Did you say she's _pregnant_ too? I feel sorry for my father, getting attached to a witch. I wonder if she tricked him into it. Wouldn't be the first time I know of _that_ happening." He scoffed. "I don't like having to breathe the same air as you."

"Well, Amy's my friend, so I'm not gonna leave," Helene told him, brushing her dark hair away from her face. "That means _you _have to leave."

"No," Adrian shook his head. "Not when I just got here. I've been driving all day!"

"I know!" Helene shot back. "I was behind you all the way!"

Adrian sucked in a breath. "Well, if you're not gonna leave and I'm not gonna leave, I guess we'll just have to go in there together, won't we?" Adrian took a step. "I'll go first. You follow me."

"Just a minute, buster!" Helene replied. "Haven't you heard of 'ladies first'?"

"Well, yeah," Adrian replied, pushing her aside again. "But since there aren't any ladies here and it's just you, that doesn't apply." Helene just scoffed, pushed him aside, and headed up the front steps. Adrian followed, but before she could knock, he put a restraining hand on her arm, forcing her to look him in the eye. "I always put you first," he said quietly. "Up until I left, everything I did was for you, and it cost me my dignity, my self-respect, and who knows what else. You did so many cruel things to me and made me feel like an idiot in so many ways, but because I loved you and letting you have your way made you happy, I let you walk all over me. I loved you, Helene. And I can't believe that after all these years, after all the crap we've gone through, you still have the gall to look me right in the eye and say that I never put you first. I loved you more than anything, and it got me nowhere. Don't you _dare_ try and tell me anything else." He let her go then and the two of them went inside, more subdued than they had been when they'd first parked in the driveway.

Amy met them at the door and looked back and forth between them. "Is everything okay?" She asked. "I know it was a bit risky to call you both here at the same time, but Klaus thought you'd be able to handle it."

"We're fine," Adrian nodded. "And congratulations. Where's my dad?"

"Thank you," Amy replied. "And he's stepped out for a little bit. Had some errands to run. He should be back soon, though."

"All right," Adrian replied and sat down next to Helene just as Felicity came into the room. "Well!" She exclaimed, seeing both Adrian and Helene together in the same room. "This is a surprise. What's the occasion?"

"We heard about what's going on with Klaus and Amy and we just...wanted to come and give them our good wishes," Helene told her. "How are you, Felicity?"

Felicity shrugged. "Not bad," she said. "I'm happy about what's going on here, by the way. I think it's about time Daddy was finally with someone."

Adrian tried his best not to wince when he heard Felicity refer to his father as 'Daddy', but he wasn't successful.

"Are you all right, Adrian?" Felicity asked.

"Yeah, fine," Adrian nodded. "I just...I had something in my eye."

"Oh," Felicity nodded. "All right."

"So," Helene said to Amy, changing the subject. "You two are getting married, right?"

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I mean, he asked me. We haven't planned farther than that, but we will."

"Just do me a favor, will you, Amy?" Adrian asked.

Amy nodded. "_Please_ don't tell me to give up on your father, though. I know you and I haven't always been on the best of terms, but I do love your father, honestly."

"Good," Adrian nodded. "So that will make asking you what I need to ask you a little less difficult. When you have your kid, _please_ let Dad teach her vampire and werewolf stuff. I know the idea of your little baby drinking blood might be appalling and disgusting, but it's part of them being a vampire and you can't just go and demand it be repressed because you think it's gross or wrong."

"All right," Amy nodded. "I'll keep that in mind, Adrian. I promise."

"And in case you're wondering," Felicity said to Adrian. "I already told Mom. She was a little surprised, but okay with it."

"Well, she _should_ be okay with it!" Adrian said. "She's married to Uncle Elijah and they have more than a handful of kids. If she were still unable to move on from Dad by now, it'd be a problem."

"So, who are you going to invite to the wedding?" Helene asked Amy.

"You, probably," Amy said. "And Felicity. And Klaus' brother if he wants to come. Actually, I don't know who Klaus wants to invite." She paused. "Do you think your mom is gonna be mad at me for this?"

"Why would she be mad at you?" Helene asked.

"I don't know," Amy shrugged. "Because she trusted me to do a job and then I went and got pregnant by my employer. I mean, how irresponsible could I be?"

"Well, look at it this way," Helene said. "The job she gave you was to watch over Klaus. How much easier will that be now that you'll be married to him and having a kid? I don't think Mom will have a problem, but if there ever is anything to worry about, I'll cover for you."

"Thanks," Amy replied. "That makes me feel a lot better."

"Well, isn't this a surprise?" Klaus asked as he came into the house. "I wondered who those two cars in the driveway belonged to."

"We just came to say congratulations," Adrian told him. "And to wish you luck that your relationship with Amy turns out better than ours did."

"Yes," Klaus nodded, his arms crossed. "We'll learn from your shining example exactly what _not_ to do."

"Good," Adrian nodded. "You should be okay, then."

"Speaking of being okay," Klaus said, coming behind Amy to rub her shoulders. "Are _you_ all right, Amy? You _did_ remember to have your crackers and your Sprite this morning?"

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I'm doing better today. Thanks for asking." She looked up and then Klaus leaned down to kiss her, causing a sound to come out of Helene's throat. "Are you all right, Helene?" Felicity asked.

"Yeah," Helene cleared her throat. "I'm fine. I'm good. Just...just something stuck in my throat. I'm good now."

They sat in awkward silence for a few more minutes before Klaus suggested that he, Stefan, and Adrian go out and about, leaving the ladies to discuss wedding details.

* * *

When they returned, Adrian and and Helene took up Amy's offer for the two of them to stay for dinner, but they didn't sit next to each other. They both took chairs and once they were seated, Felicity situated herself in the seat between them. "This is nice," Felicity said to Helene. "Isn't it?"

"Yeah," Helene nodded, her voice lacking enthusiasm. "Wonderful."

As they ate, the doorbell rang again. Amy got up to answer it this time, and to her surprise, Elijah and Selina were on the other side. "Hi!" Selina greeted her. "We know we didn't call or anything, but we just wanted to stop by and say 'congratulations' to you and Klaus."

"Oh, come in!" Amy said. "And thank you. That must be the thing to do today. Adrian and Helene are here too."

Elijah paused. "Adrian and Helene are here..._together?"_

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I wanted to tell Helene I was pregnant because she's my friend, Klaus wanted to tell Adrian that he's gonna have a half sibling...and they both came to see us at the same time."

"This is something I have to see," Elijah said and came in. When he saw Adrian and Helene at the table with Felicity between them, he stopped so fast that Selina bumped into him. "You really _are_ both here," he said in amazement. "I would have thought it would be difficult for you to see each other."

"It was a surprise at first," Helene replied. "But I see no reason we can't be civil for a short period of time. After all, we aren't here to make things about us. We just wanted to tell Klaus and Amy how happy we were for them."

"Have you both eaten?" Amy asked. "Because you know I can always make more. It isn't difficult."

"No, thanks," Selina said. "We're fine. In fact," she pulled a towel off the platter Elijah was holding. "We brought cake!"

Adrian grinned and came to hug her. "You never go anywhere empty handed, do you, Mom?"

"Nope!" Selina replied with a grin. "It's not how I was raised and old habits die hard."

"This habit should never die," Helene replied, eying the cake. "That looks so good." She stood up. "I'll go get forks! Oh, and plates, too."

She left and Adrian stood up. "Would you like some help?"

"No, thanks!" Helene called back. "I can handle it." She came back with plates and silverware a few minutes later and set them out on the table, then Klaus cut pieces of cake for everyone, and they toasted with wine from Klaus' stash (Amy had milk).

Afterward, once Adrian and Helene had left and Felicity and Stefan had gone out, Klaus took Selina aside to talk with her. "Are you really okay with Amy and me?" He asked.

"Yeah," Selina nodded. "I mean, I was a bit shocked at first with the idea of you being with someone who wasn't me after so many years, but really, it's about time, I guess. I'm with Elijah and you need someone like Amy who will actually love you and expect you to be something more than you are, not just someone like me, who, although we had some good times, mainly liked you because you gave me an excuse to indulge in bad behavior after so many years of having to repress it. You gave me that chance, but now I have to push myself to grow up and not slide into bad habits when things with Elijah get difficult. That's not fair to you. Amy will make you happy, Nicky, and I wish you the best of luck." She put her arms around him then and he embraced her and gave her a brief kiss on the top of her head. "Thank you, love," he said. "Thank you."

Meanwhile, Elijah was having a similar conversation with Amy. "You do realize you don't just have to marry my brother because you're carrying his child," Elijah said.

"Yeah, I know," Amy replied. "I'm marrying your brother because I want to, not just because he got me pregnant and then asked me to marry him."

"I have to warn you," Elijah said. "My brother, although he can be loving and friendly when the mood strikes him, other times he can be incredibly difficult. Are you prepared for that?"

"Yes," Amy nodded. "I think we'll be able to solve any problem as long as we communicate with each other." She paused. "But if things get really bad, you still don't have to worry about me. Although it will be an absolute last resort, I will not hesitate to use magic on him if I think it's warranted."

"Really?" Elijah said in surprise. "I wasn't sure about that, which is why I felt the need to express my concern."

"Well, I'm glad you did," Amy replied as sparks of magic erupted from her fingers. "I'm happy to allay your fears. And it is _so _sweet of you to worry about me, even though it's not strictly necessary."

"Since we're going to be family, it's my pleasure," Elijah told her. "And I'm very pleased to hear that you can handle yourself. That's the kind of woman my brother needs and I'm glad he found her in you."

"And not your own wife anymore?" Amy asked with a knowing smile. "I understand what you mean, Elijah."

Elijah smiled. "Good. I didn't want to have to explain it, cause it would make me sound like a jealous husband."

"A little jealousy can be good," Amy replied. "As long as you don't let it get out of control."

They talked a little longer, and then Selina found Elijah. "I think we can go now," she said. "And let Klaus and Amy have the house to themselves."

"I agree," Elijah said. "Just what have you been doing with yourself this evening?"

"Klaus and I had a talk," Selina informed Elijah. "He wanted to make sure that I was okay with his relationship with Amy, and I told him I was because I had you and the kids, and that although we had some good times, he deserved someone like Amy who really loved him and didn't just use him as an excuse to cause trouble, like I did. I told him that I thought Amy would be good for him and wished him the best of luck."

"You did?" Elijah asked. Selina nodded. "Were you expecting me to say something different?"

"No!" Elijah shook his head. "I just...considering your history with my brother, it must've been difficult realizing that when you said goodbye this time, it was going to stick because he'd found someone else to be happy with."

Selina shrugged. "I'm glad he found someone else," she said. "I hope they get to be as happy as you and I are. That's what I want for them."

"Yes," Elijah nodded, taking her in his arms. "My brother can be a very loving person when he wants to be, and happiness with the woman he loves is all I want for him too."


	19. Roxie Has A Revelation

"Roxie and Lucy are back," Klaus told Amy. "We have to tell them."

"I know," Amy nodded. "Just go ahead and do it. It'd be best that way."

Klaus took a deep breath and called Lucy first.

"Daddy?" Lucy said. "I'm so glad you called! I want to tell you all about my trip! And I've thought of some other girls you could date!"

"That's nice," Klaus said. "I have some news for you too. Would you come and see me as soon as you possibly can? And if you and Roxanne could coordinate your schedules so she could come with you, that would be wonderful."

"What is it that you have to tell us?" Lucy asked. "Is it something exciting?"

"Well, for me it is," Klaus replied. "I don't know how you two will take it, especially Roxanne, which is why I want you to be a buffer when she hears."

"Is it something about Amy?" Lucy asked. "Are you getting married? That's the one thing I can think of that would upset Roxie."

"Yes, we're getting married," Klaus replied. "That and Amy is pregnant with my child."

There was silence on the other end of the line. Klaus was sure Lucy had hung up until he heard her clear her throat. "You-you're what?" She asked.

"Amy and I are getting married," Klaus repeated. "And she's pregnant with my child."

"Have you-have you been in love with Amy all this time?" Lucy asked. "Is that why none of the dates Roxie and I set up for you never worked out, and why you nitpicked at every little thing?"

"Probably," Klaus nodded. "Are you upset with me?"

Lucy sighed. "I can't say I'm not a little surprised," she admitted. "After the Adrian-Helene fiasco, the last person I expected you to fall in love with is a witch, but if she makes you happy, congratulations to both of you."

"Well, thank you," Klaus replied. "I doubt I'll get such a cordial reply from your sister."

"That's why I'm gonna come with her when you tell her," Lucy replied. "She can't behave too badly if there are people around."

"It's a nice thought, if a little optimistic," Klaus replied dryly. "How she reacted when she heard that you were born is something that's always going to stick in my mind. I'm bracing myself for a repeat of that performance, although I hope that by now she's matured enough by now to act kindly."

Lucy sighed. "I doubt it," she said. "But we'll see."

After Klaus hung up, Lucy called Roxie at Enid's to give her a head's up about Klaus' announcement.

"Enid's bar," Roxie's voice said brightly. "How can I help you?"

"Roxie, it's Lucy," Lucy replied. "When's the next time you're off of work? Daddy has news he wants to tell you."

"Well, what is it?" Roxie asked. "If you know that he has news to tell me, that probably means you know what it is."

"I do," Lucy confirmed. "But it's his thing to share and not mine. So when can I come pick you up?"

"You don't have to come and pick me up!" Roxie told her. "I go over to Dad's all the time. He can tell me then."

"Well, when are you planning on going?" Lucy tried again. "I'll meet you there."

"Why is it so important for you to be there when I find out this news?" Roxie asked. "What the hell is it?"

"It's nothing bad!" Lucy assured her. "But Daddy's still afraid you might take it the wrong way." She sighed, silently apologizing to their father. "He and Amy are engaged," she said softly. "And Amy is pregnant with his baby."

"What the fuck?" Roxie whispered, her voice shaking. "What the FUCK! How could he do that? How could he go and knock up some witch floozy who works for him and not tell me about it himself? Why did he have to rely on _you_ to relay the message?"

"He planned to tell you!" Lucy told her. "That's why he wanted you to come over, so he could tell you himself, face to face. But I thought you'd react worse just hearing it out of the blue like that, so I'm telling you now to give you time to prepare something polite to say."

"I-no," Roxie replied. "I'm not gonna go visit dad and congratulate him on his stupid baby with stupid Amy, all right? I'm gonna call him and tell him that right now. Goodbye!"

Lucy hung up and rolled her eyes. Just the reaction she'd expected. Her father was wrong. Even though it had been years since Lucy's birth, Roxie still wasn't reacting well to the idea of what she saw as a rival for her father's affection at all.

* * *

"So, when are you gonna go talk to your dad?" Vince asked Roxie as they sat in bed together several nights later and he played with her hair. She'd told him about Lucy's phone call and he'd not been shy about chiding her for her reaction, which he saw as immature.

Roxie hugged her arms. "I don't _want _to go talk to my dad," she replied. "I have nothing to say."

"What about 'congratulations'?" Vince asked. "I mean, he and Amy_ are _having a kid."

"I know that!" Roxie yelled. "Why do you think I've been like this since he told me?"

"Relax, relax," Vince replied. "Why are you being so stubborn about this? It wouldn't hurt you. You wouldn't even have to stay a long time. You could just say 'Congratulations' and leave. I'm sure your father would understand."

"Why should I go?" Roxie asked. "If he's happy about having another kid, then clearly he doesn't need me around anymore."

"Now, that's the faulty logic that you've always had," Vince told her. "Just because your father decides to have another kid doesn't mean he doesn't want you around. It just means he's having another kid. It's not a bad thing! Why is understanding that such a problem for you?"

"You should know the answer for that by now!" Roxie said. "It's cause I'm a whiny, self-absorbed brat who thrives on attention! I need everyone focused on me at all times and if that doesn't happen, I get cranky!"

"I'm gonna call bullshit on that," Vince replied calmly. "We had the twins and when they were babies, there were days where I barely had time to pay attention to you at all, and you made it through all right. I think you should talk to your dad instead of avoiding him and tell him what your real problem about him having another kid is. It will make you feel better."

"No," Roxie mumbled. "I don't want to."

Vince shrugged. "Fine," he said. "Your choice. But think about this: your greatest fear is losing your father. Him having another kid won't make you lose him, but stubbornly refusing to accept that you're not the only person in his life anymore, or staying away from him because you think he won't be able to love another kid and still love you too _will_ actually make you lose him. Is that what you want?"

"No," Roxie shook her head. "He's my daddy. I don't wanna lose him."

Vince nodded and took her in his arms. "All right, then." He said. "Now that you've figured that out, you know what you have to do, right? You know that as soon as possible, you have to go see your dad and tell him you're happy that he and Amy are having a kid. Even if you aren't, lie through your teeth cause it will make him happy."

Roxie grinned. "You mean like all the times we've had sex and I haven't actually had an orgasm, but I pretended to to make you feel better?"

"What?" Vince asked, eyes wide. "When did _that_ happen?"

"Relax!" Roxie grinned, the twinkle finally back in her eye. "It hasn't happened _recently_!"

Vince scoffed. "Just go see your dad, okay? I'll come with you if I have to, to make sure you do it."

"Fine," Roxie replied. "We're off work tomorrow. Let's go then."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Lucy said. "When I told Roxie about the baby, I did it thinking that giving her more time to prepare mentally would lead to better behavior when you and Amy actually saw her. But since she hasn't even come by yet, and she won't answer my phone calls, I guess that was something I was wrong about."

Klaus put a hand on Lucy's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself," he said. "You can only do so much with Roxanne. She's always been a stubborn person, ever since she was a little thing. It frustrated your mother to no end, and since Roxanne was always very obedient and easy-going with me as a baby, I thought your mother's struggles were amusing, I'm ashamed to say. But now that Roxanne is older, but still just as possessive, I'm beginning to see what your mother's problems were, and they are _not_ amusing at all."

"I'm sure she'll come around sometime," Lucy assured him. Just then, there was a knock at the door and Klaus went to answer it. He was surprised at the sight of Roxie standing on the doorstep. "Hi, Daddy," she said quietly, avoiding his eyes. "May I come in?"

"Sure," Klaus nodded. "Please."

Roxie came in and sat down, staring at Klaus for a bit until Lucy finally said, "What brings you here, Roxie?"

"I-I can't stay for a long time," Roxie replied. "Vince is waiting for me in the car. But I just-" She paused. "Call Amy in here. She should hear what I want to say too."

Klaus was hesitant, but Roxie insisted. Finally, Klaus called Amy in. It'd been so long that Amy was now just beginning to show. "Roxanne has something to tell us," He told Amy, holding her next to him.

Roxie's eyes were stuck on Amy's stomach, but she finally managed to look at Klaus and Amy's faces. "I just-I wanted to say 'Congratulations' on being engaged and having a baby, and that I realize that this kid won't affect how you feel about me and that you'll still love me anyway."

Klaus nodded. "Of course," he said, and gestured for Roxie to come sit on his other side. She did and he pulled her close just as he had Amy. "I know this was probably very difficult for you," he told her. "But-thank you for doing it. It makes me very happy. And what you said was right. I _promise_ the baby won't stop me from loving you."

Roxie nodded. "I know that," she nodded. "I really _am_ happy for you."

"I'm glad," Klaus nodded. "Thank you."

Roxie hugged him, holding on for a long time before Vince came in. "Sorry," she said to him when she saw him. "I was just getting ready to leave."

"Oh, no!" Vince shook his head. "Nothing to be sorry about. I just-you were in here so long I wanted to make sure everything was still in one piece."

"Yeah," Roxie told him. "It is. I'm good."

"Are you sure?" Vince asked, taking her hand. She turned to look at Klaus and Amy, then smiled at him. "Yeah," she said. "I am."


	20. Felicity's Crime Of Passion

"I thought of something, Daddy," Felicity said to Klaus one day. "I was thinking I might pay Amy's family a visit and have a little chat with them about respecting people's right to do something that makes them happy, even if you don't like it."

Klaus looked up at her. "You know that there's nothing I would like more than to give those...people a piece of my mind for hurting Amy, but you know I can't. You know how much it will hurt her if we kill or hurt her family, no matter how much they deserve it."

"Who said anything about hurting or killing them?" Felicity asked. "I was just gonna _talk_ to them. Didn't you hear me say that? You don't have to come."

"Yes, I did," Klaus nodded. "But knowing you, even talking will make you angry, and when you're angry, you tend to...lose control."

Felicity smirked. "Between you and Stefan, I learned from the best. I promise I won't let things get out of hand. Really."

Klaus sighed. "All right," he said. "You can go. But please try your best not to kill anyone."

Felicity rolled her eyes. "Oh, okay," she said and stomped off. She pulled Stefan's door open and strode in, causing him to look up from the half-naked woman he was feeding on. "Hey!" He cried. "Knock much? Whatever you came for, I'm busy."

"I just have an errand that I need to run and thought you might like to come with." She peered at the woman. "There can't be much left in her, can there?"

"No," Stefan scowled. "Not really." He sighed and threw the body on the floor. "I guess I'll come. What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna have a talk with Amy's family because of how badly they treated her. I promised Daddy there wouldn't be any bloodshed, but-" Felicity had a twinkle in her eye."-with me, you never know."

* * *

"I saw Felicity leave with Stefan," Amy told Klaus a short time later. "Where are they going?"

"Do you really wanna hear?" Klaus asked. "I don't know if you want to hear."

"Just tell me," Amy replied firmly. "Please."

"All right," Klaus nodded. "But you won't like it."

"I don't care," Amy nodded resolutely. "I want to hear _now_!"

Klaus sighed. "Fine," he said. "Felicity was..._distressed_, let's say, by your family's blatant dismissal of you when they found out you were pregnant and she wanted to go and talk to them about that. I assume she took Stefan with her."

"She's not gonna _kill_ them all, is she?" Amy asked. "I mean, it's hurtful that they rejected me, but that's standard practice. I should have seen it coming." She sighed.

"How sad," Klaus replied, reaching up to play with her hair. "You don't deserve that. You know that if you asked me to, I would kill them for you."

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I know. You probably want to right this minute, but are restraining yourself just for my sake."

"Yeah," Klaus nodded. "That's true. I am. You shouldn't be made an outcast for doing something that makes you happy."

Amy nodded. "I know, but I've made peace with it. I'll probably be happier here with you and the baby then I ever was with my parents anyway."

Klaus took her in his arms and hugged her. "Good girl," he whispered. "That's the spirit."

When he finally let her go, she smiled. "I thought about what Adrian said, you know, about letting you teach the baby vampire stuff even if it disgusts me. I'll really try hard to let you do that. But, is there possibly any way you could get me used to the idea of a small child drinking blood before it happens, so I'm mentally prepared? Please tell me there is."

"Well," Klaus replied thoughtfully, "I remember Roxanne telling me about how she and Vince practiced hunting techniques with_ their _kids by having them pounce and bite down on jelly doughnuts. Is that the sort of thing you mean?"

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "Like that, exactly!" Just then, she hiccuped and the lights in the room flickered.

"What was that?" Klaus asked. "Do we have some sort of ghost manifestation? I've noticed odd things happening a lot lately."

Amy nodded. "Ever since I got pregnant, as a matter of fact. Pregnant witches' magic tends to be all over the place a lot. Cause of the hormone stuff and because not only are we dealing with our own powers, but our baby's powers as well, so you never know what will happen at any given moment. That might have been one of the reasons Adrian was hesitant about having children with Helene, but my unpredictability doesn't scare you, does it, Klaus?"

Klaus grinned and raised an eyebrow. "No," he said, so close to her face that their breath mingled. "I've always _loved_ unpredictability. And danger. They both make things so interesting."

"Really?" Amy asked with a grin. "Well, now that we have the house to ourselves, what do you say we engage in some dangerous behavior right now?" She licked her bottom lip and Klaus pulled her to him, kissing her deeply, holding her, his hands gently going over her body.

"You don't have to be so gentle," Amy told him. "The baby is pretty well-protected."

"Are you sure?" Klaus asked.

"Yes," Amy nodded. "I wouldn't lie about that."

"Well, in that case," Klaus replied, picking her up and carrying her to their room. "Anyone who comes in here will have to proceed with caution." He set her down on the bed, then whipped off both his shirt and his pants before undressing her at a more leisurely pace. Things started out slow between them, but that didn't last long and as they nipped and bit and kiss, their hands going all over each other's hot, sweaty bodies, the bed and room began shaking. When Klaus pushed into Amy, she thrashed with a force that nearly made them both fly off the bed.

"Okay," Klaus breathed as they clung to the bed and pictures and other knickknacks flew around their heads. "This isn't fun. What the hell is going on? Can you make it stop?"

"Yes," Amy panted. "We need to calm ourselves down. Think unsexy thoughts."

"Well, that's not gonna be easy since you're naked right beside me!" Klaus replied as a pillow hit him in the face and he fell onto the bed. "Let go!"

"No!" Amy shook her head. "I could hurt myself!" She shut her eyes and began muttering under her breath. It took awhile, but eventually, everything slowed down, and then stopped, and Amy was able to crawl back into bed. "That was fun, wasn't it?" She asked with an awkward laugh.

"Is that going to happen every time you and I have sex?" Klaus asked her. "Because I didn't find that pleasant, but at the same time, I'm not gonna be celibate for the next five or so months either."

Amy sighed. "I hate to say it, but this is only gonna get worse the more pregnant I get." She sucked in her breath. "I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but I'm not gonna lie to you."

"In that case," Klaus said, "I'll have to buy a helmet, and so will you, and we'll put pillows all over the floor in case one of us falls. Cause like I said, I'm _not_ gonna be celibate for the next five or so months."

Amy grinned. "You really think you'll still be attracted to me if I'm wearing a helmet?"

Klaus nodded. "You could be wearing crocs and a muumuu and I'd still be attracted to you. Don't worry your pretty head about that." He paused. "And besides that, your helmet will only cover your head. The rest of your enticing body will still be very visible to me."

Amy nodded. "Good point. For some reason, I didn't think of that." She kissed him again and Klaus tensed as he heard the window in the bathroom rattle. "How about we take a break?" He asked. "You get dressed, give yourself time to calm down, and then we can kiss again, okay?"

"Sure," Amy nodded. "Okay." She paused. "And by the way, in spite of all that happened, I was still able to feel the baby kicking. I just thought you'd want to know."

* * *

"Felicity?" Astrid said in surprise when she opened the front door of her house. She was having a rare day off from the council and had thought she'd be alone for the whole day. "What are you doing here?"

"I just-I wanted to ask where Amy's parents live," Felicity replied as she and Stefan made their way into the house. "Could you tell me?"

"Why would you want to visit Amy's parents?" Astrid asked suspiciously.

"Because I want to tell them that I think it was incredibly rude for them to chuck Amy out of their lives just because she's having a baby with my father and the prospect makes her happy," Felicity replied. "So where do they live?"

"She's not gonna hurt anyone," Stefan told Astrid. "She promised Klaus she wouldn't."

"I still don't feel comfortable telling you," Astrid replied. "Or see any reason why you need to go talk to Amy's parents at all."

"Because I _care_ about Amy, okay?" Felicity burst out. "And Grandma, if you're not gonna help me, I'll still find them. It'll just take me longer."

"Don't you dare!" Astrid shook her head, eyes narrowed. "If you do this, and end up hurting someone, it won't matter that you're my granddaughter. I'm going to have to prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law."

"Fine, whatever," Felicity shrugged. "If, by chance, something does happen, go ahead and do whatever you need to do. I don't care. I know that what they did to Amy was wrong and _someone_ has to point it out to them!"

It took awhile, but eventually, Stefan and Felicity found the house where Amy's parents lived. Felicity knocked on the door and a sour-looking redheaded woman answered it. "Yes?" She asked. "May I help you?"

"I want to talk to you about your callous treatment of your daughter Amy," Felicity said, pushing the woman aside. "You should be ashamed of yourself. She was just doing what made her happy. She's your _daughter_, for god's sake!"

The woman looked at her blankly. "I'm sorry, dear," she said. "I have no idea who you're talking about. There's no one here by that name. I don't know anyone named Amy." She called for her husband. "Archie?"

"Yes, Martha?" Amy's father called back. "What do you need?" He came to stand by Martha, and she said, "This girl claims that we have a daughter named Amy and that we mistreated her. Now, don't you think we'd remember if we had any children?"

Felicity suddenly reached out and grabbed Martha by the throat. "I don't know what you're pulling here," she said between her teeth. "But I _know_ you have a daughter named Amy and that you mistreated her. Why are you lying to me?" She looked at Stefan. "Feel free to do whatever you want with Amy's father. He might know something her mother doesn't."

What followed was an exciting contest of wills. Stefan managed to injure Amy's father slightly before he was hit with a heavy dose of brain pain and let go. Felicity saw and put a spell on the man that sent stabbing pain through his gut every time he breathed, as if he were being stabbed by hundreds of knives every time he took a breath. Not long after she cast the spell, he began to bleed heavily.

"You see what's happening to your husband?" Felicity asked, shaking Martha. "Do you want the same thing to happen to you?" She jabbed her finger against the woman's throat. Suddenly, the woman's neck began twisting and cracking, her head spinning around and around repeatedly as she screamed. "Now, why won't you admit you have a daughter named Amy?!" Felicity yelled. By this time, Stefan had been able to get to his feet and bite Amy's father.

"Amy's gone!" A high, clear voice called out suddenly. A young woman in a housemaid's uniform stared at Felicity, breathing hard. Felicity saw her and dropped Amy's mother to the ground. "I know she's gone!" She said, hurrying over to the maid. "I want to know why no one but you seems to acknowledge that she exists. And you better tell me quick, or you'll end up in just as much pain as those two."

"All right," the maid breathed. "It was a spell. The second Miss Amy announced that she was pregnant, her father cast a spell that made everyone in her family forget she ever existed. The servants weren't part of the spell, so that's how I remember her still, but you ask anyone in the family, they won't know who she is."

"That is so cold!" Felicity breathed. "Who would do that to their own child?"

"It's just the way of things, Miss," the maid replied. "You won't hurt me, will you?"

"No," Felicity shook her head. "You've done nothing wrong." She let Stefan drink from Amy's father for a little longer, then said, "I think we need to go, Stefan. I've had enough of this house and enough of these people!"

"All right," Stefan nodded, looking up from Archie. "This guy's no good anyway." He let Amy's father flop to the ground and then the pair of them left Amy's parents house, the spell's Felicity had cast on the pair still going on, their screams of anguish clearly audible from the street.

"Nice trick you did with her mom," Stefan said appreciatively. "Very _Exorcist_."

Felicity nodded. "I would have loved to have been able to rip her head from her neck, but you know what Dad said about killing Amy's parents, so that really _was_ the best I could do. Glad you liked it."

They back to Klaus' and thought they were home free, but a few days later, Amy opened the door to find Astrid on the other side.

"Astrid!" Amy said in surprise. "What brings you here? Are you here to see Felicity?"

"Yes," Astrid nodded. It was obvious that what brought her to the house was causing her a lot of stress and anguish. "I _am_ here to see Felicity, but not as her grandmother. I'm here to see her as the head of the council."

Amy gasped. "Why?" She asked. "What's she done?"

"She tortured your parents," Astrid said. "She was upset that they disowned you. She told me she was just going to talk to them, but I knew it would turn out worse than that. Now, I'm going to have to take her to trial, and it will most likely end with her getting her powers taken away." She sighed. "I had hoped after Helene I wouldn't have to take another one of my family members' powers away, but obviously, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. What a shame." She gestured to several men she'd brought with her and they went inside and came back a few minutes later, all holding a squirming, angry Felicity. And Amy watched in shock as they carried her, kicking and screaming, from the house.


	21. Guilty As Charged

When the car Felicity had been thrown in stopped in front of the council building, two men got on either side of Felicity and pulled her out., holding onto her tightly as they led her into the building. Astrid strode ahead of them and didn't look back. When they got inside, they went to a section on one of the lower floors that contained cells. "Is this where I'm going to be staying?" Felicity finally asked. "What nice accomodations."

"Felicity," Astrid sighed. "Please don't make this more difficult than it needs to be. I want to get this whole process over with as soon as possible so we can all move on with our lives."

Felicity's lip quirked. "When's my trial?" She asked. "You can't keep me in here forever!"

"Tomorrow," Astrid told her. "Your trial will be tomorrow, ten a.m."

"All right," Felicity nodded. "I'll set an alarm. Or will those musclely guys come down here and drag me out of bed in the morning?"

"That all depends on you," Astrid said dryly. "If we allow you to come on your own, will you come peaceably?"

"Sure," Felicity nodded. "Yeah. Whatever."

Astrid nodded and headed over to the warden. "Watch out for my granddaughter, please."

"Do you mean that as a warning, or are you asking me to give her special privileges?" The warden asked.

"I want you to do no such thing," Astrid said. She sighed. "Never mind. Behave yourself," she called to Felicity.

"I'll be just as good as Helene was when you did this to her," Felicity called back.

Astrid headed out of the cell block and sighed as she shut the door behind her. "Lord help me," she whispered, then started as she saw Alistair standing outside the cell block door. "Did you really bring Felicity here?" He asked her.

"Of course," Astrid nodded. "Didn't you hear what she did to Amy's parents? I have to take her powers away so she won't give a repeat performance!"

"Why did she do it?" Alistair asked. "I never heard. Surely she had a good reason."

Astrid frowned at him. "Are you saying it was _okay_ for Felicity to use her powers to torture people? It's a good thing you left Klaus when you did, before your entire moral sense was gone!"

"I'm not saying she was right," Alistair told her. "But sometimes, people have what they believe are good reasons for doing bad things. They think they're being noble when they commit a bad act. I know I did when I killed my clan leader."

"You can ask Felicity yourself if you want," Astrid told him. "But don't stay too long. She's in the cell on the end of the right side of the room."

Alistair nodded and headed into the cell block, standing in front of Felicity's cell. "Darling?" He called. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Felicity nodded. "Just some bruises from where the toughs grabbed me, but they went away pretty quick. What are _you_ doing here, Alistair? Astrid seems pretty pissed at me. I thought you would be too."

"Well, that depends," Alistair responded. "Tell me why you killed Amy's parents and we'll see."

"They rejected her!" Felicity said. "Just because she wanted to live a life that they thought was wrong, they decided just to forget all about her! You don't treat your kids that way, no matter _what_ they do! I mean, you still think about Helene after all _she _did, right?"

"Yes," Alistair nodded. "She's my daughter and I love her. She did something wrong and was punished appropriately. I have no desire to add to her punishment." He paused. "I know you meant well when you did what you did, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Felicity nodded. "I was just trying to help, even though I _knew_ that it was wrong and I would most likely get into a lot of trouble."

"You knew Astrid was going to take away your powers," Alistair said. "Yet you did the crime anyway?"

"Yeah," Felicity nodded. "They can take away my powers. I really don't care. I'll be glad to no longer be part of a species that judges people and punishes people so harshly just for doing something outside the accepted norms of the group because it makes them happy. If Amy loves Dad and wants to have a baby with him, she should be allowed to do that without the threat of being banished and maligned hanging over her head. That's why I did what I did, Alistair. And I'm ready to accept the consequences."

Alistair nodded and leaned closer to her. "Don't tell Astrid this, but I'm really proud of you. Not for the injuring and torture, of course. That was an unwise course of action, but the reason you did it was very noble. You meant well and I'm proud to call you my granddaughter."

"Thank you," Felicity nodded. "At least _somebody_ is."

"Yeah," Alistair smiled. "Good luck tomorrow, sweet pea."

Felicity grinned at him and nodded, and he left her alone. She sat in her cell whistling to herself and pounding out musical rhythms on the cell wall until nightfall, when she finally fell asleep until the jailer woke her up to get dressed for her trial the next morning.

* * *

"I know you're worried about Felicity," Amy told Klaus. "But trust me. She'll probably be much happier without her powers anyway. Didn't you hear what she said at her trial?"

"No," Klaus shook his head. "I don't watch the magic witch channel like you do."

"Well," Amy cleared her throat. "She stood up and said that she was guilty and glad about what she'd done because she didn't want to belong to a species of people who rejected members of their families just for being themselves. Now, I'd think it was a lot sweeter if she_ hadn't _hurt my parents before she proclaimed that, but it's still kind of true."

"So you really_ are _upset about what your parents did?" Klaus asked.

Amy sighed. "Maybe a little," she said. "We always got along so well that I figured I couldn't make a wrong step, but apparently, I can. In their eyes, anyway. But now they don't even know who I am, so why should an opinion they _used_ to have matter anyway?"

Just then, Stefan came in, huffing and puffing and strode up to Klaus. "Where's Felicity?"

"The witch council took her away for using her magic to torture Amy's parents," Klaus told him. "I'm surprised you didn't see them all pull up and drag her away. It was quite dramatic, really."

"Can we get her back?" Stefan asked. "Will we see her again?"

"Astrid said they wouldn't hurt her, Stefan," Amy told him. "They're just taking her powers away because she abused them."

"And if you're planning on asking where she is so you can rescue her," Klaus added, "I wouldn't advise it. But her trial is over. She'll be back later in the day or tomorrow, perhaps."

"So you just expect me to sit around and wait for her to come back?" Stefan asked. "Fuck that!"

"Well, what can you do to distract yourself?" Amy asked. "If you have something else on your mind, the wait won't be so bad."

"I definitely won't be staying _here_," Stefan replied. "Maybe I'll go visit my brother. I haven't seen him in awhile." He paused. "Yeah. That's what I'll do."

* * *

"Stefan!" Damon cried when he opened the door. "Good to see you, brother!"

"Who else is here?" Stefan asked. "I saw another car outside."

"Lenora stopped by with her kids," Damon explained. "She was worried about Felicity and didn't want to be alone. Is that why you came too?"

"Yes," Stefan sighed. "Just don't tell anyone." He sat down on the sofa next to Lenora. "Klaus said her trial was over. What happened?"

"She was pronounced guilty of using her powers to torture Amy's parents," Lenora told him.

"What does that mean?" Stefan asked. "Are they gonna kill her?"

"No," Lenora shook her head. "They'll just take her powers away so she'll only be a vampire. You'll see her later."

"Good," Stefan nodded. "Good."

"You want a drink, brother?" Damon asked. "You look like you could use one. Missing your partner in crime seems to be taking a lot out of you."

Stefan nodded. "Whisky," he said. Damon brought him a glass and he gulped it down. "More," he ordered.

Damon took the glass back. "How does Klaus feel about you missing Felicity as much as you are? Have you told him?"

"Yeah," Stefan nodded. "He took it surprisingly well. Much better than Lucy is taking it at the moment. Or has she gotten over herself since prom?"

"No," Damon shook his head. "She still hates the idea."

"What idea does who hate?" Lucy asked.

"The idea of Stefan and Felicity," Damon told her. "You still hate it, right?"

"Yeah," Lucy nodded. "It's weird. But I bet I don't hate it as much as Dad will when _he_ finds out."

"Actually, he already knows," Stefan told her with a smirk. "And surprisingly, he's okay with it. He said he'd rather have her with me than some stupid human boy who'll get her pregnant."

"Really?" Lucy asked in shock. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Stefan nodded. "And you don't want to come across as being less accepting than your dad, do you?"

"In her defense," Damon reminded Stefan, "She was raised by Elijah, not Klaus, so naturally she's gonna be high and mighty."

"Hey!" Lucy frowned and put her hands on her hips.

"Oh, don't get so riled up!" Damon grinned. "I find your elitist attitude endearing. Now sit down and have a drink."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "That's your solution to _everything_," she muttered. But she sat down anyway. Damon got her a drink and they all sat in silence until Lenora's cell phone rang, which caused everyone to jump.

"Let me get this," Lenora said. "Excuse me a minute, everyone." She left Henry and Susanna in the living room and went off to another room, away from everyone. "Hello?" She asked into the phone. "Who is this?"

"It's your mother, Lenora," Helene told her. "I haven't been able to watch the news cause Kol won't let me, but how did your sister's trial turn out?"

"She got found guilty," Lenora said. "Now she'll be powerless, just like you. And what do you mean you didn't see it because Kol won't let you watch the witch news? I would have thought he'd be rejoicing at the thought of someone who harmed witches getting their comeuppance."

"I don't know," Helene said. "That's what I thought too, but no such luck. Anyway, I can't imagine my mother was too happy having to do this with _two_ members of her family."

"No," Lenora shook her head. "I bet she wouldn't be. I mean, she was pretty mad when she found out I was pregnant with Henry. And I remember what she was like when she and Dad had you hauled away. But i bet Felicity was able to handle herself. Grandma's anger probably didn't affect her too much."

"No," Helene smiled. "If anything, Felicity's reaction probably just made her madder."

"Felicity said at her trial that she was glad to get her powers taken away because she didn't want to be part of a species of people that think it's okay to toss aside their children like used tissues just because they don't behave like ther parents want them to. That's why Felicity hurt Amy's parents so bad. She must've thought she was doing Amy a favor."

Helene scoffed. "Well, we can thank your father for giving her that screwy way of thinking, can't we?" She asked.

"I thought you said you weren't gonna badmouth Dad anymore," Lenora said. "Mom, you promised!"

"You're right," Helene said. "I'm sorry. Anyway, when your sister gets back, let me know, all right? I wanna see if she'll talk to me."

"All right," Lenora said. "I'll try, Mom. But I don't know how successful I'll be." She then told Helene goodbye and called her father.

"Hello?" Adrian said.

"Felicity was declared guilty!" Lenora said. "Now she's powerless."

"What?" Adrian asked. "Lenora, is that you?"

"Yes!" Lenora said. "I just wanted to tell you the outcome of Felicity's trial!"

"What trial?" Adrian asked. "Is Felicity in trouble? Why didn't anyone tell me about this?"

"She tortured two people with her magic, which of course, made Grandma Astrid upset, not to mention broke the law, so she had her powers taken away," Lenora repeated. "It was all over the witch news."

"But I don't _watch_ the witch news, remember?" Adrian reminded her. "So Felicity will be okay?"

"Of course," Lenora nodded. "She'll be just like Mom is: a vampire only."

"Well, isn't that nice?" Adrian said. "Would you get her to call me when she gets back? I know she probably won't want to talk to me, but I figure I should at least try to say something comforting, right?"

"Yeah," Lenora nodded. "if you want to. I gotta go, but I'll make sure she calls you after she calls Mom, all right?"

"Your mom called?" Adrian said in surprise.

"Well, of course!" Lenora said. "Why wouldn't she?"

"I don't know," Adrian replied. "I just...I don't know."

"All right," Lenora said. "Goodbye, Dad."

She went back into the room where everyone else was waiting just as Stefan's cell phone rang. He answered, and hung up a few seconds later, grinning widely. "Felicity's back," he said. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go."

He ran out to his car, drove home as fast as possible, and threw himself at Felicity, who was standing just inside the door.

"Can I assume you missed me?" She asked, looking up at him from where she lay face up on the floor.

"Yeah, I missed you," Stefan said. "Do me a favor and _never_ do anything that will get you arrested by the witches again, okay?"

"Felicity?" Amy called. "Are you back?" She and Klaus came upon them while they were kissing and when he saw, Klaus gently pushed Amy back. "Let's give them a few seconds," he said. "Then we can butt in their little reunion."

"All right," Amy nodded. "I'm just glad Felicity seems okay."

"Yes," Klaus nodded, letting out a breath. "Me too."


	22. Labor Shortage

"You'll never guess what," Roxie said to Vince. "Enid's going out of town on some singles' cruise and she wants you and I to watch the bar while she's gone!"

Vince's jaw dropped a little. "You're kidding!"

"No," Roxie said. "And why do you look so shocked? We're perfectly trustworthy!"

"I know I am," Vince said. "I don't know about you."

"Well, that's hurtful," Roxie replied, slapping his arm. "Being at the bar will be so perfect. There's a full moon coming up, you know. Will you turn with me so I have company?"

"You know I would love to," Vince told her. "But if we both turn, who'll watch the bar?"

"Damn it," Roxie's mouth twisted. "That's actually a good excuse. But you said you'd turn some time and come out with me. You promised!"

"I know, and I will!" Vince exclaimed. "Just not this month, okay?" He paused. "Did you call your dad and tell him?"

"No," Roxie shook her head. "You think I should?"

Vince shrugged. "Maybe."

So Roxie called Klaus and told him.

"Enid's seriously letting you run the bar by yourself for two weeks?" Klaus asked.

"Yeah," Roxie said. "Are you gonna come by?"

"Yeah," Klaus nodded. "And I'll bring Amy with me. She said she wants to get to know the place and the people so she'll be comfortable with Enid delievering Savannah."

"Who's that?" Roxie asked. "Is that what you're gonna name the baby?"

"Yeah," Klaus replied. "It's a little modern for my tastes, but her middle name will be Audrey, which is classic, so it works both ways."

"I like it," Roxie replied. "That's nice."

"And like I told you before," Klaus continued. "Just because Amy and I are having a baby doesn't mean I'm going to forget about you, all right?"

"I know that," Roxie replied. "I'm not a child. I have Vince to give me attention now, so I don't need to rely so much on you."

"That's good to know," Klaus told her. "But you'll still come visit me, right? Even though I know you're not very fond of Amy?"

"Of course, Daddy," Roxie nodded. "I'll still come and visit you."

* * *

"I can't believe you get the bar for the next two weeks," Laura told Roxie as she came into work the first day after Enid left. "Are you excited?"

"Yeah," Roxie nodded. "And if you want, you can bring Edward and I'll look the other way if the two of you want to have sex on your break. I know that with your dad looking over your shoulder, experiences like that are non-existent."

"Actually," Laura grinned, "We were sneaky a few months ago and had sex when Dad let me go over to Vince's unsupervised."

Roxie's eyes widened. "Uncle Elijah let you do that? What was wrong with him? Did you get him drunk first?"

"No," Laura shook her head. "He wanted the house to himself so that he and Mom could have sex because she was upset about having to send Annaliese to boarding school, so I went to Edward's and thought it would be awfully hypocritical of Dad to be upset at me and Edward for having sex when that's what he and Mom were doing too."

"And you don't have to go telling everyone," Edward said, striding through the bar doors. "Do you realize that? It could get around to your father if you tell everyone you see."

"Oh, stop!" Laura said. "It wasn't a bad thing! You had fun and you know it."

"I didn't say it was a bad thing," Edward told her. "I just think it's not something you need to go around blabbing to everyone you see."

"I only blab because I'm proud of you!" Laura replied. "You're very skilled."

"Look at you two," Roxie grinned. "It's adorable!"

Laura cleared her throat. "You want a drink, Edward?"

"Sure," Edward nodded. "A Coke."

"That's all you want?" Laura asked, eyebrow raised. "I can get behind the bar and do so much more for you."

"You know that's technically illegal," Edward chided her.

"Fine," Laura rolled her eyes and plunked a can of Coke down in front of him. "Here." He opened it and Laura turned back to Roxie. "So what are you planning to do with Addie while you run the bar here? You're not gonna leave her home alone, are you?"

Roxie scoffed. "Hell, no. I've already been through a pregnancy scare once and I don't want to have to go through another one as the mother because Addie wasn't watching herself."

"But she's careful!" Laura said. "Where do you think the condoms I took to Edward's apartment came from?"

"True," Roxie agreed. "But she's too much like me for me _not_ to be worried. I think I might send them both to Dad or Mom's. I haven't decided which."

"Or I could ask Tessa," Vince suggested. "I'm sure she'd be glad to take them in for a bit and she hardly ever gets to see them."

Roxie rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said. "We'll put Tessa up as an option, but I don't know how well that'll go over. Addie doesn't like her."

"Well, there could be _other_ reasons why Tessa would be a good option besides Addie," Vince said through his teeth. "Think about that."

"What are we talking about?" Addie asked as she strode through the bar doors, pushing her dark brown hair out of her blue eyes. She looked eagerly at her mother. "So have you decided whether or not I'll get to stay home alone while you run this place?"

"You don't get to," Laura told her. "Cause you remind your mom of herself too much. But I suggested that you could come stay at my house for the two weeks. I think that could be fun."

"I don't know," Addie's nose crinkled. "Your dad is sort of irritating."

"Tell me about it," Laura scoffed. "I have to live with him all the time."

"He's not that bad," Edward said after swallowing his soda and burping. "Well," he said. "Excuse me."

"Well, of course you like him," Addie said. "The two of you are exactly alike. If you were to agree that he had problems, you'd only be insulting yourself." Before Edward could respond to this remark, Addie turned away from him. "So," she said to Roxie, "Where am I staying? I suppose I could go stay with one of my boyfriends. They'd be glad to take me in."

"No," Vince said, looking up from the pool table where he was shooting. "You're not staying overnight with a boy for that long. Your mom and I told you that you could do whatever you wanted with your love life as long as you were careful, but you aren't moving in with anyone."

"But didn't you two move in together when you were close to my age?" Addie asked. "Why can't I do it, then?"

"Well, for starters," Vince replied, "None of the boys you sleep with are even remotely responsible enough to maintain a decent relationship. Also, one of the reasons why your mom and I moved in together was that between the two of us, we had nowhere else to go."

"Yeah," Roxie nodded. "I was freaked out at my dad, and my parents kiled his parents when they kidnapped and tortured me, making him an orphan. Our moving in together was a necessity. You're not in that same situation."

"Seriously?" Addie huffed. "It's not fair!"

"You don't have too long to wait," Vince told her. "We said you could move out and get a place of your own when you turned eighteen and we meant it."

"That's only a year away," Roxie said. "Be patient." She paused. "So, who would you like to stay with while your dad and I run the bar?"

Addie looked at Laura. "If I have to stay somewhere, I think I'll stay with Grandma and Uncle Elijah."

"All right," Roxie nodded. "I'll go give them a call to see if it's okay you're coming."

"You don't have to do that," Laura said. "I already asked Mom and she said that Addie could stay in Annaliese's room if she wanted. It won't be some big surprise for her."

"Good," Roxie nodded. "Good."

A few minutes later, Edward set his can down on the bar. "Done with that," he said. "Now I'm gonna go and do some studying for class. You need me to help you, Laura? As long as you're all going to your house, I could come too.

"Is 'study' a euphemism?" Roxie asked.

"No, sadly," Laura replied. "Since we're gonna be at my house and not his apartment, we'd actually be studying. And sure, Edward. Why not?"

"All right," Edward nodded. "See you then."

* * *

"Daddy said he was gonna bring Amy to the bar today," Roxie told Lucy a week later. The full moon had been the night before and the two of them had kept each other company during their transformations. "I don't know why. She's pregnant. She can't even drink!"

"Didn't you drink when you were pregnant?" Lucy asked. "You're in no position to comment on what other people do."

"I just drank a little bit," Roxie said. "And Addie turned out fine...eventually."

"What about Joey? Wasn't Joey stillborn?" Lucy asked, a little too loudly. "How is that kid even alive?"

"Will you shut _up_?" Roxie yelled at her sister, eyes wide. Then, she quieted. "We don't talk about that. Enid brought him back by magic and technically, it was illegal, so shut up!"

"Oh," Lucy flushed a little. "Sorry."

Just then, Roxie groaned as Amy and Klaus strode into the bar. "Where is everyone?" Amy asked. "The whole place seems empty."

Roxie didn't respond. Her eyes were locked on Amy's huge stomach.

"Are you due any day now?" Lucy asked after elbowing Roxie in the gut so she'd look away.

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "Any day now. We're having a little girl."

"Of _course_ they are," Roxie muttered under her breath, then looked at Amy with a smile. "I know," she said. "Savannah Audrey. Daddy told me already."

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick," Amy told Klaus after a few minutes of awkward silence. "But I promise I'll come right back."

However, despite that promise, she didn't, and when the power went out and the bar plunged into darkness, followed by Amy's loud, piecing shriek, Klaus forced his way into the bathroom. "Amy?" He cried. "Love? Are you all right?"

"Yes," Amy said, her voice pained. "But my water broke. I suppose that having it happen while I was sitting on the toilet is not the worst case scenario. And I didn't mean to make the power go out, but-"

"Never mind!" Klaus broke in. "Can you stand up and leave the toilet stall?"

"I'll try," Amy nodded. "I can't see a thing, though." She flushed the toilet and made her way out while Roxie went to look for a flashlight and Lucy stayed with Klaus and Amy. "Just keep breathing and stay calm," she instructed. "Everything will be okay. It probably would have been better to have someone who actually knows what they're doing deliver this baby, but we'll manage."

Roxie returned a few minutes later with an electronic latern-shaped light and soon, light blossomed in the bathroom. "All right," she said. "Can everyone see?"

"Yeah," Lucy nodded. "We'll be all right now. Thanks." She paused. "Maybe the bathroom isn't the best place to do this." She looked at Klaus. "Where in this place did Mom have Adrian?"

"Behind the bar," Klaus said and winced as Amy squeezed his hand really hard. "Do you think you can make it there, Amy?"

"Yeah," Amy panted. "I think I can do it." She'd been on her back on the floor, but Klaus pulled her to her feet as gently as he could, then Roxie put blankets and pillows behind the bar, and Lucy set the light beside her. Meanwhile, Amy continued to scream and all the appliances went berserk, especially the coffee machine and microwave in the break room. Bottles of beer broke and spilled everywhere, and the burglar alarm even started blaring.

"Oh, fuck!" Lucy exclaimed.

"When the police get here, you tell 'em to go away, all right, Lucy?" Roxie asked. "You're the one who seems the most law-abiding out of all of us. They won't be suspicious of you."

She was proven correct a few minutes later when the police came and Lucy sent them away without trouble. Finally, after several hours, the baby arrived and the bar was finally quiet, except for her cries.

"Here's your baby," Roxie said after catching her as she came out, wrapping her in some towels, and presenting her to her parents.

"Red hair," Klaus grinned. "She's gonna have red hair, Amy. And be as pretty as you."

"Thanks," Amy panted. "Even though I'm not at my prettiest right now."

Klaus kissed her. "I don't think that's true," he said. A few minutes later, just after the lights came on, Alistair strode through the door of the bar. "What in the world happened in here?" He asked. "Lucy, is everything all right? You've been thinking about me so much, it's like a scream!"

"Amy had her baby," Lucy explained. "I know Astrid's busy and Enid's gone, but you can help, right?"

"Yes," Alistair nodded. "I can." He came around the bar next to Amy and looked at Roxie. "I commend you for keeping this place so clean," he said.

"Thanks," Roxie replied. Alistair carefully washed the baby in the sink, wrapped her up again, and handed her back to Amy. "Congratulations," he said. Then he cleared his throat. "I should probably be going now," he said.

"Yes," Klaus nodded. "That might be best. But thank you."

"You're welcome," Alistair replied and disappeared. Lucy looked at her watch. "I have to go meet Damon for a thing," she said. "But I'll be back later." She left, leaving Amy, Roxie, and Klaus alone behind the bar.

"Thank you," Amy said to Roxie.

"Yes," Klaus agreed. "Thank you. I know this baby wasn't something you were looking forward to, but you helped us out anyway."

Roxie shrugged. "You're welcome," she said. "All I ask in return is that you make time for me. When things have calmed down a little, of course. You're gonna be busy for awhile, which I completely understand because I've been pregnant too. But when things have calmed down, give me a call and we'll do something. Just us."

"Of course," Klaus nodded. "Especially after this, anything you want. And you can tell Vince that you delivered Savannah."

Roxie grinned. "You might have to back me up on that. I don't think he'll believe me if I tell him myself."

"Yes, I will," Vince said, peering over the bar. "It's nice to know you did something productive during the slow time in the middle of the day. Good job, Roxie. I'm proud of you."


	23. Making Up For The Past

"I can't believe I have to wait a whole year before I can move out," Addie said to Joey. Her twin brother had once been scrawny and shy, but was now very muscular, with bright blue eyes and dark hair like her. "I wanna move out _now."_

"I bet I want to move out even more than you," he said. "At least Mom and Dad let you go out, see people, and have a life."

"Well, that's because you're supposed to be dead," Addie told him. "Remember that?"

"I know," Joey nodded. "But just because I'm supposed to be dead, I'm tired of Mom and Dad treating me like I am. I have to tell them that I want to start having a life. Meeting people. Maybe even having a girlfriend."

"That's not all it's cracked up to be," Addie told him. "That's why I haven't had what people would consider a 'real' relationship. It's just too much trouble."

"I think you're cynical," Joey replied. "I'd like to have a relationship. But I won't have one as long as I stay here."

"Where else would you go?" Addie asked.

"I don't know," Joey replied. "But I'll think of somewhere."

Joey decided to breach the discussion of his life while he and his father worked on a motorcycle at the garage where Vince was a repairman when he wasn't working at the bar. "Dad?" He asked. "I want to be allowed to go out."

Vince looked at him. "You know that's not a good idea," he replied. "Your mother and I have explained this to you your whole life. You're allowed to go out with supervision, but being on your own is not a good idea. You're too young. You could make a bad decision and then we'd lose you."

"Well, I just don't think it's fair," Joey replied. "Aunt Enid brought me to life so I could have a life. Not so you could lock me up in your house and no one would see me. Sometimes I wish she would have kept me instead and not brought me back to you. Maybe then I would've had a life!" He threw the wrench down on the ground and strode out of the garage. "I'm going home," he said. "What time should I tell Mom you'll be back?"

Vince sighed. "Tell her I'll be back in an hour," he said.

Joey nodded and drove back home.

* * *

"Where's your dad?" Roxie asked as Joey stomped into the house and threw his toolbox on a chair.

"He's coming back in an hour," Joey replied tersely before stomping up to his room.

"What was _that_ all about?" Roxie asked Addie. "Do you know?"

"He's upset that you and Dad don't let him have a life," Addie told her. "And he wants to move out as soon as possible. He might even be considering running away at this point."

"What?" Roxie asked. "How is that even possible? We did as good a job with him as we possibly could!"

Addie shrugged. "It obviously wasn't good enough for him, was it?"

Sighing, Roxie headed up to Joey's room and knocked on his door. "Can we talk?" She asked him. "Please?"

"Fine," Joey called back. "Come in."

Roxie entered his extremely dirty room and sat down on his bed. "So, Addie says you're thinking about running away. Is that true?"

"I don't know!" Joey replied. "Maybe. How else will I have a life? Besides, you ran away when you were a kid too, so you have no right to lecture me."

Roxie nodded. "You're right," she said. "I don't. And I suppose that in a way, your father and I _have_ been too overprotective of you."

"Thank you for admitting that," Joey nodded. "Thanks a lot."

"And," Roxie said, "if you feel you need to move somewhere else to have the life you want, as long as you're careful and don't get into too much trouble, it's your choice. You're old enough to take care of yourself now."

"Well, thanks," Joey replied in surprise. He'd not expected his mother to react so well to the idea that he wanted to move out.

"Where do you think you wanna live?" Roxie asked him. "I'm not letting you leave until you have a place to go to when you do."

"What if I stay at Aunt Enid's?" Joey asked. "She's got rooms above the bar, doesn't she?"

"Yeah," Roxie nodded. "But she's still gone on her trip for a day or two more. When she comes back, I promise we'll talk to her about getting you a room, or at least ask her what adjustments can be made so you can have some sort of life."

"Thanks, Mom," Joey said and hugged her. "Thanks a lot."

* * *

The ringing phone brought Lucy from her studio to the living room. She looked around for Damon, but didn't see him anywhere, so she picked up the phone and answered it herself. "Hello?"

"Lucy?" Sam's voice answered her. "Is that you?"

"Yeah," Lucy replied. "Who is this?"

"It's Sam," Sam replied. "You know, your brother? Is Dad around? Uncle Stefan said I'm supposed to call him and Mom and tell them I'm not dead and I've been hiding out at the boardinghouse in Mystic Falls all this time."

"Seriously?" Lucy asked. "And you never thought to call once? Your dad's been worried sick about you!"

"Stop yelling at me!" Sam replied. "You're my sister, not my mother, even if you _are_ sleeping with my dad." He paused. "Are you serious about him worrying about me?"

"Well, duh!" Lucy replied. "He's your _dad_, for god's sake! He wouldn't even let Mom raise us together at my dad's house because he wanted you so bad. Did you honestly think that being in a relationship with me would just make him automatically forget about you?"

"Obviously I thought that, otherwise I wouldn't have hidden away for so long!" Sam snapped. "I don't want to talk to you anymore. Is Dad there or not?"

"If he was here, he would have answered the phone instead of me," Lucy replied. "How about I tell him to call you when he gets back? Do you still have the same cell phone number?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "I do."

"All right," Lucy nodded. "I'll let him know you called. Goodbye, Sam."

Sam had hung up on her without even responding. Lucy hung up the phone and went back to her studio. Half an hour later, Damon came in. "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" He asked.

"Yep," Lucy nodded. "Sam called. He said Stefan wanted him to let you and Mom know he hasn't been dead all this time. He's just been hiding out at the boardinghouse in Mystic Falls because he doesn't think you need him anymore."

Damon's jaw dropped a little. "You're kidding, right? Those were his exact words?"

"I'm summarizing," Lucy corrected. "But that's basically the gist of what he said. He also told me he has the same cell number he's always had, so if you want to call him back, feel free. I actually think he'd like to hear from you."

Damon nodded, his lips pressed in a thin line. "He will definitely be hearing from me. I don't know why it didn't just occur to me to call his cell before."

"Maybe you thought you were being nice by giving him space," Lucy suggested.

"Maybe," Damon sighed. He picked up the phone and dialed Sam's number.

"If this is Lucy again..." Sam's voice began.

"It's me," Damon said. "Your dad. Lucy told me you called."

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "I did. Uncle Stefan is here at the boardinghouse with me and he encouraged me to let you know that I was all right. Although I figured you thought that I was, since you never called to ask about what was going on with me. Mom not calling, I get. She has a whole other life to deal with, another husband, other kids. But you, dad, you don't have an excuse like that."

"I know," Damon sighed. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you go off on your own and did nothing to try and be as close to you as I was to Lucy. And given the fact that you were my second chance after I was cheated out of the opportunity to raise your brother, I really should have tried harder.

"Yeah," Sam replied. "Maybe you should have."

"Do you want me to come down to the boardinghouse and see you?" Damon asked. "Because I will."

"No," Sam replied. "Not yet, anyway. I'll let you know when I'm ready for that."

"All right," Damon replied. "Are you going to call your mother too and give her the same speech you just gave me?"

"No," Sam shook his head. "I'll just tell her I'm okay. That's all."

"It's good you're doing that," Damon told him. "If anyone deserves to know you're all right, it's your mother."

"Yeah," Sam replied quietly. "Bye, Dad."

He ended the call and Damon put his phone back and went to see Lucy. "So," she asked. "How bad was it? How much did he yell at you?"

"Less than I deserve," Damon replied. "I admire his restraint, actually."

"But you also know there's nothing wrong with our relationship, right?" Lucy asked. "That us being together was one of the big things that made him run off, but despite that, we didn't do anything wrong."

"Maybe I _did_ do something wrong," Damon told her. "Not the relationship as a whole, but the fact that I let myself get so involved in us that I let Sam get left behind. It wasn't fair to him, especially after I fought so hard to get him from your mother so I could raise him myself."

"Oh, that's _right_!" Lucy cried, her eyes wide. "You _did_ do that!"

"Yep," Damon nodded. "And then look where he ends up: In Mystic Falls, at the boardinghouse, by himself. Some parent I am."

"No," Lucy shook her head. "Don't beat yourself up like that." She hugged him. "It's not like you threw him out in the cold on his ass. He chose to leave on his own. Granted our overenthusiastic displays of affection probably had something to do with why he left, but that, as I said before, was his choice. It wasn't something that you decided for him. You should only feel a little bad. Not a whole lot. And I should feel just as bad as you because he's my brother and I should have been more considerate of his feelings." She paused. "Think about this, though: now that we know where he is, you and he can start over! I promise I'll stay out of it because he sorta doesn't like me and my presence would only make things worse, but I really think he wants to start again with you, even if he won't say it out loud."

"Yeah," Damon nodded. "Maybe you're right. He told me he'd call me when he was ready for me to come and visit him at the boarding house. I think it goes without saying that I'll be waiting eagerly for that call."

* * *

"Are you okay?" Felicity asked after Sam let her into his room that night.

"Yeah," Sam sighed. "I'm fine. It's just a little draining to call your parents who haven't paid attention to you in years and tell them you're not dead, you know? That probably doesn't make sense to you, but that's why I'm a little off."

"Oh, no!" Felicity said, sitting on his bed. "If anyone understands that, it's me! My parents didn't want me, either."

"Did they ever tell you you were an accident?" Sam asked her.

"Not in so many words," Felicity replied. "But my bio mom wanted me, and she didn't consult my bio dad before she stopped taking birth control, and when he found out that he was gonna have another vampire-witch hybrid on his hands, it was more than he could handle, so he left. Then, after I was born, he and my bio mom raised me for about six months, until my powers started showing themselves, and then my bio dad got scared again and took me to my grandfather's so _he_ could raise me and make sure I was just as much a vampire as I was a witch, which he was convinced would _not_ happen if I stayed with him and my bio mom. Then later, my bio mom took me back, but she wasn't exactly the fittest mom in the world and she put a spell on me to stop me from crying, which probably would have killed me if my grandfathers and my grandmother wouldn't have come to rescue me." She paused and looked at Sam. "What's your story?"

"Technically, I'm not supposed to exist," Sam replied. "My dad had a human girlfriend and he thought he was gonna be with her forever, so he went to a bar to meet a witch that had a potion that would make it possible for him to have a child with his girlfriend, despite the fact that he's a vampire, but only under the condition that the woman who ended up being my mom wasn't the mother."

"But she was?" Felicity asked.

"Yep," Sam nodded. "The day Dad took the potion, his girlfriend dumped him and my mom came to vent to my dad because her daughter with her husband at the time was having a pregnancy scare and that was really stressing my mom out. They both started drinking and then they had sex, and the next day, after they realized what they'd done, Dad told Mom about the potion, and she went home and had sex with her husband, which led to her being pregnant with two kids by two different men. My dad raised me by himself for awhile, and then he and my sister Lucy got together, which disgusted me so much that I left. Today was the first time I've talked to either of them in who knows how long."

Just then, Felicity's eye caught the picture of Selina on his dresser. "Hey," she said. "Why do you have a picture of my grandma on your dresser?"

"That's my mom," Sam told her. "She's your _grandma_? No way!"

"Yep," Felicity nodded. "It's true."

Sam then grabbed Felicity's hand and pulled her to the living room where Stefan sat, drinking a beer and reading a book. "Did you know that my mom is her grandma, Uncle Stefan?" Sam asked him in surprise. "That makes me related to her!"

"Yep," Stefan nodded. "That's true. Selina's love life makes a very tangled web of relationships. So if the two of you were thinking of hopping in bed together, this might cause you to rethink that decision."

"Maybe not," Sam said, eying Lucy. "How closely related are we? I mean, people married their cousins a long time ago, right?"

"Yeah, but that never ended well," Stefan replied. "And you aren't honestly thinking of marrying her, are you, Sam?"

"No," Sam shook his head. "I just said that to make a point."

"You're my great-uncle," Felicity replied. "I think. You're Adrian's half brother, so biologically, yep. That would make you my great uncle."

"Now that we've cleared that up," Stefan said, "have you called both your parents, Sam?"

"Yeah, I did," Sam nodded.

"All right," Stefan replied. "Feel free to do what you want with the rest of your evening then. Just don't make me have to come up to your rooms and check on the two of you."

"Don't be silly, Stefan!" Felicity replied. "He's my uncle. It would take something pretty nutty for me to do any funny business with him."

"Ditto," Sam nodded, but gave Felicity a long look anyway. "Ditto."

* * *

After Felicity went back to her room, she called Klaus and Amy.

"Hello?" Klaus answered sleepily.

"Did I wake you?" Felicity asked him. "I'm so sorry! I just thought you'd want to know how things are going at the apartment. But if you're tired, it can wait until tomorrow. I know you're pretty busy with Savannah and everything."

"No, no!" Klaus replied, sounding much more awake now. "I'm so glad you called. It's great to hear from another person who's capable of holding a normal conversation. You don't get a lot of that when you're watching a baby as young as Savannah."

"Yeah, it's hard at first," Klaus replied. "But she'll get older and then we'll finally get some sleep." He took the phone into the bedroom where Amy was just about to collapse on the pillows, then he put the phone on his shoulder. "It's Felicity," he said. "She's calling from the new apartment. Do you have enough energy to talk to her?"

"Yes," Amy replied, finding the strength to pull herself up. "I'll take the phone."

"Okay," Klaus said and put the phone back to his ear. "Lissy? I'm gonna give you to Amy so you can talk to her for a little while before she passes out completely."

"All right," Felicity nodded. "Cool."

"How are you, sweetie?" Amy asked when she took the phone. "Do you like the apartment?"

"It's not so much an apartment as a boardinghouse," Felicity said. "I met a great-uncle I didn't even know I had before today."

"How interesting!" Amy replied. "Is he nice?"

"Yeah," Felicity replied. "He's like the one person who has a more screwed up life than I do. It's nice to have someone to talk to about that. And he's cute, but I can't think about that, of course. Cause it would be weird."

"Why would it be weird?" Amy asked. "Unless of course you're talking about sleeping with him."

"Yeah," Felicity said. "That's what I was thinking about. You know, if I still had my powers, I could stick him in a new body and then I could sleep with him as much as I wanted."

"What about Stefan?" Felicity asked. "Wouldn't it bother him to see you sleeping with other men right in front of him?"

"No," Felicity replied. "We pretty much sleep with whoever we feel like at any given moment. I'm sure he wouldn't bear me any ill will."

"Well, all right," Amy replied. "I just wanted to be sure, and I'm glad your new living arrangements are working out." She then tried to stifle a yawn, but Felicity heard anyway."

"Give me back to dad so you can go to bed," she advised. "It sounds like you need the sleep."

"I do," Amy replied. "You're so sweet to notice. Goodnight, sweetie. Here's your dad."

She handed the phone back to Klaus and shut her eyes.

"Sounds like things are working out with you and Stefan's new house," Klaus told her. "Is that right?"

"Yeah," Felicity said. "That's right. We found a surprise occupant when we arrived, but it turned out to be Stefan's nephew who got keys for the place from his dad, so it's cool. We're co-existing nicely."

"Well, good," Klaus replied. "When you get settled in, be sure to call me and we'll set up a time for you to come and visit, all right?"

"Of course," Felicity replied. "I was just gonna ask you about that. It honestly won't take me long to get settled in, so I can come at any time."

Just then, Savannah started crying. "That's Savannah," Klaus told her. "I have to go. Would it work for you to stop by in a week?"

"Yeah," Felicity said quickly. "You go take care of Savannah now, and have a good night, Daddy."

"You too, pet," Klaus told her. "You too."


End file.
